Tami Roman hopped on the “I’m a Black Mother” TikTok trend and enumerated issues Black mothers face.
The TikTok video was posted to the platform on New Year’s Eve, with Roman looking comfortable in a bonnet and mustard tracksuit.
“I’m a Black mother, of course I’mma say turn these damn lights out! You don’t pay no bills in this motherfucker,” Roman, 53, exclaimed. “I’m a Black mother! Of course, I say, ‘I brought you in this world, I’ll take your Black ass out.”
The ex-Basketball Wives star continued, mentioning the well-known McDonald’s complaint. “I’m a Black mother. When you get in the car, don’t ask me for no damn McDonald’s. Of course, I’mma say we got McDonald’s at home.”
“I’m a Black mother. Of course, I’mma say, you cold? Put your robe on. You hot? Take the robe the fuck off,” she said. “I’m a Black mother. Of course, I will beat your ass and then apologize by saying, ‘You need something from 7/11?'”
Roman confirmed she was a mother who didn’t want to hear a peep when her kids got in the car to head to the store. And like many Black moms, she didn’t want to hear one child ask for anything.
“I’m a Black mother. Of course, I’ve had to rob Peter to pay Paul, work three jobs, sometimes fight for everything I got because I am the most undervalued, disrespected, unprotected species on the planet,” the 53-year-old actress concluded.
Generation after generation, Black moms have uttered the sayings Roman mentioned, and even more, like:
“I’m not one of your little friends,”
“I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“Do I look like booboo the fool?”
“Hard head makes a soft behind.”
“I hope you know that school work– like you know them songs.”
“You smell like outside,” and
“Stop running in and out of my house.”
Black moms’ strict parenting habits may be seen as a bit excessive, but they had to be in a world that wasn’t easy on Black people.
With Black motherhood comes a heavy responsibility to protect, love, teach and provide for their children. But it’s different from other moms because generations of Black mothers know the injustices and the negative perceptions that wait for their children outside their house doors. So, they must ensure we know respect (“yes, ma’am” and “yes, sir”), proper public decorum (“act like you got some sense”), and discipline.
We may laugh at their sayings, but it got us right.
And how are they thanked? By subjecting them to broader pay gaps than other women, by allowing doctors to underestimate them when they express pain (when years of statistics show they’re at higher risk of maternal mortality), and by having them experience workplace harassment three times more than white, non-Hispanic women.
Like Malcolm X said, “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”
