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There are a lot of things that look much better on the big screen than they do in real life, like layers and layers of makeup or the sidewalks of New York City. With the right lighting and a little stage-setting, these things that can look jarring up close look so lovely in movies. You know what else looks good in cinema but comes off a little weird in real life? Some of the grand romantic gestures you’ve seen in some of the most iconic films. There are some romantic gestures that have become so popular as the climactic ending to a movie, that you see them repeated again and again in the genre. When you see them, you might even say, “I wish somebody would do that for me.” But, when you’re saying that, you’re watching a hot movie star in a totally contrived scenario doing that gesture.
Zoom out and consider if someone did one of these to you, or someone you knew, in real life, and you’d probably be a bit creeped out. When it’s in the movies, we allow for shortened timelines, unlikely scenarios, and the idea that someone’s mind could be completely changed about something major (like who they marry), all because of one gesture. But we know that in real life we (hopefully) have a better grip on our hearts and heads, and know that someone who messed up over and over again couldn’t win us over with one moment. Plus, some gestures are just…awkward. Here are movie grand gestures that would be uncomfortable in real life.
Crashing the wedding
There isn’t enough room on this page to list all of the films in which the guy finally wins the woman by crashing her wedding ceremony, storming through the chapel doors, or standing up when the minister gives the, “If anyone has any objections to this union, speak now” bit. And he gives a compelling and heartfelt speech about why she should choose him instead of the other guy. Right then and there, she abandons the altar and runs off into the sunset with this guy. In real life, first of all, security/five groomsmen would have tackled and pummeled this guy before he could get four words out. Furthermore, how truly messed up is that outcome? Hopefully, anyone standing under an altar feels so undeniably certain about the decision they’re about to make that one speech from someone else wouldn’t change their mind. Plus, talk about taking no time between relationships. Leaving a literal wedding ceremony for a new committed relationship? Screams a bit of serial monogamist.
Stopping them at the airport
In “The Wedding Singer,” this gesture gets as far as the actual flight, where Adam Sandler serenades Drew Barrymore on the plane, while she’s en-route to elope with another guy. Please refer to the last slide for how very problematic it is to jump relationships like that. But, beyond that, stopping someone from getting onto a plane, or joining them on the plane, is a very common movie ending. Can we back up for a moment and talk about how incredibly expensive it is to buy a plane ticket for a flight that’s leaving…now-ish? That would literally bankrupt some individuals. And what about the one who is being chased. They’re supposed to abandon the flight they paid so much for? Just logistically speaking, it would have made so much more sense if this big, life-changing speech had been made before someone put down their credit card for this non-stop flight to Hawaii with Delta Airlines.
Grabbing the mic
Whether it’s at a concert, comedy show, or karaoke night, you can count on many movies ending with somebody fighting their way onto the stage, stealing the mic directly from a performer’s hand, and giving some long speech to win back/ win over their love interest. The entire audience swoons and starts cheering, prompting the recipient of this speech to get on stage and kiss the speech-giver. Everyone is into it, including the performer who just had a mic ripped from their hands. In reality, security would have pulled this person off the stage immediately and everyone would have boo’d because they didn’t pay $50 admission to see some stranger try to win back somebody who dumped them. They paid to see a Rolling Stones cover band.
Involving the parents
I can attest to the fact that this doesn’t work out in real life because a guy tried this with me. We’ll get to that in a moment. But so often in movies, after a woman dumps a guy, that guy shows up at her parents’ home, giving them a whole speech about how he and their daughter are soul mates and how there were terrible misunderstandings and they have to help him get her back. And then they do. They stage some sort of intervention, have the daughter over, surprise her with the fact the guy is there. Force her to hear him out. This…is not what happens in real life. A guy tried this with my dad and my dad said (as he damn well should have), “My daughter knows what’s best for her. If she decided this relationship wasn’t working, that’s that. This isn’t my place. Best of luck out there man.” Most parents trust their children’s judgment enough to not let some ex weasel his way back in, through them.
Sneaking into someone’s work
The scene in “Love Actually” where Jamie proposes to Aurelia at the restaurant she works at, comes to mind. They don’t speak the same language and have never had an actual conversation. They knew each other for, like, three weeks. But all of that is beside the point (though, also very problematic). This often happens in movies when a guy either interrupts someone’s work day to give a grand speech in front of everyone, or even convinces the receptionist to let him hide in the woman’s office and wait to surprise her. These are places of business. They don’t care if some man is certain that some woman who he A) barely knows or B) recently dumped him believes that woman is the love of his life. They can handle that after business hours. If a receptionist let some strange man into my office to surprise me, I’d consider having them fired. Even if I did know the guy. There have to be security protocols in place.
Steal your girl with flashcards
“Love Actually” swoops in again with another very problematic scenario that would leave most people creeped out/offended. Andrew Lincoln’s character, who has been secretly in love with his best friend’s recent bride, shows up at their home with a set of large flashcards to display to the bride, just letting her know he’s pined after her for years quietly, and probably always will. And she likes it. In real life, if a man in any way professed his love to his best friend’s wife, that’d be so wrong. That’s not okay. And she would not respect him for it – she’s berate him for it. And she certainly wouldn’t be flattered that a man watched and admired her for years. She’d be terrified. And she definitely wouldn’t just not mention it to her husband. She’d tell him right away, and he’d beat his friend’s *ss. Rightfully so.
A secret portrait
You know how in some movies, a secret admirer will draw incredible portraits of someone they’re in love with? And then that person will find the portraits, and be so in awe of the talent, and fall in love with the artist? Yeah…in real life, if you found out someone had been drawing you without your knowledge/consent, you’d probably put out a restraining order on them. What are the odds someone who secretly draws somebody for years is in the correct mental/emotional headspace to be in a healthy relationship? Just food for thought. Also, most individuals pulled off the street who drew a portrait of anyone probably would not be talented. That portrait would be an affront to one’s self-esteem.
A breakup for the better
Do you remember in “The Notebook” when Noah dumps Allie because she gets into Sarah Lawrence and he wants to make sure she goes, so she can have a career? And then five years later they’re still in love? First off, probably something like 1000 percent of high school couples who break up saying they’ll “find each other again” go on to sleep with/date 20 other people in college and forget all about their high school love. So there’s that. But then, also, Noah wrote Allie letters for a year that she did not respond to (as far as he knew) and he persisted in building her a house. He built a house for a woman he hadn’t heard from in years, who did not ask for this house. It’s all so romantic in the movie but in real life, if you were Allie, you’d be off having the time of your life in college, experimenting with your sexuality. And you’d be a bit creeped out to hear your high school love was building you a house, when you hadn’t spoken…in years.
