Red Flags We Love To Ignore

January 15, 2020  |  
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dating red flags in a man

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Why do we ignore red flags? How do we ignore red flags? They’re bright and waving around in a frantic motion. And we just…pretend not to see them? Maybe we tell ourselves they are just disfigured hearts, ushering you in, saying, “Come on, it’s safe over here!” Then, when things begin to feel unnerving—when issues begin to pop up in the relationship—you take a closer look at the quirky hearts that drew you in and say, “Oh sh*t! These were red flags all along. And they’re everywhere.” All this time, you thought you were surrounded by love, and you were actually surrounded by bad signs.


You can’t blame someone for being hopeful—for wanting something to work out. That is only human. Besides, are we to walk away from a new relationship every time the tiniest thing goes wrong? There has to be some leniency, right? Some compromise? If we’re militant about bouncing at the first possible sign of trouble, how is any relationship meant to get off the ground? And we certainly hope that when we show our true colors—including those that aren’t that pretty—that someone wouldn’t bail on us right away. We hope they’d give us a chance to explain ourselves, or give us the benefit of the doubt.


It is important to discern between little things you can let slide and huge red flags that show you just who someone is, and just what’s in store for you if you continue down a path of a relationship with him. Some incidents and behaviors are just a taste of what’s to come, and will only get worse, the deeper you get into this commitment. But still, many of us just keep walking right by those terrible omens, wanting to see a silver lining that isn’t there. Here are red flags you love to ignore.



He is actively in therapy

He tells you he sees a therapist three times a week. You interpret that to mean, “Aw, he’s in touch with his feelings. He’s comfortable talking about his emotions. He’s willing to work on himself. That’s healthy!” But um…if someone is in therapy multiple times a week, it is likely because they have so much personal work to do that they’re not ready to be in a relationship.

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