Love Wars: Is Fighting Ever a GOOD Thing For a Relationship?
Focus on a Solution, Not Who is Right
A fight can only end when a solution is found, so identify the problem and move towards a resolution. Sometimes people are only interested in winning the argument, not in finding a solution to the problem – which usually leads to fighting over the same thing repeatedly. Identify the problem by giving specifics rather than making sweeping statements like “you always ignore me” or “you never consider how I feel.” Ask direct questions, and look for points of agreement where you can make concessions so that neither of you feel attacked. Ask for suggestions to a resolution or where you can make compromises. This shows that you’re willing to try to make your relationship work, not interested in keeping score. Love is not a competition, it’s compromise.
