Gossip, Betrayal and Lies: Are Women Really Meaner To Each Other Than Men Are?

September 13, 2012  |  

In the latest “Oprah’s Lifeclass” episode, Oprah and her new gal pal Iyanla Vanzant discussed all the horrific and terrible things that women do to each other, including betraying each other, lying, gossiping and being competitive.

According to Vanzant, self-hate, the need for validation, unrealistic demands and poor social conditioning, among other things, are the reasons why women tend to betray other women. Oprah agreed and then reached into her mystical bag of intuitive light bulb moments, which I’m sure is some mumbo-jumbo she probably swiped from The Secret, and told us that truly successful people want other people around them to be empowered. Ah, Oprah and her enigmatic laws of attraction. I don’t know about that considering that our entire capitalistic, consumer based system is entirely operated on empowering ourselves at the expense of those countries in the third world – but that’s another post for another day and time.

Anyway, Oprah, who felt that women were the number one perpetrators of gossip, added this bit of insight: “If a person will betray you by gossip they will betray you in any other way if they had the opportunity.”

First off, can we all agree that Vanzant, whose show will premiere sometime next week, is going to single handily save Oprah’s network? Even Oprah acknowledged as much during the episode when she said that Vanzant was one of her biggest supporters, which I think is actually code for ratings generator.  I’m not a huge fan of Vanzant, which I wrote extensively before about, but I have to give her credit for knowing how to work the shenanigans we normally see on television into a bunch of random clichés disguised as self help.

I can’t wait to watch.

But back to the issue at hand, ladies, are we truly meaner than men?

It’s no secret that when it comes to building friendships, I tend to lean more to the male persuasion, however I was intrigued by this topic. And you might think because of my previous post that my answer is a flat out yes, women are meaner than men. I will acknowledge that the greatest pains and frustrations in my life have been mostly generated by women. And I will also admit that for me, friendships between women are more difficult to navigate than the ones I have with men. Men are just easier.

For instance, I haven’t spoken to one of my male friends for a good two months, despite his numerous attempts to reach me by telephone. I bet a million virtual dollars that if I was to pick up the phone and call him, he might inquire about my absence but ultimately he will shrug it off and go on to the next topic. No way in hell would that fly with a woman. I’d probably be bombarded by expressions about how my absence hurt her feelings. At this point in my life, I’m just not interested in that.

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