People love to talk about how Michelle Obama saw President Barack Obama’s potential when he was just a “lowly” community organizer in Chicago with no money and a gigantic hole in the floor of his car. But dude was also a Harvard Law grad with a plan and pretty clear goals. Here are five ways to tell if your guy is a future president or Ray Ray.
I remember this one time…
When your beau starts waxing poetic about accomplishments, does he have to go waaaaaay back? I put it on everything, I was seeing this tall beautiful man who would always talk about how his middle school guidance counselor suggested that he take the advanced level courses for eighth grade because he was very intelligent. This man was 28 years old! Oh and he did not take the advanced level courses. He was fine, but clearly had not done anything noteworthy in his life for the past 15 years or so. If your man can’t talk present tense or at least very recent past about things he’s accomplished, he doesn’t have potential, he just has issues.
That’s my car!
Remember when you were little and you would play a game of That’s My Car? Basically, you would try to be the first among your friends to point to the baddest, most expensive car you could spot zooming past you. You probably had lofty ideas about what it would be like when you were grown. You’d have a mansion and three Rottweilers, a yacht, a husband and three perfectly groomed, well-behaved kids. You didn’t have a plan for all of that, but you just knew that was in your future and that was fine because you were like eight. But when a 30-year-old man espouses similar dreams, but is oh so far from that and has no concrete plan to get to it? Nah, son. Gone on ahead and pass him by.
Writing his name on the orange juice.
Lots of college graduates live with their parents these days. It’s not necessarily a ridiculous thing, unless it is the only living situation in ol’ boy’s immediate future. If your homie lover friend is writing his name on the orange juice and complaining about Mama picking up the phone when he’s trying to use it, you might want to politely decline another date. Real mean don’t want to be under anybody’s thumb, even their mothers. So, a man who is truly just stacking his chips until he can make the next move will have a solid plan in hand and do his best in his current and oh so temporary situation. In fact, most grown men who are staying with their mothers on a temporary basis would not even indulge in initiating a long-term relationship. If he’s staying with his mama and he still hits you up, most likely you are a booty call or he is a true blue mama’s boy. That my dear, is not a man with potential, just a man with a dollar and a dream.
Follow Through
Has your man been on and off in community college for the past six years? Has he been meaning to register to vote but hasn’t gotten around to it? Yeah, no. It’s not an elitist thing either or about needing a man with a college degree or a certain pedigree, but just being with a man who finishes what he starts. Actions speak a heck of a lot louder than words. A man who does what he says he will do is quite Hot.
The Kids
After a certain age, you have to expect that most of the potential mates in your age range may have children already. A man who is a real (not with the mother) father not only pays child support, but provides emotional support to his children and is a driving force in their lives. If a man does not take care of a human being who is a little bit of him, I promise you he will not make a good mate. If he doesn’t take care of his seed, he will not look after you in the long haul. If you’re open to dating men with kids, make sure he’s a good daddy.
