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After our recent post on things that women can get away with in public, we didn’t want the men to feel left out. Expected to be a little gruffer and louder, men can usually pull off these acts without being judged.
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Gawking
If a fine woman walks by a group of men, it’s expected that heads will turn. Each guy in the group considers it the right of the other to take a peek. But if a good looking man walks by a group of women, if any of them pause the conversation to gawk, the others will probably accuse her of not being a good listener, or being more interested in men than in friendship.
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Leaving the house in sweats
If you see a man running errands, or even grabbing lunch, in sweat pants, you think he’s just having a relaxed day. If you see a woman running around town in sweats, rumors will spread that she’s having an emotional breakdown.
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Wearing the same outfit twice in one week
Men get applauded for having seven completely different outfits, so they can easily repeat one in a week. If a woman wears the same outfit twice in one week, other women start to talk. And somebody probably offers a condescending, “Sweetie, we should go shopping together some time…”
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Skipping a shave
If men skip shaving a day or two, they get a sexay woodsy look. If a woman skips it, she’d better cover up or else she’ll quickly be deemed a tree hugger.
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Burping
A group of men throwing back some beers can let out their belches at full force, not even raising a hand to the mouth. It doesn’t make them gross—it just makes them men. If a woman belches freely, she must be the tomboy, or the wild one, of the group. In fact, she’s almost instantly considered not girlfriend material.
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Adjusting themselves
If, um, things are hanging a little too far to one side, men can reach down and adjust. And no itch down there goes unscratched. A woman can never touch her crotch region in public. She can’t even come close. An itch a few inches below the navel is even risky territory. People will probably begin to whisper rumors about a rash down there, or worse…
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Wearing a tight shirt with a belly
A man with a small beer belly can wear a tight fitted shirt, and it’s just cute (kinda-sorta). If a woman has anything other than washboard abs and wears a form-fitting shirt, someone will comment about how she needs to learn to dress for her body.
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Swearing
Nobody really notices when men swear. Even within the first five minutes of meeting a man, if he drops the F-bomb, it sort of blends in with all the other non-expletives in his sentence. If a woman swears, people notice. They just do.
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Peeing
It doesn’t go unnoticed—passer-byers definitely have to turn away—but men can drop trou just about anywhere if they really need to pee, and people just write it off as, “Well, he really needed to go.” So long as his back is to the public and his front is concealed, no harm done. A woman must never let on that she is peeing anywhere other than a toilet. When in a tight spot, we have to wander to the very back of an alley and hide behind three dumpsters.
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Eating like a glutton
A guy who takes down a rack of ribs all by himself is just a healthy eater. In fact, if he ate anything less than that in public, he’d probably be ridiculed as being on a diet—how feminine. But if a woman eats like that, onlookers say she is careless about her figure or nutrition.
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Getting aggressive
Road rage, or exchanging curses with someone rooting for a different team at a sports bar, is perfectly acceptable coming from men. If a woman releases the tiniest bit of aggression, she’s said to have “anger issues.”
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Flirtatious touching
A man can lightly tough the lower back of every woman he passes by in a bar, and it’s no big deal. But if a woman touches the lower back of just one man, all the other men assume she is spoken for.
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Take their shirts off
On a super hot day, at a backyard BBQ where there’s no pool and you’re forced to wear normal clothes, men can rip their shirts off. Women are forced to sweat it out.
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Get drunk
A man can get rip roaring drunk, act inappropriately, and have almost any behavior forgiven because, “Oh, he was just wasted.” The simple fact that a woman gets wasted has people suspecting she has a drinking problem.
