Down Low: Signs Your Man Might Be Gay Or Bisexual

Viral dating coach Anwar White is back with more dating advice, and this one is sure to raise some eyebrows. Can you tell if the man you’re currently dating is gay or on the down low?

White first spoke on the topic in a TikTok video posted to his account on March 28, but the clip has recently picked up steam again across the platform, generating over 30,000 shares.

According to White, who is gay, DL (down-low) men are some of the most “dangerous” men to date because they are “narcissists,” people who have an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. And that obviously can’t be good for a relationship.

Still, White believes there are telltale signs women can look for to determine if they’re dating someone who is secretly gay. However, he warns, they must pay close attention because these men can be difficult to spot, and the signs can vary depending on their race, ethnicity, and personality.

The first sign, White says, appears if a woman is dating a Black man who constantly talks about “butts,”— yes, you read that right.

“If he’s Black and he’s always talking about ‘Butt, butt, but, but, butt, butt, but, but, but, but,’ girl, he is Beavis and Butt-Head. He doesn’t care who is attached to that butt. He just wants it,” White said flat out.

RELATED CONTENT: ​​Doechii Calls ‘Straight Men’ Her Biggest Dating Red Flag — And Heterosexual Men’s Heads Explode

The next sign, according to White, is whether a man hates or really loves his mother.

“If he has extreme feelings about his mother, so either he really hates her or he really loves her, that is representative of how he is going to feel about women, and oftentimes it’s not healthy, and so he’s probably DL.”

According to White, DL men are more present within certain cultural backgrounds and are associated with some unique personality traits.

White continued to break down his theory, saying that certain personality traits and behaviors — often influenced by cultural background — can also reveal down low tendencies. Now, all of this advice should be taken with a grain of salt, but here’s what he had to say about down low tendencies for white, Hispanic, and East Asian men:

“Now, if he’s Hispanic and he’s an alcoholic and he hates his dad or his dad hates him, he’s probably DL. If he is white and he’s an alcoholic and probably has a beer and hangs out with his boys more than his girlfriend, he’s probably DL. If there is a guy that is East Asian, he’s probably Uber competitive with women. He is mean to women, and he was probably chubby when he was a kid because he was trying to eat the gay away. So check out for that.”

He also shared a few tips to spot down low tendencies in celebrity men.

“If he is a celebrity and he’s changed his name multiple times, he’s probably DL. He literally doesn’t know his identity, and he’s running away from his true identity. If he is a professional athlete, oftentimes he’s probably going to be the loner on the team or the guy that’s the biggest cheerleader. That’s why a lot of those guys become coaches. And there’s a lot of gay coaches in professional sports.”

White didn’t stop there. The relationship guru claimed that pastors, ex-convicts, former military personnel, and men with multiple children are more likely to be DL, too. 

“If he is a pastor and he does a lot of one-on-one mentoring sessions with younger men, he’s probably DL. But also, these kinds of guys — if he was in prison for more than three years, ask any security guard, prison guard. Girl, he’s DL. It’s like long COVID. You’re always gonna have it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. If he’s in the military, especially the Navy — that’s where the gay guys go. Girl, 100 men go out to sea. Girl, you come back with 50 couples. They are literally on a honeymoon and on a cruise, sleeping on top of each other. DL, okay.”

He added:

“If you have more than four kids with multiple women, he is probably DL. If he is either Indian or Middle Eastern and he is trying to control what you’re wearing, he’s trying to play Barbies with you, he’s DL. If he is very rough intimately, he is hate F-ing you because he hates himself and he hates women.”

And finally, this next one about Nigerian and Ghanaian men is quite bizarre — but here’s White’s take: he believes some men within the culture might be DL because of their boarding school experiences.

“Now, if he is Nigerian or Ghanaian, if he went to boarding school, he is probably DL because he had his first sexual experience with a boy. Or most of the DL men that are African have girlfriends or wives, but they either ignore them or neglect them and are very mean to them. So you see them in public, you wouldn’t even know that they’re together, because that’s how much he resents his wife.”

White concluded:

“Okay, so those are the signs that I see for men that are on the DL. Let me know if you have other signs. And again, take this as like an 80/20 rule. All of these signs are DL signs, but in these groups, you see it more often. And I’m sharing this with you because, again, I want you to be safe. DL men are narcissists.”

TikTok users flocked to the comments section, with many surprisingly agreeing with White’s theory.

“As a gay man, this is 1000% correct,” wrote one male user.

One woman penned, “It’s scary how many DL men are out there and we have no idea.”

In a follow-up video, White claimed there were three categories of down low men.

White later followed up on the topic in a video shared to his Instagram on Oct. 4, where he broke down his theory about the three classifications of DL men.

According to the dating coach, there are DL men who “live a straight lifestyle” because of “cultural or societal pressure and shame and guilt.” But these men tend to be their true selves “in secret,” he explained.

He also identified “bisexual men that are interested in men and women,” and described another group he calls “straight gay” men, those who “really like men” but don’t “like to engage in sexual activity with men.”

What do you think of Anwar White’s recent videos? Thoughts?

RELATED CONTENT: Adidas Trashed Over Male-Presenting Model In Women’s Swimsuit Ad For Pride Month Collection