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There will come a time in every adult woman’s life when she’ll have to end a friendship. It may come as a result of a massive betrayal or it may be that she simply realizes that this relationship is no longer conducive to her mental or emotional health. Regardless of the reason, ending a friendship is not always easy. However, “The best course of action is to end it in a way that avoids hostility and the enlistment of other friends,” explained Dr. Peg O’Connor for Psychology Today.

Many have been conditioned to believe that these transitions have to be negative, dramatic or catty; however, when mature, confident women are involved, the conclusion of friendship looks quite the opposite.

Avoid subliminal messages

It can be highly tempting to take subliminal shots at an ex-friend on the internet or during conversations within your shared friend circles, but a grown woman recognizes that this is neither necessary or productive. It feeds an immediate need to get back at the person and may feel good for the moment, but recognize that anything you need to say to your former friend is best said privately and directly.

If you feel it’s necessary, have an honest conversation

Some friendships will naturally fade to black on their own and other times, a formal conversation is necessary. Depending on the length of the friendship and the reason that it is ending, some women may see the need for an official conversation that marks the end of the relationship. You may also find it necessary to get some things off of your chest. Don’t use this conversation as a vehicle to be nasty or get indignant with your ex-friend. Instead, be firm, speak your piece, and move on.

Resist the urge to hit below the belt

Relationships are emotional and emotions can get messy. Still, that’s no excuse to get out of character. A grown woman realizes that she has nothing to gain from hurting a person she once cared about — even when that person chooses to get out of pocket. It’s tempting to use sensitive information that this person previously shared with you as ammunition against them, but it’s a much better idea to hold your tongue and take the high road. Removing yourself from her life is a loud enough gesture. There really isn’t a need to say anything else.

Don’t take this as an opportunity to put her business in the street

In the spirit of taking the high road and not using sensitive information as ammunition, the end of a friendship is also not an opportunity to put your ex-friend’s business in the street. It’s easy to reveal things they have previously shared with you in confidence when you’re upset and venting, but this is still an immature thing to do. This type of conduct also raises the question of whether or not you were truly friends in the first place.

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