Every year, millions of couples around the country say the blessed words, “I do.” Unfortunately, within 5 years, approximately 20 percent of these first marriages dissolve into separation or divorce. Within 10 years, the probability of these first marriages ending increases to nearly 40 percent. Thus, one can see that the days of long and sustainable marriages have significantly diminished. There are many complex factors that are responsible for the alarming rate of divorces in our current time and space, but in almost every case, the foundation is extremely weak. So, before you say ‘I Do’, it is highly recommended that you ask your prospective spouse the following questions to avoid future frustrations and disappointments…
Do you do the “God” or spirituality thing? This is the foremost question that women should ask their man. Relationship and marriage problems can always be traced back to spiritual disharmony or the lack of spirituality. If you and your partner are both committed to improving yourselves spiritually, then it is extremely likely that you will have a long-lasting marriage that is filled with peace, joy and happiness. Also, according to a study published in the August issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, “Couples who pray together really do stay together- especially African-American couples.” Prayer is effective, and it brings necessary results. Without it, it will be awfully difficult for your marriage to last. It is the foundation of every endeavor in a marriage.
Do you really love yourself? In many cases, people simply don’t love themselves anymore. Their minds are consistently centered on their imperfections, past actions and hurtful words that have been spoken over their lives. Hence, their hearts are filled with guilt, pain and sorrow instead of love. If your prospective spouse’s heart is not filled with love, then they cannot love you- it’s impossible.
Do you really love me? A very basic but profound question. Do you love me because of good looks, money, lust, success, etc.? Many people are in marriages that are devoid of a genuine love. Every day, they limp along and the difficult cycle lingers until the couple reaches a breaking point. When thoroughly analyzed, love never existed.
Are you interested in having children? For some couples, this is very important. Your prospective spouse may not want kids, when you actually do. This can present a lot of friction and conflict. If you prospective spouse says, “No, I’m good. Kids are too bad.” You will know that it will not prove prudent to move ahead with your relationship.
How do you feel about work? It is essential to discover your prospective spouse’s attitude toward work. If your man is lazy, he will ultimately bring financial hardships within the context of your marriage. Your prospective spouse should be motivated to be diligent, industrious and productive.
Do you have friends who will hold you accountable? Does your prospective spouse have a circle of spiritually mature friends who will hold him accountable and encourage him relative to marriage? Honest accountability plays a significant role in keeping marriages on the straight and narrow road.
What are your thoughts about money? Money is one of the leading causes of frustration in marriages. What is your prospective spouse’s attitude toward money? Does he wisely spend money and invest in safe retirement vehicles? Does he have a lot of debt that can adversely affect your future marriage? One of the best ways to ensure that you have a long-lasting marriage is to avoid constant financial pressure.
How do your family and friends feel about our relationship? Parents, family and close friends may see character flaws in you and/or your prospective spouse that you do not see. It is wise to consider their doubts and warnings before proceeding with a lifelong commitment.
Is divorce a ready option for you? If you prospective spouse is interested in a pre-nuptial agreement and has mentioned that divorce will always be a ready option, then he is likely not interested in the type of commitment that is necessary for a long and sustainable marriage.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anthony Jerrod
Bestselling Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach and Public Policy Expert
“Creating A Sustainable World, One Day At A Time”
http://www.anthonyjerrod.com
