OPINION: Black Feminism Makes Some Women Act Like Men

Our lives as Black women are very different from those of Whites, Asians, Latinas, etc. Thus, our basis for femininity is destined to be different also. Nonetheless, we have to find the balance to be strong yet (in the non-head bowing or walk five steps behind him, Biblical sense) submissive and independent but vulnerable. Too strong is abrasive and too independent is cold. Neither are desirable qualities in a woman nor do they embody the gentleness and delicacy as defined by femininity.

It’s OK to let our guards down. We don’t always have to be so “strong.” It’s OK to allow (and expect) a chivalrous man to do things for you, even if you are fully capable of doing them yourself. It is not our responsibility to make up for where men lack. We don’t need to run the men in our relationships.

Oppression has caused us to become callous creatures, misappropriating strength and independence as defense mechanisms. It’s hard to be a good teammate (or partner) if the lady in you is hidden behind a protective shell. We are physically and innately different from men, something to be embraced. The world often sees the straight-faced, attitude-wearing Black woman with a chip on her shoulder, shaped by past circumstances rather than current stature; but, we are just as happy, friendly, kind and gentle as any other group of women and it is time we allowed that femininity to show. It would not only improve our relationships with Black men but also offset demonizing perceptions.

We may be 20 years ahead in vigor and perseverance, but we have some catching up to do with the basics of femininity.