14 Signs You're With Him For His Money And You Don't Even Know It

Women are hardwired to be attracted to men who can provide us with stability — millions of years ago that meant a man who was strong could protect us from predators and was good at hunting. Today, one little thing takes care of all the modern versions of that: money. You’re not a gold digger if you find yourself drawn to a successful man, but you should make sure that’s not the reason you’re attracted to him.

I’m not saying a rich man isn’t loveable for his personality, but the money can stand in the way of a woman seeing it. Here are 14 little signs that the chemistry you’re feeling is just the prospect of a padded bank account, i.e. you’re with him for his money,

You don’t check the price before suggesting something

There was a time when you’d hear of a new restaurant or show and between learning of it and suggesting it to your boyfriend, there was an extra step of considering if it’s something he could afford. Now, you just blurt it out.

You suggest things he should buy for himself

With men of medium or below-medium means, you’d never be the first to suggest they need a new wardrobe or new furniture: this might only make them insecure about a problem they couldn’t afford to fix. But you have no problem trying to “improve” your rich boyfriend, emailing him links to couches he should buy, taking him shopping for better clothes…which he, of course, will be paying for.

You don’t like him as much when you stay in

For some reason, on the rare occasion the two of you aren’t going out for expensive cocktails or dinner or a concert, but just stay in like a normal, broke couple, you find yourself feeling irritated with your partner. Or at least very bored with him. That’s because the money creates the spark…

You suddenly feel in love when you go out

The moment your guy suggests you get dressed up and go out, all your warm, fuzzy feelings come back for him. He suddenly looks very attractive. This relationship feels like it’s going very well.

You ask to come along on business trips

Knowing good and well that that means he is paying for it, you ask if you can tag along on his business trips which of course take place in expensive hotels, and which will land you a seat at those five-star restaurant business meetings. You don’t offer to pay for your ticket—you don’t even pretend to offer.

You’d rather sleep at his place

When it’s time for a sleep over, it isn’t even a question in your head where it will take place: you always want to go to his place. It’s nice over there, with the state of the art gym, and swimming pool, and views from the penthouse…

You tell your parents all the fun activities you do

When you talk to your parents, you go on and on about all the nice places your boyfriend has taken you to, and the nice gifts he’s bought you. If you feel guilt deep down over being with a man for his money, it can help you feel a little better to be reminded that your parents love a guy who can take care of you.

You tell him about things you can’t afford

You find yourself whining about the new kitchen countertops you love but can’t afford, or the shoes that would go perfect with the dress your boyfriend bought you, but that cost $300. Speaking about not affording such luxuries in front of someone of average means is just in poor taste. But not in front of a rich boyfriend…

You worry less about your job

You notice a drastic drop in stress around your job. If your coworkers are upset with you, or your boss thinks you’re slacking off, or you think you may get laid off, you don’t stress over these things like you used to. In the back of your mind, with this boyfriend, you’ll eventually get to stop working entirely.

You’ve stopped envisioning your career future

You used to dream of opening your own business, owning a restaurant, climbing the ladder to a certain position at your current company. Those dreams have stopped. Probably because, once again, why work when your boyfriend makes more than enough money for the both of you?

Money fixes your problems

When you’ve gotten into an argument, instead of ending it by calmly sitting down and finding a solution, somebody says, “Let’s go to that seafood restaurant we love!” or “Let’s go shopping and clear our heads.” Without that money, the two of you would have broken up a long time ago since you clearly have no real conflict resolution skills.

You try on clothes in front of him

Whenever you get the chance, whether you’re in the mall while he picks up a new sound system, or there is a boutique in the lobby of a hotel you’re grabbing drinks at, you “happen” to find a (pricey) dress that fits just perfectly. And you “happen” to find a way to show it to him. And, he buys it for you. Of course.

Thinking of him broke makes you not like him

If you really envisioned him without his money—maybe if you could imagine him as a dog walker, wearing Kmart jeans and driving an old beat up car—all of your feelings for him disappear.