Some great relationships are built to last while others are sweet only for the moment. The latter isn’t necessarily a bad thing…unless you or your partner were under the impression that you were in it for the long haul. As jarring as the demise of a relationship can be, chances are there were some things lacking that you should have noticed far before the final teary goodbye. Here are a few obvious (and not so obvious) signs that your relationship is built to last:
1) Better Together than Apart: You and your lover should genuinely enjoy each other’s company more often than not. That doesn’t mean that you never argue or tire of one another, but that you are typically happy to be in each other’s presence. If the sight of your boyfriend pulling up in the driveway still gives you a butterfly feeling long after you two became “official,” that’s a good sign of a lasting spark.
2) Friends and Family Are on Board: While your opinion ultimately matters most, when your mate gets across-the-board co-signs from your nearest and dearest, you can’t take that for granted. These people have your best interests in mind and have loved/known you longer. When your main folks like your main squeeze, your road to a long term love is made infinitely easier.
3) Fights Don’t Find You Fleeing: You ought to be able to work through dissent and get past fights without falling all the way apart. The way you and your lover treat each other during periods of anger says a lot. If you know how to disagree or even full out argue with your lover and then make up without having to always resign your feelings or desires, you could be working on a good thing.
4) You Fit All Around: Your boo should find a space seamlessly into your life- say, she supports you at your intramural games or has grown to love your favorite hobbies, without a lot of cajoling. If it takes a lot of work to blend your individual interests or obligations, be sure that you aren’t forcing a square peg into a round hole.
5) Communication Lines Are Open for Business: Another good sign that you are building something sturdy is the ability to speak clearly and freely. There should come a point where your baby gets what you mean, even when you don’t say it. The ability to read one another’s body language and other more subtle cues is invaluable.
6) You Make Good Love: Sex is important, duh. It can end an otherwise decent relationship and extend one that should have long since ceased. While finding a sexual rhythym as a couple may not be easy from jump, a lasting relationship requires that both parties are comitted to trying to find a physical connection. If he is content with the fact that you rarely climax or if he refuses to match your significantly higher libido at all, there may be some issues that exist outside the bedroom.
7) The Future Seems Likely: When you look at your life in a year, two years, ten years…do you see this person? Do they share some of your major goals for the future, such as childbearing or moving to a new town? If your situation feels temporary or unlikely to see the next Presidential race, it probably is. Also, do you want a long term relationship with this person? Don’t feel compelled to stick it out if it simply seems like a good idea. Shared goals and pleasant times are nice, but not hardly enough in the grand scheme of things.
8) You’re More Than a Lover: A hot sex life is great, but you and your mate had better be damn good friends if you want to be counting grey hairs together. Your partner should be one of the first people you want to turn to in times of good and bad: someone who makes you laugh, wipes your tears and can hold you down in even the darkest moments. Your BFFs aren’t being replaced, but they have someone else joining them on the team. Romance without friendship is doomed to fail, believe that.
9)You Prioritize the Movie, Not the Scene: As much as you may say you only have eyes for your baby, you still notice hotties on the train, in the club, at your job. As you should, it’s human! But if when you find yourself faced with the greatest temptation, you choose to focus on the bigger picture and the potential consequences of infidelty as opposed to the fleeting joy of someone new, you may be on the track to a nice, long love.
10) The Love Runs Deep: There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. When you are smitten, committed and fascinated…when their goals mean as much to you as your own…when it’s difficult to imagine life without this person…and when they become the standard by which all other men or women are judged, you just might have found the latter. And while love doesn’t always stay exciting and sometimes becomes good and comfy, like an old pair of socks, that deep, passionate “I need you” love can help you build the foundation for a long, lasting relationship that may out-live your youthful charms.
