In the very beginning, new relationships can be exciting and take us on a roller coaster ride. For some, the more tumultuous the twists and turns, the more intrigued we become – mistaking dysfunction for a “normal” relationship. While not all unhealthy relationships involve physical abuse, it’s important to recognize when a partnership no longer makes us feel good about ourselves.
Here are some warning signs to look for to help you get out of a bad situation before you find yourself dangerously in love…
A bad temper
Does your mate have a short fuse and fly off the handle at the slightest incident? Many men who lose their temper easily find themselves getting physical with people or into altercations with complete strangers, and will eventually aim his anger toward you. Sometimes, women mistake this negative energy as passion, and feel that it is a sign that he truly cares, when in reality he’s just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
Jealousy is never Hot, on anyone. And if your man feels that you were a little “too friendly” towards the waiter, things can get very uncomfortable very quickly. If your partner tries to isolate you from your friends, your family and the rest of the outside world, chances are his insecurities will lead you to feel trapped and resentful. Constantly feeling like you have to defend yourself or give in to jealous tantrums is a sure sign that there is no trust – and where there is no trust, there is no relationship.
He tries to control you
No one wants to be bossed around, especially not by someone who is supposed to be your equal in a relationship. Your mate shouldn’t feel the need to tell you what to do, who to speak to, how to behave, where you can or cannot go or who you can associate with. If he must know where you are, where you’re going and who you’re with at all times, he probably can’t be trusted himself.
Probably the most obvious warning sign is if your partner is physically abusive towards you. Love is never supposed to hurt, and raising a hand to someone in anger is never okay. If your mate pushes, shoves, slaps or punches you – for any reason – run in the other direction, call the police and report the abuse and never look back. Once it starts, it won’t stop unless you leave – and it’ll never get better, only worse. Many have lost their lives believing that their man will change.
Words sting with the same power as a punch, and can wear you down to the point where you feel worthless. If your mate intimidates you, threatens you, insults you or embarrasses you in private or public, it’s time to get out of the relationship to preserve your self esteem and emotional sanity. Your mate is supposed to love and uplift you, not shoot you down or make you feel fearful or small in his presence.
He or she abuses drugs or alcohol
Most physical or verbal outbursts are fueled by drug or alcohol abuse, so if you’re involved with an addict of any kind, it may be time to back away from the relationship while they seek rehabilitation. Some people do things they wouldn’t normally do while under the influence, but that is no excuse to stay if they can’t control their behavior. Some men and women feel guilty if they “abandon” a partner fighting drug or alcohol addiction, but enabling their behavior will only make it worse. Leave for your own safety while they seek help elsewhere. Their sobriety is not your responsibility, especially if your well being is at stake.