Come Sit on Mama Lap! Signs You Might Be a Sugar Mama - Page 9

Often times, when we hear the term “sugar mama,” we think of a well-to-do woman in her 40’s, successful in her own right, and probably a “cougar.” While typically women of means who are lonely and looking for companionship have no problem acquiring a boy toy that they can pay to come and go as she pleases, there are situations where a man could be using a woman for her money and she’s none the wiser. Not all sugar mamas are cougars who copped a few stacks in a divorce settlement or widows who were left a ton of cash. Some sugar mamas are average women who feel they need to pay for a man’s love and affection. Not sure he’s using you as his meal ticket? Look out for these signs…and keep your money in the bank!

1. He Asks How Much You Make

Women aren’t the only ones who are curious to know what a man does, how much he makes and what kind of car he drives. If a man outright asks you about your job, your finances and what material things you possess, watch out – he’s staking your assets to see if you have what he wants…and can get. If he was smooth, he’d simply get you interested in him so that you’d willingly share this information…eventually. But if you find that on your first date he takes an interest in your jewelry or asks inappropriate questions regarding your financial status, run the other way…after you make him pay for dinner.

2. He Pays for Little Things

Like I said, if he’s a smooth gold digger, he’ll treat you on your dates in the beginning so that you don’t catch on that he’s after you for your loot. He’ll pay for dinners at low to moderately priced restaurants, movies, ice cream – you know, kid stuff. But then you tell him you want to go stay at a swank new hotel, go on an amazing vacation or dine at the hottest 5 star restaurant and he allows you to pay for those because it’s not in his budget. Pretty soon, you find that you’re paying for all of your dates because it was your idea to go to these places when he’s content simply staying at home cuddling…in your crib. If you discover that he’s fallen off and no longer treats you – hell, he doesn’t even offer to go Dutch – then you fell for the okie doke.

3. He Has Champagne Taste But a Beer Budget

Funny how most men who only like the best can rarely afford it. That goes for women too, so I’m not trying to make gold digging gender specific. But if you find that your new guy seems to only want to go to fancy restaurants, wear expensive clothes and turns up his nose at anything on sale, but never pays, then consider this a red flag. He may want to go shopping with you so that you can see what he likes, watch him try on a killer outfit, then listen to him lament about how he can’t afford it even though it looks great on him. Next thing you know you’re treating him to said outfit and he can say you bought him a gift as opposed to him outright asking you for it. If you want to see if he wants you or your money, leave your wallet at home the next time you go to the mall and see how he acts. If he pouts, bounce him!

4. He Is Always Asking You For Money

I guess the obvious way to tell if a man is using you for your money is if he simply asks you for it. Constantly. He seems to always need money for gas, a haircut, the meter, whatever…he is always broke. A real man will hate having to ask a woman for money and will bust his A$$ trying to get two or three jobs so that he doesn’t have to rely on his woman to pay his way. But if he has no problem spending your money and proudly asks for it, you’re better off being single.

5. He Always Has Financial Troubles

If you can’t ask your man how his day was without him complaining about money every chance he gets, he’s trying to gain your sympathy…and stick you for your paper. Most men with a little bit of pride will not tell you about their financial woes because they don’t want you to perceive them as being a shiftless, trifling man who is irresponsible; they’d rather hide their financial troubles than burden you with them. But if a man willingly shares his money problems with you – which are never his fault mind you – then keep your spidey senses up. He wants you to feel sorry for him because he can’t find a job or has to pay sooo much in child support so that you offer to “help” him until he gets on his feet. Here’s a word of advice: don’t be an enabler. Tell him to get his ish together and come find you when he’s got more than a couple of dollars in his pocket.

6. You Try to Buy His Love

Some women do this subconsciously because they feel they are not worthy of a man’s love – so they try to show a guy how much they love him by showering him with gifts, paying his rent or taking care of him financially. While a man who is truly into you won’t accept your exorbitant gifts and will insist on taking care of himself, a man who is using you for money will use it as leverage and make you feel guilty if you don’t share your money with him. He’ll say things like “if you loved me, you’d buy me this” or “help me out” – and because your low self-esteem can’t see past his bull, you do it because you feel that is the only way you’ll gain his affection.  It may be cliché, but love don’t cost a thing…so if you feel his love is contingent on your spending your hard earned dough, then leave him alone and go see a therapist.

7. You Pay For Sex

This is just wrong, but you’d be surprised how many women will pay for the company of a well-endowed man who has mastered his long stroke. I think this is where some cougars might enter the picture because they’re at the height of their sexual peak and they’re simply looking for a man-toy to satisfy them and be out. Older gentlemen might not be able to keep up and they may actually want to “talk” and whatnot. By paying for a night out that ends in hot sex, a woman can tell her young stud to leave – or stay – and he’ll be obliged since she’s compensating him lovely. If you’re cool with this, then rock out. But sex should be free…just saying.

9. Trust Your Gut

Nine times out of ten, if you feel you’re being used and taken for a ride, you’re probably right. Most men pride themselves on being able to take care of their woman, not the other way around, so it’s not hard to spot a man who has no problem mooching off of women for a living. Paying attention to the previous clues will only confirm what your God given female instincts are telling you. So instead of buying love or rescuing a man, keep your cash in your purse and find a man who can not only take care of himself, but who has no problem pampering you every now and again as well.