How Did Insulting One Another’s Husbands Become A Thing?

September 5, 2018  |  
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Married to Medicine


I don’t know what I would do if someone I was in the midst of a verbal quarrel with brought up my husband. And I don’t mean that in a, I-don’t-know-what-I-would-do-because-I-might-flip-a-table-and-beat-them-like-they-stole-something type of way. I literally don’t know what I would do because the idea of things going so left that someone would even think to mention my husband and my marriage in a negative way seems so crazy to me.

But on reality TV, it’s extremely common. That doesn’t mean it still isn’t crazy to watch, though.

Take for example, on Sunday night’s premiere of Married to Medicine. At the end of the episode, when the ladies attended a “leather and lace” sex toy party thrown by Dr. Simone Whitmore, things fell apart when Dr. Heavenly Kimes attempted to give a halfhearted apology to Mariah Huq. It all stems back to the Season 5 reunion when Heavenly drew a mustache on a blown-up picture Mariah posted on her dressing room door. While Heavenly thought it would be funny, Mariah was pissed.

So at the party, Heavenly pretended attempted to bury the hatchet by presenting Mariah with a new blown-up image of herself. However, the image wasn’t flattering at all (and was from a rough time in her life), so she told Heavenly to take the poster and her fake apology and kiss her behind.

From there, the women went back and forth with shade. Heavenly, who is a dentist, faux complimented Mariah’s teeth, and Mariah, in response, told Heavenly that she and her husband, Damon, needed to get theirs fixed.

Clearly taken aback by the mention of her husband, Heavenly decided to go extra low and comment on the assumed size of Mariah’s husband’s penis (“small stuff” as she called it). After that, all hell broke loose.

Mariah, who was on her way out the door, came right back in to shut her her co-star down by mentioning possible infidelity on behalf of Heavenly’s husband.

“I could tell you a lot of people that have slept with Damon!” she shouted, to the shock of her co-stars. “Do you want me to bring the receipts? Do I need to bring the receipts, baby girl? ‘Cause I got receipts!”

Heavenly, for the first time, didn’t have a comeback. She could only ask, “What is she talking about?”

“Your husband!” Mariah added. “Ask him what he really likes!”

While entertaining (I can’t lie), it was all so messy. But it wasn’t new.

The women’s confrontation, which went so left that their husbands became targets, reminded me of the way in which a lot of women air out and call out the husbands of women in their circle on TV.

Like that time NeNe Leakes told Cynthia Bailey’s ex-husband, Peter Thomas, that he was “acting like a b—h,” and it created understandable drama in the women’s friendship. Peter and the possibility of him cheating on Cynthia was also a major topic during Season 7 thanks to Porsha Williams.

Or how about that time NeNe’s friend, Natalie (Christopher Williams’ partner), was telling everyone how Todd Tucker was an opportunist, and when confronted by Kandi Burruss about it at that infamous lingerie party from Season 6, it almost caused (another) fight.

Or how the Braxton sisters talked about each others husbands pretty roughly on Braxton Family Values. Tamar specifically was never one to bite her tongue about what she thought about Towanda and Traci’s relationships and their ex-husbands sitting on their “lazy a–es” and being so-called babysitters.

And most recently, on Basketball Wives, newbies Kristen Scott and OG Chijindu had a moment where, during a verbal disagreement, Kristen felt the need to flash her ring and remind OG that she’s married, saying, “I got a husband.” But things almost got ugly when OG calmly asked, “Where is he?” Kristen responded by saying, “With my baby,” and OG countered with, “Is he?” giving the impression that her husband was likely a cheater.

Husbands are often thrown in arguments like it’s nothing on these programs, with allegations and insults thrown every which-a-way. But does it happen in real life? I would hope not.

If it does, maybe that has something to do with telling too much of the business of your relationship to people you really can’t trust. Maybe they listen to your complaints, watch how your partner behaves when they have access to them, and the minute your friendship goes to sh-t, they are calling you and your husband everything but a child of God. They might not have the ammunition to comment on him if we didn’t overshare about our relationships during times of frustration and also give too much access of our family to others. They wouldn’t even have the nerve to try it if if they knew how seriously you take your partner and how guarded you are about your marriage. People can’t shake something they know nothing about.

It’s all new to me, and I hope it’s not something I would ever have to deal with because I can’t say I would hold my composure well. But to me, it’s the ultimate disrespect. It’s a jab at your union and the person that, aside from your kids, you love most. But on reality TV, it’s just yet another argument on yet another show…

As for what viewers thought of their verbal back and forth, there were a lot of opinions shared. Hit the flip to check out all the reactions to Mariah and Heavenly’s messy argument.

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