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If you think the status of your physical space and the status of your relationship are not related, think again. Our surroundings impact us deeply. Whether we notice them with our conscious mind or not, our surroundings have an affect on our subconscious mind. Pleasant surroundings can make us feel energized, positive, and happy. Unpleasant surroundings can leave us feeling exhausted, pessimistic, and irritable. Naturally, all of those emotions wind up affecting your romantic relationship. If you and your partner have been living in a messy home with the mindset, “We’ll fix it some day,” maybe it’s time to decide that day is today. Each day you don’t address the mess is a day you let it chip away at your bond with your partner. And that’s a shame since a mess is something you have control over. Here are ways a messy home affects your relationship.
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Messes feel like personal attacks
When your partner leaves a mess, it feels like a personal attack on you. When you leave a mess, your partner feels like that’s a personal attack on him. Ultimately, you begin to resent each other and lash out about other things because of the messes.
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Cleaning monopolizes conversation
If you live in a constant state of untidiness, then cleaning up monopolizes your conversation. Most of what you talk about involves who made this mess or who will clean it up and when. You don’t have time to connect and talk about other things.
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You’re ashamed to have guests over
Your mess can begin to isolate you and your partner. If it really embarrasses you, then you won’t want to have guests over, and that hurts your social life as a couple.
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Tidying monopolizes free time
If you don’t find a sustainable way to stay tidy, then you’ll spend all of your free time tidying up. That means you won’t spend it doing anything fun with your partner or anything that helps you feel close.
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You’re always late
You’ll argue every day because somebody can’t find what he or she needs and it causes the person to run late to an appointment. That can make the person a little late to everything for the rest of the day, causing huge resentment.
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You cover your mementos
When your home is a mess, you unfortunately lose and cover up some of you most precious mementos. Photos of special memories get shoved into boxes and you miss the chance to adorn your home with these items.
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Clutter is depressing
Being amidst clutter has a way of negatively impacting our outlook on life. When your home doesn’t look the way you want it to, you feel like your life isn’t going the way you want it to.
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Dirt is a turnoff
A dirty home is just a turnoff. Have you ever noticed that when you go to a hotel with your partner, you want to have more sex than usual? Part of that is how free you feel in such a clean space. That’s what makes a bedroom feel sexy. So if your home doesn’t feel like that, well, that’s a problem.
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You dread going home
If you don’t like the way your home looks, then you’ll dread going home. But that means you dread going to the place where you spend time with your partner, which isn’t good. You can start to associate your partner with a sense of dread.
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Nowhere to sit
Sometimes, there is just nowhere to sit down when your home is a mess. Clothes, bags, or documents cover every chair and couch. You wind up fighting when, two seconds ago you were in a great mood, all because you can’t find a place to sit.
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Your meals are uninspired
When your kitchen is an unorganized puzzle, you just don’t want to go in there. So you stick to making the same old boring food for which you at least know where the ingredients are. But that means mealtime, which could be a fun time for couples, becomes a frustrating one.
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You trip, you fall, and you yell
Every day, you curse at the wall—but your partner feels like you’re cursing at him—because you trip on one thing or stub your toe on another thing.
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In-law comments
Even if you and your partner aren’t that hard on yourselves, your parents are. So then you begin to argue about whose fault it is that the place wasn’t up to the in-law’s standards.
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Domestic tasks are complicated
Doing something as simple as cleaning the mirrors sparks a fight because nobody can find window cleaner or nobody can reach the paper towel rolls because of where they’re stored.
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Parenting stress
If you have children, then having a messy home will increase parenting stress tenfold. The guilt of setting a bad precedent for your children causes arguments.
