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Relationship expert Kenyon Martin made an appearance on Patrice Washington’s YouTube show, The Redefining Wealth Podcast. 

Joined by his wife, Taccara Martin, on June 15, 2023, Kenyon gave a searing hot take on the topic of submission when Washington asked why it was hard to find a man who has “a vision” and goals in today’s current dating market. For the podcaster, both qualities are needed for her to submit to a potential suitor. 

According to Kenyon, today’s men have trouble leading in marriages and relationships. When those men encounter “strong women” who have clear goals and a vision, their insecurities begin to show.  

“A man who can’t lead will always be aggravated by someone who doesn’t just kowtow to him just because he is a man,” the award-winning writer and author explained in a video shared to Instagram Nov. 15, 2023.

Kenyon urged for men who lack leadership to asses themselves and do the inner work to uncover why they may have trouble finding a submissive partner. 

“Why is she not submitting to me? What is she submitting to? Let’s start asking questions,” he continued. “Are you leading? Where are you leading? What are you leading? What is your mission statement for yourself? Not that you have to have one, but where do you see yourself going at? What is your mission statement as a husband? What is your job?”

The Christian counselor asserted that many men of today’s society are too focused on being “God” instead of “sacrificing themselves” to provide and protect their wives and relationships. According to Kenyon, men “must do all of the work first” in order to create a healthy environment for submission and to maintain a happy marriage or relationship. Kenyon mentioned earlier in the podcast, that women only submit to “safe places.” Men need to prove they’re worthy.

“The man does all the work first. That’s what leaders do. Leaders take the most arrows in the back,” he added. “Leaders trail blaze. Leaders go first. And so, if you want something, your woman, you show her. You exemplify that. You let her follow you.”


Reactions to Kenyon’s deep thoughts on submission flooded Instagram.

A clip of Kenyon’s thoughts on submission was shared to the Von_Tuff Instagram page Nov. 15, 2023 – and netizens flooded the comments section with reactions to the relationship guru’s hot take. 

One female user said she would not submit to a man she couldn’t “trust.”

“When a man has proven that he lacks direction, just allowing life to happen to him, there’s no plan, no goal. I can’t relinquish responsibility for the decision-making of my household to a man that lacks the basic fundamentals of leadership,” she added.

Another female netizen penned that it was crucial for men to heal their broken “egos” on their path to unlocking the leader within.

“We as women aren’t following a fool that has no real plan for his own life and that is broken emotionally. Sooo, follow you where? If you don’t have a plan, I’ll keep following my own plan!!” she added. 

Men in the comments section offered a different perspective to Kenyon’s thoughts on submission. 

One male user argued that it was hard to lead when many women in today’s society are “resistant”  to men with goals and vision due to their past relationships and childhood trauma. 

“Women misinterpret direction with dictatorship when you have already proven yourself as a man with a plan and means to execute it,” the brother explained.

Underneath the user’s comment, another male Instagrammer claimed that some “women have never had a leader so they don’t know how to follow or don’t understand what leadership looks like.” He said he had trouble finding a submissive partner due to the issue.

Kenyon and Taccara unpacked all of these thoughts during their full appearance on The Redefining Wealth Podcast. The duo sat down with Patrice Washington to tackle marriage, relationships and how couples with different love languages can redefine what showing up for each other looks like as they heal from past trauma.

Check out the full episode of Washington’s Redefining Wealth Podcast with the couple below.

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