Chrissy Teigen knows all too well what it feels like to be canceled and the cookbook author recently reflected on her trending mishaps in an Instagram post on Wednesday, July 14.
Teigen took to the social media platform to share her thoughts on her decade-old dispute with model Courtney Stodden, where she apparently DM’d her to go “kill herself.” The incident happened when both stars were only 16, but it appears the 35-year-old TV host still feels some regret.
“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life,” Teigen began her lengthy post. “Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. “
“But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer,” she continued. “I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay.”
10 years ago Stodden was slammed by the public and social media after news surfaced that the model, who was young at the time was married to 50-year-old actor Doug Hutchison. Teigen was among the critics who taunted Stodden for their relationship.
Teigen did try to reach out to Stodden back in May to apologize and she even issued a long Twitter statement detailing how sorry she was for the damaging DM.
“I have tried to connect with Courtney privately but since I publicly fueled all this, I want to also publicly apologize. I’m so sorry, Courtney. I hope you can heal now knowing how deeply sorry I am,” Teigen tweeted at the time.
The former Sports Illustrated model admitted that despite all the backlash over the years, she’s still “not used to” the online scrutiny.
“! Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously, you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow,” continued Teigen.
This isn’t the first time that Teigen’s been canceled either. Back in 2011, the Cooking Channel host caught flack for a since-deleted tweet she aimed at Lindsay Lohan commenting on the actress’s issues with mental health.
The tweet allegedly read: “Lindsay adds a few more slits to her wrists when she sees Emma Stone.”
In 2013, Chrissy went into troll mode with a mean tweet aimed at Teen Mom reality TV star Farrah Abraham following her infamous sex tape.
Her tweet read: “Farrah Abraham now thinks she’s pregnant from her sex tape. “In other news, you’re a wh**e” and everyone hates you, whoops not other news, sorry.”
Now it looks like Teigen is trying to turn a new leaf. The wife of singer John Legend concluded her Insta post saying that she’s committed to changing her keyboard warrior ways in the near future but for now, “I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day,” she explained.
“I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent sh*t anymore! If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u,” she ended.
What do you think? Does Chrissy’s apology seem sincere? Was it even an apology?