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Countless studies have found that women don’t negotiate as much as men do. I’m guilty of not stepping up my game in that arena, either. But, honestly, after several increases in cost of living recently I just had to put my foot down and begin negotiating more. I negotiate from a need to survive financially, while men, well, they seem to just do it as a matter of practice. “There’s always money on the table,” my dad tells me. For some reason, when someone gives me a figure—a bill I owe or an amount I’ll be paid—I assume that’s set in stone. Set in stone…by whom? Literally the person I’m talking to, most likely.
I have to remember that when somebody presents me with a figure, that isn’t the law. That’s just the number that is ideal for that person. It’s the most profitable. It’s their dream situation. But, you know what? Maybe their dream situation isn’t mine—in fact, maybe it’s far from it. We’re both entitled to stating our demands and listing our needs. Why shouldn’t we be? Why would the person in front of me—the mechanic, boss, dermatologist—be more entitled to trying to reach the best financial situation for himself than I am? He isn’t. We both have some power here. I just think it’s important for women to remember that.
There is another thing at play though: my need to be agreeable. I’m afraid someone will find me difficult or unpleasant if I negotiate. But, really, anybody who sees me that way, all for trying to fulfill my own needs, is not someone whose respect I need anyways. And when the deal is over, I may never see that person again, so what I want more than their favorable opinion of me, is a favorable financial outcome. On that note, here are times women should negotiate more.
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Rent
Love a place but can’t quite cover the rent? That listed rent price isn’t set in stone. Naturally, if the landlord or leasing company has other offers on the table, it kind of is but if they don’t or they only have equal offers, you can negotiate. Maybe you offer to sign a three-year lease if they lower the rent a bit. Or, maybe you offer to pay your rent in two monthly installments rather than just one, so they get money more frequently.
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General landlord disputes
Anytime something goes wrong with your place, your landlord will likely try to get you to pay for some of it, if not all of it. He’ll try to blame you. But don’t forget to look over your lease—look at the fine print and make sure you never pay for anything that falls under normal wear and tear. If it somehow is your fault, but fixing it will mean bringing in a much nicer system or materials that will increase the value of the unit, you can negotiate so the landlord pays for half, since he ultimately gets the most value out of this.
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An increase in rent
You don’t have to roll over and accept every rent increase sent your way. Always remember that your landlord would probably rather keep you, at a lower rent, than have you leave, leaving the unit empty (aka not making money) until a new tenant moves in. You can also point out issues with the apartment you haven’t complained about, as leverage.
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Car lease
Car dealerships take advantage of women so much. No matter what number they tell you at first—even if it seems good—know that it’s a bad one. They’ll base payments off the Manufacturer’s Recommended Sale Price, but you can ask them to drop that figure. Ask them to knock money off the down payment. Don’t be afraid to walk away. They want to make this deal.
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Car repairs
Auto body shops will likely walk all over you if you’re a woman too—or just about anybody. Do your research any time they suggest some expensive thing you need done. Don’t feel bad about pulling up Google, right there, on your smartphone, and saying you’d like to look into it. They may panic and realize you’re about to discover it’s BS, and immediately cut you a huge discount.
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Initial salary
If you’ve received an offer to start a new job, remember that that offer is just that—an offer. So, think of it like a suggestion or an idea. You are not obligated to accept that very offer. There’s always more money they can give you. Keep in mind, too, that they don’t want to go back into interviewing candidates. They like you. You have wiggle room to ask for more.
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Raise
If you’ve been working somewhere for a while, first off, remember that you can ask for a raise. If you hear a no right away—or they are very hesitant—don’t immediately back down. Again, they do not want to go into the interviewing process. They don’t want to replace you. They just need to hear your argument as to why you should get a raise.
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An outlandish dental bill
Any sort of medical professional will always make you feel like you must do whatever they’re suggesting. We grow up believing they only have our best interest at heart, and no personal agendas. But the truth is that a dentist is still a businessperson and will try to upsell you on things you don’t need. And if you absolutely must have the thing, you can talk them down. You’d be surprised how effective it is to say, “If I pay you $800 today instead of $1,500 in 90 days, will you take that?”
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Silly fees
Look at every single statement from your bank, credit card company, car insurance company, Internet company, phone company—anybody you hand money to—and check for unexpected fees. Call. Ask what they’re for. And decide if they’re necessary (they usually aren’t).
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Car insurance claim
It’s tough when you submit a claim to your car insurance company and they deny it, especially when the terms of the policy surrounding that specific issue are vague and so easily manipulated. Perhaps you can agree to a multi-year contract with them if they pay the claim. Or, you can threaten to leave for another company. Another tactic is offering to pay the following year’s premium all up front, rather than in monthly installments, if they’ll cover this bill for you.
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An increase in premiums
It’s frustrating when insurance companies raise their premiums. You feel so stuck in a corner because you need insurance, and you don’t wan to go researching new companies. But always do keep in mind that most companies want to keep your business. They don’t expect anyone to kick up a fuss. So kick one up. Shop around, compare prices, show them a company offering you a better deal, and get them to lower that premium back down.
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New responsibilities at work
If you’re given more responsibilities at work, that’s fine so long as you’re compensated for them. Bosses will often try to be sneaky and slowly add responsibilities to your job that were not a part of your original job description. But if your responsibilities increase, so too should your payment. If they can’t increase pay, maybe they can give you more vacation days or flexible hours.
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Paying a handyman
A handyman will usually try to get as much money out of you as possible. And, hey, he has to make an income. You may not be able to talk him down on his daily rate but make the most of the day. Don’t hire a handyman for the day unless you have a day’s worth of things for him to do. Always ask what his rate will be upfront, and if it seems high, ask him to lower it—he probably will, so long as he has no other incoming business that day.
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Hotel charges
Resort fees. Convenience fees. A clean set of towels. Water bottles. Valet parking. Hotels will try to get you for everything. But you can fight them on this. Promise to write them a stellar Yelp review if they wave the parking fee. If you have any sort of social media following, offer to promote the hotel if they cut that resort fee in half. Maybe they’ll wave the cost of the water bottles and mini bar food you ate if you pay with cash instead of card.
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Difficult colleagues
This is more of a social negotiation, rather than a financial one. If you can’t stand a coworker, do not pick a fight. Do not lose your temper. You’ll only be more in the hole, so to speak. If this colleague is less-than-stable, she’ll probably look to make your life even worse if you pick a fight. At the very least, you don’t look favorable to your boss by fighting with colleagues. Even though it sucks to make a deal with someone who feels like the Devil, just ask what you can do for this colleague to make her be more agreeable.
