Kirk and Tammy Franklin are taking their relationship to reality television by guiding two single hopefuls looking to find a love like theirs. The married couple of 27 years are showcasing their matchmaking skills in TV One’s new dating show, The One.
MADAMENOIRE spoke exclusively to Gospel music’s First Family about their journey creating The One and how viewers of all backgrounds can learn about love along the ride. And despite being what many would call #ChristianCoupleGoals, the Franklins explain why they reject that label. Kirk and Tammy are all about keeping it real while keeping their integrity at the forefront of their image with each other and the public.
Together, they are a united force still inspiring millions through music and now branching out to ‘hooking people up.’
As The One debuts May 18, The Franklins explain to MN why we must deconstruct the romanticized image of marriage, how Christians can still host a non-religious dating show, and share the latest about a new album from the 19-time Grammy winner’s decades-long career.
I want to start with what’s both of your favorite quotes about marriage. It can be one you’ve realized yourself along the way or one that’s kept you here after all this time.
K: Mine has been marriage is an earthly expression of a heavenly reality. Marriage is when you live out on earth what God lives out in heaven for us, his faithfulness, his friendship, his kindness, his grace. But at the same time, I’m very cautious not to let marriage be the sum total.
T: I’ve learned that marriage is definitely a mirror going back at you, teaching you about yourself.
As a couple in the public eye, I’m sure that comes with a different stack of challenges. How do you manage that? In a world where social media scrutiny seems adamant about dissecting and breaking couples down, how do you stay focused and grounded on each other?
T: Personally, it’s not getting caught up in all that, the social media part. This marriage, and marriage in general, should be real life. There’s real life happening, and you can’t stay caught up in the fantasy of what you think it is. I remember someone saying, ‘Oh, you know, we don’t have any conflicts.’ And I was like, ‘Eh.’ Someone’s not being real. Because you can have both, you can have conflict and complete love and joy for each other. That’s what doing life together is. It’s not where everyone is tiptoeing around each other and free of conflict. We’re very big on therapy and trying to be proactive as much as we can to get ahead of something. But also, too, to recognize that life is going to happen. Being committed and deciding to go through the journey, the process, together. A lot of times, you hear, “Oh, we changed.’ And that is true. You do change, and I am not the same person I was when I married at 25. Neither is Kirk. But the goal is to change and grow together, even as the seasons come. What are the skill sets that we are going to implement for us now so that we can continue to move forward together?
K: I think it’s very important to deconstruct these fantasized images about relationships; I don’t think they do people a service. It’s the romanticization and idealization of the big wedding with the flowers, you meet your one, and the music plays like everything is a big TV show. If we continue normalizing that, we will always have these conversations about what’s wrong. Even right now, there are people right now having a hard time with me and Tammy hosting a dating show that’s not a Christian show. We have these images of what we want people to be. It’s almost like because, in our personal lives, we’re not living up to these images. We put pressure on other people to live up to the lives that we can’t. And I just refuse to sign up for that job.
What was the process for that? I also noticed that this won’t be a Christian-centered dating show, considering when we think of prominent Christian couples in the media, we look to you two. We are inspired by the Franklins.
K: We understand the sentiment [regarding looking to them as #ChristianMarriageGoals]. But I think if you are looking for something Christian, you should probably look to the Guy that made it. Look at that guy. That’s when you are going to get what you need. But the problem is that looking at Him is a lot harder. Looking at us is easier.
T: Looking at us is tangible. You can see me and Kirk. I speak for both of us in that we just want to do something that feels right for us. Coming alongside, coaching a couple, you know, it’s something that felt organic and right. Whether it was Christian or not was not necessarily a question for us. Now, is it going to have integrity, and is it going to have specific components that we want to be aligned and attached to? That’s going to be important for us, and we’re going to bring who Kirk and Tammy are into any setting. And there are times within the show we do that. Whether or not it was a Christian dating show was not important to us.
What sparked the idea to create this show? You guys were unofficial matchmakers who wanted to take their talents to the TV screen. Have you had some successful love matches before?
K: My creative partners and I were pitching many ideas to the network. In my own personal life, I love ‘hooking people up.’ I love connecting dots.
T: Kirk doesn’t even get paid for it, but he loves it. We’ve had three marriages happen.
Not only did you two merge into one, but also had to merge your families to become The Franklins. Many couples today are trying to navigate that today, will this show address that concern with some of its prospects?
K: This show is a more entertaining, aspirational type of programming. It’s about you following the personal journeys of these people and the drama which happens when people go through these types of public processes. We want you to pull up with your popcorn and just be able to enjoy the ride. And when you’re finished, you turn out that new Kirk Franklin single that just dropped. [Smiles.]
I was just about to ask you about that! We love “All Things,” and we’re so curious about what’s next with the song. When can we expect even more new music? The people are waiting for the album to drop.
K: So, first off, shoutout to Tammy Franklin. For me talking about relationships, she’s so supportive. Because I work really, really hard, it’s like I’m a workaholic; I’m a perfectionist. I’m Diddy ‘Can’t stop, won’t stop.’ [Laughs.] So, I appreciate Tammy giving me the space to be the mad scientist that I am. You know, when I’m working a record, I don’t cut my hair, I don’t shave. I look like somebody who just crawled up under a rock because I’m in it. So, I pray to have a new album out in September.
So what made you want to start with “All Things.” And what is it indicative of regarding your future music to come?
K: You know, you never know. That’s not my strength, knowing what song should come first. This song just happened to wake me up in my sleep back in February. Sometimes I just try to follow the invisible hand of God. This was the song I played for my team, and they said we think we may need to try to go with that one. I had some random ideas on my phone, and they wanted me to finish that one out. I got the Exodus Music Festival on May 20 and 21, with the biggest names in gospel music joining me out in Irving, Texas.
Since we’re speaking on Gospel, we all know the religious belief of finding a ” equally yoked partner.” What does that mean to you, and will that play out in the show?
K: Some of these Judeo-Christian principles that we talk about, we see people who have those principles who end up getting divorced. You see people that are agnostic or maybe met at the strip club that has been married for the last 60, 70, 80, or even 96 years. That’s a long time. I think that it has to do more with the compass of the heart than trying to maintain these principles. You can have the principles, but it doesn’t mean that the principles have you. There are some people that can have those principles and are not even aware of it. I think that it is crucial for there not to be this elitist approach for people of faith, that when they partake in anything, whether its relationship or spiritual, they’ve got the end-all answers because we’re still failing and struggling in ourselves and our own humanity.
T: Equally yoked to me, in a biblical sense, is when you align with the same faith. But I think it can encompass many different things within a relationship, such as how we feel about finances? Faith is important because once you have children, then that raises a whole different dynamic. For me, I think of it not just from a faith standpoint, but do our ideals line up. And when the ideals line up, it doesn’t mean that you are going to be without conflict, but it does help to navigate where you’re going. But ideal doesn’t mean the same. Kirk Franklin here is way more conservative than I am in some ways, and vice versa. Our ideals should line up so that amid conflict or a situation that arises, it helps guide and give a compass.
What has been your key to success in a happy marriage? What’s one myth regarding a successful marriage that you want to dispel?
K: That there’s a perfect marriage. And once you get over that, then you can start living.
And the tradeoffs that come with marriage are never a simple compromise. How do you make sure each other, as well as yourselves, remain fulfilled in your marriage, especially when one’s career demands a lot of time and effort?
K: My fulfillment is always in seeing Tammy Franklin win. I get fulfilled in watching her do what she’s called to do. And I think she feels the same way, watching me.
T: Nuh-uh. [Laughs.] I think any, or most wives, would say is the support to your husband, as well as your children, is definitely fulfilling.
As you guys are going to be mentors to the bachelor and bachelorette on the show. What are both of you individually bringing to them, how are you guiding them?
T: For me, I’m just doing what I do in real life. I’m typically the counselor, the mentor within my friend group. My fam bam, composed of the family such as my daughter and my sister, said, ‘You’re going to get to do what you do all the time with our Tammy meeting.’
What was the selection process for picking your bachelor and bachelorette, Brent and Ashley? Brent is “giving” very grown but very sexy, and we love a salt-n-pepper-haired man. How did you guys decide on the age range for your main contestants, will it play an issue on the show? Most dating shows are really geared towards mid-to-late 20s to a sprinkle of early 40s, yet you are broadening that range here.
K: It was a nuanced relationship with everyone we had involved. Tammy did a great job in her navigation in that process. So we’re very happy about that outcome, we think people will be excited about it, and it will be fun.
T: Age doesn’t necessarily play an issue. I know for myself it did make the show appealing. You have people who have lived some life. And that it wasn’t just this young perspective of dating. I’ve even seen some comments that are refreshing for them.
There are a million dating shows out there. How will The One be the one to stand out?
K: [Slyly.] Because they don’t have Kirk and Tammy Franklin. Nor do they have a new single out around it.
To witness Tammy and Kirk Franklin in their on-screen matchmaking debut, The One premieres on TV One this Thursday, May 18, at 9/8 c. Kirk’s latest single, “All Things,” is available to stream now.
