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After breaking the news to everyone back in August that she and estranged husband Jamie were separating, to the shock of their millions of fans on YouTube, Australian online personality Nikki Perkins is now updating fans on how life has been for her and her daughters post-split.

The model, mom and older sister of fellow model Duckie Thot did a video from her new home, telling fans she moved out of the house she and Jamie shared and has been giving herself a fresh start.

“If you don’t know, Jamie and I have separated. I moved out of the house about three months ago,” she said. “Those of you who are like mad confused right now, I totally get it. It kind of looked like all of this was sudden; but in reality, things were not good for a very long time and I knew that within myself and I think it came across on camera as well.”

Nikki said she was not a good actor and couldn’t hide her emotions as things in their relationship got worse because they show on her face. She believes if people look closely, they could probably tell looking back at more recent videos the former couple shot together that something wasn’t right with them. Those close to them, friends and family, knew things were off.

For the record, she is ready to divorce Jamie and is only “separated” because of the law in their country.

“In Australia, divorce works differently. I think in other countries you can file for divorce straight away, but in Australia, you have to be separated for at least a year before you can even file for divorce,” she said. “That’s the only reason I use the term ‘separated.’ But if it were different, I would have been divorced yesterday.”

She was initially concerned about how her young daughters would handle the split, but so far, being around her family and seeing their mother in a happier place has helped them somewhat in this tough transition.

“As far as Ava and Zoe, you know, they surprise me every single day with their strength. They are what keep me going,” she said. “Seeing them transition into this new phase, this is not something that is easy for kids. Ava’s a really intelligent girl. I know she’s only three, but she’s very in tune with her feelings and she can sense when something’s not right. In saying that, I thought this change would be a lot harder on her, but she’s actually been relatively happy.”

“The energy is just so different over here and my kids can sense that I’m happier and mommy is more relaxed,” she added. “Even though this is not a ‘happy’ thing, it’s definitely a better thing because mommy is happier.”

She’s also moved content to her own YouTube channel, which she’s calling Simply Nikki. There will be decor videos and likely more beauty vlogs as well. But if you’re expecting her to be posting with the consistency that she and Jamie were doing as a couple, which was multiple times a week, that’s not what she has planned for herself or her kids.

“I just don’t want to do that thing where vlogging takes up all of our time anymore,” she said. “I want to spend a lot more one-on-one time with them off-camera. I did that before but you know, I just want to take my time with it.”

Nikki says that moving forward without Jamie hasn’t been easy because she was with him for a good portion of her young adult life. However, she’s done what’s best for herself and looks forward to where life will take her now.

“It’s not an easy thing to go through,” she said. “We were married for six years. That’s a big chunk out of your life. That’s pretty much all my twenties [laughs] were spent in this relationship so it’s not something that I’m going to say, ‘I’m just totally over it and I’m living my best life and everything’s amazing!’ I’m in a happier place mentally so that’s good but there’s still that hurt there because for me, it was very much real. But that’s life and we’ve got to move on.”

“I think that it’s going to be amazing,” she said of her new journey. “I feel it in me. Like I can feel that things are going to be amazing for me and my girls and I’m just so excited to see what the future’s going to bring for us.”

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