Love (or like) is an over-powering feeling. When you fall for someone, you fall fast, and it’s all you can think about. It’s all you can talk about. Everything reminds you of the person. You get ahead of yourself, thinking about dates you’ll take them on, trips you’ll take together, and long nights of passion. With that in mind, you really can’t like someone, and say any of the below things and mean them. Neither can a guy.
I’m still heartbroken
He might be, but a man knows what he wants and he knows that the last thing to tell a girl he’s fallen for, is that he just broke up with someone. Guys are smarter than that. If he’s hurting, but he likes you, he’s not going to tell you about his recent heartbreak. So, if he does pull this line, he is using it to his disadvantage (in terms of getting you to like him.) In other words, he is using it to his advantage.
I’m just not looking for a relationship right now
Single life is the best. He’s a one man show. He doesn’t need anybody. Yada, yada, yada. A guy can shout about his love affair with the single life all he wants but, the louder anyone shouts about that, you can bet the deeper their actual desire is for somebody is. Everybody is looking for a relationship. Are you going to tell me that if someone you were madly in love with and who you got perfectly along with walked into your life, you’d say, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now?” BULLShyte. And same goes for a guy. Whether he believes it or not, if he actually liked you, he’d be dating you.
I’m just so busy
Humans simply aren’t this masochistic. Even the busiest person makes sure to slip fun and pleasure in somewhere. It is not in our nature to just avoid something that makes us extremely happy. We are biologically programmed to seek happiness (it’s true…we have that pleasure center that lights up whenever we do something enjoyable for a reason). So, if a man liked you, he’d find time for you. He’d make time for you. It’s in his genes to do so.
I’m just not a relationship person
Similar to the “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” excuse, but different because this guy is saying he will never want a relationship. And if he says this, you can bet he got burnt. But, again, our drive for pleasure is stronger than our fear of pain. Even a man who’d been cheated on a dozen times couldn’t walk away from a girl he felt gaga for. So, if he pulls this line on you, than clearly his anticipation of being happy with you, is smaller than his fear of being hurt. Translation: he doesn’t like you much.
I’m busy with x,y and z but what about two weeks from tomorrow?
Maybe it wouldn’t make perfect sense for him to bring you to his office party, his friend’s birthday or whatever. But, come on: when you like someone, you want them with you everywhere! You don’t feel they are a burden to bring along. You feel they enhance the fun. If a guy likes you, he doesn’t find reasons you shouldn’t accompany him places. He looks for reasons why you should come along!
Let’s take it slow
Disagree if you will but, I think you either like someone or you don’t. And that means you either want them around, or you don’t. There is no such thing as building feelings at a rate you’re comfortable with. They are either there, and you have to deal with that and accept that. Or they’re not there. If a guy wants to take it slow, that means he wants to like you because on theory you seem good, but he just hasn’t fallen. And he won’t.
I’ve had so much on my mind
Like I said in the intro, love is an over-powering feeling that dominates your thoughts. If a man has forgotten to call you, make a date with you or return your text because he’s had “so much on his mind” that means he considers you just one more responsibility! You know that when you like someone, they distract you from everything else going on in your life. And you consider it a joy to just sit and think about them, not a chore.
I’m focused on my career
It’s all fine and dandy for his career to be an important part of his life, but it shouldn’t be his reason for putting you to the side.
I want to have sex with you
If he says this by the first or second date, you should consider yourself to be out of the potential-wife zone. Guys know how to talk to someone they’re taking seriously vs. someone they’re just trying to establish a sexual relationship with.