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A lot of people may not guess by looking at him—with his love of Budweiser, football, trucks, and flannel shirts—but my boyfriend is a feminist. He’s not just a feminist but he’s a better (and perhaps truer) one than the men who go out of their way to defy male stereotypes (even if they actually like beer and football) just to make some sort of a point. A man doesn’t have to “dress like a feminist” to be one. What would that even look like? Never mind. I’ve seen it. There are a lot of ponytails. The ironic thing about feminism is that, at it’s core, it’s about not projecting anything onto someone for something they cannot control (their gender) and yet, feminists themselves often assume someone isn’t a feminist due to the way he dresses or how he speaks (my boyfriend says “Bruh” a lot). I went out with a few loud and proud self-proclaimed-male feminists and, I gotta tell you, for a lot of them, it was all an act to get laid. They were the least feminists of all. Here’s what it’s like having an actual feminist boyfriend.
He never assumes I’m tricking him
If I say I don’t want to do much for Valentine’s Day or my birthday, he doesn’t assume it’s a trick. If I say I’m fine, he doesn’t assume I’m secretly not fine. He gives me the benefit of the doubt that I say what I mean—I’m not some character in a 90s sitcom about young newlyweds who plant traps everywhere.
