All them creepy fangs, Frankensteins, and Eddie Long look-alikes roaming the streets might scare you half to death this Halloween season. But, before you start getting high and mighty about other people’s ghoulishness and foolishness, we thought we might point out the scariness in your very own backyard. Hmmm-mmmmMMmmm. Here are 13 REALLY scary signs that yo’ lil toddler-male might be a pimp shawty!
SIGN #1
The little girls at daycare don’t know how to count to 10 yet, but they ALL know how to dial his number!
SIGN #2
He likes to occasionally pimp slap his stuffed animals.
SIGN #3
He looks oh so cute in the purple jacket with the yellow fury hat.
SIGN #4
He has 24-inch rims on his big wheel.
SIGN #5
Whenever he speaks, it’s in riddles or rhymes.
SIGN #6
He goes to KFC and repeatedly asks for extra breasts.
SIGN #7
He has more money than his parents.
SIGN #8
He has platform baby shoes with gold fish in the soles.
SIGN #9
His favorite holiday is Christmas because he gets to repeatedly say the words “ho ho ho.”
SIGN #10
Although his first word was “mama,” he was speaking to a girl at his school.
SIGN #11 When he’s looking for your female puppies, he likes to say, “where my Beyotches?!”
(Note to potentially bad parents–because there are some of you trifes out there: hopefully, your son isn’t really using the “b-word”…for real).
SIGN #12 Whenever male teachers try to fail him, he simply hooks them up on a date with his mom and, by golly, he’s an “A” student!!!
(YOUR SON: “Hi, mommy!”
MOM: “Hi, Tyrone, honey? Why is Mr. Flanigan on our doorstep on a Saturday night? Holding flowers?!?!”)
SIGN #13 You send him to school with his hair blown out, and he comes back with seven cornrows, courtesy of Lil Tanesha.
BONUS: SIGN #14
He’s kind of like the super-adorable little boy in the video above. 😉
