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The entire concept of the fixer-upper has always bothered me. You see it a lot in popular shows—a woman swoops up a real mess of a man, all excited to change his look, boost his confidence, move him towards his goals, and fix him up. Maybe he’s got hotness potential but doesn’t know how to dress or cut his hair. Maybe he’s a genius who doesn’t know how to apply himself. Maybe he’s very charming and just needs to stop using his wiles on being a con artist and instead use them on legitimate business. I’ve seen it all. And, when we see it in a movie, the fixing goes according to schedule. The guy somehow transforms in a matter of weeks. He is forever grateful to the woman who helped him. They fall madly in love and walk off into the sunset together. But that’s not how it goes in real life. Here’s why you actually shouldn’t date a “fixer upper.”
He doesn’t know that’s what he is
Most adults presume that if someone takes an interest in them, it’s because they like them as they are. So when you take an interest in this man—this man who perhaps did have low self-esteem—he feels a boost in his ego thinking wow somebody likes me as I am.
