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secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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Maintaining a private relationship is what many of us aspire towards. Secret relationships are a different story. Sadly, many people fall for the Okie Doke and end up playing the role of the hidden lover while trying to comply with their partner’s desire to have a so-called private relationship. If you’ve been wondering if your partner’s adamance about maintaining a low profile has less to do with privacy and more to do with hiding you and your relationship, look no further. Here are ten tell-tale signs that your relationship is a secret.

You haven’t met his/her family

Meeting the parents is a big step in a relationship, so it’s not surprising that people typically wait a few months to introduce a new partner to their family. However, it should raise a red flag when you are more than a year into a relationship and have never met your partner’s relatives.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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You haven’t met his/her friends

Similar to the family situation, if you’ve never met your partner’s friends, neighbors, or acquaintances, there’s a strong possibility that your partner is working overtime to keep your relationship under wraps. It could be that there is someone else in the picture or it could be that there is some other dark aspect of their lives that they want to hide from you.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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Loved ones don’t know you exist

It’s one thing when your partner’s family or friends know of you on some level even though they’ve never met you, but it’s a whole different story when these people don’t even know that you exist at all. If your partner has taken the time to talk about their family to you but they’ve never made mention of you to their family, you’re definitely a secret and you should be concerned.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she won’t let you post them online

There are some people who are anti-social media. They don’t have profiles and they hate for people to post them — including their significant others. However, there are others who are very active, public profiles, and take no issue with their relatives or friends posting their pictures online. If the only time your partner seems to want to maintain a low profile is when you want to post your “usies” online, cut your losses, and just focus on yourself.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she discourages you from telling people about your relationship

Some people are more private than others, but when your partner goes to painstaking lengths to discourage you from discussing your relationship with the people who are the closest to you, that’s a pretty major red flag. No one wants their business in the street, but no normal person is going to pressure their partner to hide their relationship from loved ones.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she carries themselves as a single person on social media

Not everyone is comfortable with publicizing their relationship on social media, which is completely understandable, but there’s a big difference between not publicizing your partner on social media and pretending as though you don’t have one at all. If your partner’s photos, interactions, statuses, and memes and comparable to that of a single person, you should definitely be concerned.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she finds excuses not to take pictures together

Most people who take issue with posing for pictures with their partner are up to no good. The best-case scenario is that they are still trying to play the field and don’t want to run the risk of being exposed for having a significant other. The worst-case scenario is that you are the other woman and they don’t want to take a chance of those pictures getting back to their wife and family.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she never wants to go out in public

Many people are homebodies and prefer to spend quality time with their partners in the privacy of their homes. That said, even homebodies push themselves and plan dates that don’t include a sofa and streaming service from time to time. If you are never seen in public with your partner, you’re a secret.

secret relationship vs. private relationship, relationship is a secret

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He/she discourages you from changing your relationship status

Linking your partner’s Facebook profile to yours by way of the relationship status feature can be a bit much — even for people who are married. But it should definitely raise some questions if your partner is opposed to you updating your status altogether.

Afro couple using smartphone on the street

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He/she never answers the phone in your presence

Is your partner always sending calls to voicemail when they’re in your presence? Do they keep their phone on silent at all times? There’s a big chance that they’re hiding something. It’s quite clear that they either don’t want you to know anything about the people behind the calls that are coming in and they don’t want the people on the phone to overhear you in the background either.