Excuses Negative People Make For Being Negative
I am certainly someone who takes, considers, and even appreciates constructive feedback from time to time. In fact, I ask for it when it comes to important decisions like dealing with an issue in my romantic relationship, dealing with a difficult coworker, handling strife with my mother, or dealing with a troublesome neighbor. If something makes me very emotional and angry, are usually know I am too close to the situation to make a good decision on how to handle it. So I will ask outsiders for their feedback. I say this to state that I’m not so sensitive I can’t listen to some criticism. But then, there are people who just seem like they wake up ready to find issue with every situation and every person they look at. It seems like they always look for the negative, and aren’t even happy until they are well, unhappy. It’s a sickness, in my opinion, to always look for the negative. I’ve had to tell a few people in my life that I no longer wanted them in my life because they were too negative. They had a whole list of excuses as to why they were that way, and I personally think those excuses were null and void. And they were just that—excuses. They really did not justify their behavior. Look, even if someone has an excuse to be negative, why not just be positive? Here are excuses negative people use for being negative that I think are just BS.
I tell it like it is
How can you possibly be so sure that you actually know how it is? You never fully know what is going on in someone else’s life. You never fully know what their struggles are or what their background is.
I’m just being helpful
Well, being helpful would be offering a suggestion as to how someone can improve their situation. Simply pointing out something negative is not helpful. It is just negative.
The world is a tough place
Fine, but why should you take joy in introducing people to how tough life can be? Shouldn’t we all aim to, hopefully, be a warmth and kindness someone encounters in the middle of the otherwise tough world?
You’re too sensitive
Look, if you say something to someone, and their feelings are hurt, just apologize. Don’t blame them for being too sensitive. It is in fact you who is too sensitive to acknowledge that you have gone too far. And even if this person is sensitive, do you really think in this moment that reality is going to hit them and they are going to completely toughen up because of you? Be realistic.
I call it like I see it
So you think you were the only one who noticed the negative thing you were pointing out. Actually, probably everyone else around you noticed it too. They just have more social awareness, and know that sometimes calling it like one sees it is not productive, helpful, or useful in anyway. It is just nasty. So they did not call it, but they did see it. Don’t think you’re the only one and that is why it is okay to call it.
You can’t take a joke
A lot of times when someone says something nasty and the other person is hurt the first person says they just can’t take a joke. Don’t try to cover up your nastiness with the lie that it was a joke. People can sense when there is truth behind a joke. In fact, it is cowardly to masquerade it as a joke.
Can’t you take a little feedback?
Sure, they probably can take feedback. But they did not ask for feedback. And I might state that giving tons of unsolicited feedback is one of the least attractive behaviors. I promise you if someone did not ask for your feedback, they did not want it.
You could tell me if I did something wrong
Sometimes super critical people make excuses for their behavior by telling everyone else that they are free to criticize them in return. They think that somehow buys them the right to be critical. They don’t realize that everyone around them probably does have plenty of critical things they could say about them. But they have decided not to be the type of people who perpetuate negativity and judgment.
What? It’s true!
This is usually what critical people say after saying something nasty and realizing everyone is looking at them shocked. Just because something is true, doesn’t mean you have to say it. If everyone around you started to say all the true things they think about you, you would probably rapidly change your stance on this rule.
Someone said it to me
Sometimes critical people excuse their behavior by saying they have been the victim of similar behavior their whole lives. Essentially, they try to say someone was critical of them and it was good for them. But they are probably in denial of the fact that it was not good for them. In fact that it has made them bitter and cynical. And now they are just passing on the abuse.
Whatever, I don’t need sensitive friends
Some people are so used to being critical, and having no filter, that they can’t fathom the possibility of changing now. So if they hurt someone’s feelings, they just tell themselves they aren’t compatible with that person as a friend. They tell themselves they only want friends who can take everything they dish out. The trouble with that is then they will only have friends who are also very cynical and negative. Nobody really wants that. If you want nice friends you’ll have to be nice.
Everyone is too politically correct these days
The political climate will often become a scapegoat for very negative people. They will say that nobody can handle what they say because everyone is too politically correct these days. But, on the flipside, they have usually made absolutely no effort to be politically correct. In fact, they have made a point to be shocking and offensive.
Fine, then I just won’t say anything
The funny thing about critical people, is they often can dish it out but they can’t take it. What I mean is that if you are very critical, and someone tells you you are being mean, you will then threaten to just never speak to them at all. Who is too sensitive now?
I was saving you from embarrassment
So you say you criticize someone, so they could fix the issue, and no one else would criticize them for the same thing. Aren’t you a hero. The issue is, you probably pointed out something but no one else would’ve pointed out. Because you don’t realize that not everyone judges, nitpicks, and criticizes much as you do.
Why perpetuate negativity?
In my experience, when people criticize and judge others often, it is only because they are insecure. They want to redirect attention onto others, for fear that if they don’t, attention will be on their flaws. And while this has a brief desired effect, it ultimately makes everyone just noticed one massive flaw, and that is that you were negative. Nobody wants to be around that. It is better to be positive even if it makes you vulnerable than be a negative force