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“Oh chick, you just tried it!?”
Ever muttered those words while zipping your friend in her wedding gown? After she acted like a full blown level 10 bi…ahem, bridezilla?
When the flowers have all passed away and the thank you cards are sent, you can begin to repair your relationship with the bridezilla. Here are a few tips to forgive the good girl gone bad.
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Give yourself some space
Conveniently turn your phone on “Do Not Disturb” for a few days or weeks. Go for walks. Lay your burden down at the front of the church. Do whatever you need to do to put some time and space between you and the bride. Like any situation when you feel wronged, you’ve got to wait to speak to the offender until you can do so in a calm manner. Besides, the bride is still riding the just married vibe and likely isn’t ready to have serious conversations either.
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Don’t expect an apology from her
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it apologize. Or something like that. Remember as you pour out your feelings to the bridezilla, she may not see anything wrong with her behavior. High stress situations make people feel as though anything and everything they do is justified. Go into the conversation knowing that the most you may get out of it is an eye roll.
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Don’t be petty. No revenge
So now it’s a year later and you are the bride! This is your special day, so don’t waste it being petty. I know you want to order your former bridezilla around to fetch you water and fan you during your make-up session. However, returning rude behavior with even more rude behavior isn’t going to make what happened to you go away. You may feel better in the moment, but do you really want to have everyone hate you too?
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Make sure it wasn’t just you
Maybe you took something the wrong way. Maybe that time she yelled at you was really out of love. Consult a good friend and ask the number one question, “Am I tripping?” When you want to forgive someone, it’s helpful to talk it out with someone else to make sure that you are viewing the situation correctly. Get some feedback on your behavior and the situation from a third-party. Note: this is not to be confused with just venting or gossip. Seek constructive feedback.
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Be willing to acknowledge what you might have done wrong
Forgiveness is a two-way street. Maybe the bridezilla was angered by something you did. Maybe you weren’t a great friend that day. Take a step back and see how you may have contributed to the situation and the results. Be willing to acknowledge that you weren’t perfect so that when you approach the bridezilla, you aren’t placing all the blame on her.
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Plan out the conversation
“You were acting like such a ….” is not a way to start the conversation. Take your time. Breathe. And even practice in the mirror. This is a delicate conversation and you don’t want to ruin the friendship by saying the wrong things. Thinking it through will help you forgive the bridezilla. After a few rehearsals, you may even decide the conversation is not worth having and to chalk this one up to a learning experience.
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Focus on the Good
Whether or not you decide to actually discuss the situation with the bridezilla, one way to start the forgiving process is to focus on the good. Check out the social media, the pre-released photographer pics, and share memories with friends. By focusing on the good of that day, you free your mind from dwelling on her hellish ways leading up to the wedding.
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Be willing to forgive
In order to forgive, you must first be WILLING to forgive. For your own sanity, let go of the grudge and learn to move on and be happy for her. The longer you hold on to what the bridezilla did in that moment, the more damage you do to your relationship. Let go of the past and move on with your friendship.
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Bridezillas happen. It’s part of life and you are guaranteed to run across one or two. It’s tough to deal with a yelling, flower waving, mad woman in a long flowing gown. It’s even tougher to forgive her out of pocket behavior on that special day. But it’s possible!
Do you have experience forgiving a bridezilla? What worked best?
