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Up until two days ago, I tried my best to keep from watching Vh1’s “Love And Hip Hop Atlanta.” I knew it was going to be a ratchet mess and frankly I can’t take too much more of black women embarrassing themselves on television when we have so few positive images anyway. But, at the downright prodding of my sister, I finally decided to see what all the fuss was about while I was on vacation. After one episode, I was hooked. Whether I “like” them or they make my skin crawl, all of the characters are so entertaining. But one of the cast members and her quick-witted catch phrases, caught my attention. And that would be K. Michelle. Though, I don’t always agree with the way she handles her altercations, I have to admit the girl can turn a phrase. Surely, you’ve noticed. And if you haven’t, check out some of her catchier ones on the following pages.

“Bring it down because my head’ll start spinning and I’ll chop you in your trachea!”

Now, if you ask me this whole altercation with Karlie Redd was blown way out of proportion. Sure she was wrong for trying to sell herself to K. Michelle’s manager at her own showcase (tacky), but K. Michelle could have easily ignored that or at least confronted Karlie in a less confrontational way. She started hurling shade before the woman could even take a seat. But regardless of whether she was right or wrong, homegirl was hilarious in this spat! When she said she was going to chop her in her trachea. I about died. Who thinks of threats like that?

“Don’t shake unless you’re ready to get shook.”

After declaring, “This b**ch is shakin’ da table.” K. Michelle issued a warning to the viewing audience. If you’re not ready for a battle, don’t initiate anything. This is just a reformed version of “Don’t start none, won’t be none.”

“I didn’t hit her, I threw a fork at her. She looked like a cooked bird anyway.”

K. Michelle would not, could not let poor Karlie Redd catch a break. Even after she assaulted her. There’s really nothing more I can say about this line. It stands alone. But you should definitely check out the video on the next page because seeing the text and hearing the words come from her mouth are two totally different things.

“The Memphis come out but the LA curls stay in.

After security ushered K. Michelle away from Karlie and into the bathroom, she was chatting away, almost fuming at Karlie’s allegations that she’d been sleeping around in the industry. She popped off but not to the point where she couldn’t take the time to admire the fact that her weave stayed in place through it all.

“I don’t care if you dribble a ball, or you play with your balls.”

When it comes to men, clearly K. Michelle doesn’t have the best judgment. After all, she said she goes for dudes with gold teeth. Huh? Her ex boyfriend from college tried to tell her that she’s looking for the wrong type of dude. To which she replied, she didn’t have a particular type. But she didn’t say that straight out. She put a very…colorful spin on it.

“Beyotch, you don’t even have a Wikipedia page!”

Now, in this instance I have to side with Karlie. She really did try to come at K. Michelle maturely. But she just couldn’t keep her mouth closed long enough to hear it. From the second she stepped in the door, she started talking about Karlie’s lumpy booty, her lack of online presence and her greenness in the game. She ended the unproductive encounter with a snarky, insincere compliment: “I like your pink dress.” Lol

This is just a short list, as K. Michelle has a lot to say. What are some of the other comical quotes you’ve heard from her over the past few episodes?

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