Butterflies in your stomach, heart flutters and the chemical reactions flooding your brain can only mean one thing: you’re in love. And some of those chemicals in your brain have been proven to cloud your judgment. Check out these tips that will help you navigate the waters.
1. Do not mingle finances
You may be tempted to add the new love of your life to your family plan, because you’re going to be together forever, right? Before opening that joint account consider that you both may have different financial styles. It’s much easier to interlace money and property than it is to dissect them. If you co-sign across that dotted line you may find yourself across a small claims courtroom.
2. Do not lose your sense of self
Remember all those activities you once enjoyed when you were single? Don’t abandon them now. In fact, your morning sun salutations, affinity for anything culinary and well-rounded personality are what attracted your partner in the first place. Maintain your individuality and continue to make time for the things that YOU enjoy.
3. Do not do all of the “doing”
So the site of the fine specimen that is now your significant other makes you want to make a breakfast that would make Aunt Jemima jealous. That’s fine as long as you aren’t the only one flipping pancakes every morning. A relationship is a partnership to which both parties equally contribute. Don’t set standards in the beginning that you don’t plan to maintain throughout the relationship.
4. Do not kiss and tell
Falling in love can sometimes make you feel like you want to scream to the world from the rooftops about your newfound affair. Before you broadcast the play by plays of your new connection, consider the fact that you just may be providing your peers with the fuel for jealousy and criticism. We all know that girl that tweets way too much about how great her man is; she’s annoying right?
5. Do not free all of the skeletons, just yet
You’ve reached a point where you are comfortable revealing your indiscretions and troubled past, but can you truly trust your partner to safeguard your secrets? Let your guard down slowly. Allow your partner to earn this privilege and let things unfold naturally. You can’t force intimacy.
6. Do not lose sight of your sexual worth
Whether you choose to have sex after the first night or the first year, this fact remains true: Sex complicates a relationship. With a sexual relationship comes a variety of responsibilities. Once you decide to make the relationship physical you have a right to know a portion of your partner’s sexual past and his/her STI status. It’s never an easy conversation but a necessary one. Be clear about your boundaries and understand that sex can connect you to a person for the better or for the worst.
7. Do not forget about your friends
You remember them, right? The one’s who would co-sign your disapproval on all those couples who swore the world stopped revolving whenever they were together. Don’t be that couple and don’t forget about those people who lifted you up when life let you down. Besides, your friends have the great ability to look at your situation through lenses that aren’t rose-colored and can tell you the truth that you might not be able to see as clearly.
8. Do not become a slave to your cell phone
While you were falling in love, a funny thing called life still occurred. Constantly texting or calling your new love throughout the day leads to very silent encounters when you two finally get to see each other. Continue to give your daily tasks the undivided attention they deserve and give your cell phone a break. Your thumbs will thank you in the end.
9. Do not have unrealistic expectations
Champagne, roses and candlelight are the makings of great music video, but not necessarily a new relationship. Creativity gets bonus points in my book when it comes to romance and everyone has a different way of expressing their feelings. Perfect is overrated anyway.
10. Do not hold your present responsible for your past
Maybe the last relationship left you shattered, but don’t hold your present partner responsible for putting your heart back together. When recovering from a failed relationship, it is important to reassess yourself and make amends with your past (Keep in mind I said your “past” not necessarily your ex.) No one wants to be blamed for someone else’s mistakes.
