Consider why they are phubbing
Here are a few more thoughtful ways to encourage your loved ones to put their phones down. In a 2019 article, Screenagers writer Delaney Ruston suggested that it’s respectful—and often helpful—to first consider why someone might be reaching for their phone during a conversation. Are they dealing with something urgent? Is it an emergency, or are they simply distracted? The best way to find out is to ask.
You could say something like, “You seem really busy—should we find another time to hang out when you’re less distracted?”
That simple question can prompt the other person to recognize their behavior and often results in them apologizing and putting their phone away.
Another example is, “It would be great to have your attention. I know many others want it right now too. What are your thoughts?”
This question gives them the chance to explain why their attention is diverted.
Another gentle prompt is, “Is everything OK?”
This approach leaves room for the possibility of an emergency, while subtly signaling that their attention has shifted. It might feel slightly confrontational, Twenge noted, but it’s far more constructive than snapping at someone to “get off their phone.”
It’s respectful, but also signals that you’re in need of their attention and that you want them to put their device away.
Will you be trying some of these helpful techniques the next time you spot someone phubbing?
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