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Should you watch adult films with your partner? Should you even know that your partner watches that type of content, and should he know that you do? Well, to that, the answer is probably yes, considering that research has found that partners who come clean to one another about watching X-rated movies are actually happier. That makes sense to me. My partner is very open with me about the fact that he watches that type of stuff when I’m away, and I’m glad he tells me. It’s not like it’s any surprise that a man watches adult films. And, I don’t like to have any secrets in our relationship, so I’d rather he just say, “Let me know when you’re coming home because I’m watching x-rated stuff” than he lie about why he keeps checking on my ETA. Now, watching that stuff with your partner is a whole other ball game. With lots of balls to be juggled (no pun intended). Should you watch adult films with your partner? Here’s what you might expect.
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It can provide inspiration
Watching x-rated movies together can be a great idea if you’ve been feeling like your sex life has become stale, and you’re out of new ideas.
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Be prepared to know his dark side
What your partner is into, in his online content, and what he wants to do with you may be two very different things. What I’m saying is that, people can be into some pretty raunchy, kinky stuff, and your partner’s video tastes may…shock you. And make you question everything you knew about him. If you want him to be happy with this experience, he needs to be honest with you about what he watches, and you may not love that honesty.
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And to show him yours
Whoops! Don’t forget that that honesty has to go both ways. If you’re into group sex, glory hole, choking, BDSM—whatever—your partner is about to find out about it. This won’t work out unless everyone is honest about what they want to watch.
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But don’t judge
Honestly, just because people are into some dark and twisted videos doesn’t mean that they themselves are dark and twisted. In fact, watching that stuff in adult films can be a healthy, harmless outlet for those desires and interests. He isn’t the x-rated stuff he watches, just like you aren’t the videos you watch. These desires and interests exist in a confined space.
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It’s an intro to some acts
The great thing about watching these films together is that, it’s a natural, easy way to learn how to pull off some things you’ve been wanting to try. And you can do so without having to talk your way through it, like you’re reading from an instructional manual.
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But, you may prefer to watch than do
Of course, just because you watch something, doesn’t mean you want to do it. You may just want it to turn you on and get foreplay started. And the same may be true for your partner—he may not want to do the things he watches.
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If the latter is true, he should know that
If the latter is true, you need to communicate that. The unspoken understanding is that you do want to attempt the acts you watch on the screen, so if that’s not true, speak up early.
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Avoid it if he has an x-rated addiction
There is one circumstance in which, watching these films together isn’t a great idea: if your partner is addicted to them. You may feel like, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. But this can be a real addiction and, if that’s the case, you’re making it worse by participating in it.
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It can spark jealousy
Know that watching this type of content together can spark jealousy. You need to feel very secure in your relationship. If you see that your partner, for example, seems to like a certain aesthetic in the film stars—an aesthetic that is totally different from yours—you may feel insecure.
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Or, it may eradicate jealousy
For some couples, watching adult films together actually eradicates jealousy. Rather than feeling left out when your partner helps himself to some raunchy online content, you feel included.
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Picking a movie is never easy
Hey, every couple knows that picking out a movie that everyone wants to watch isn’t easy. Adult films are no exception. You may be perusing for a while.
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Just don’t accidentally go solo
Avoid the trap of going solo. What I mean is, just going to your separate corners, and helping yourselves—separately—while watching the content. That’s not the point of this exercise.
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Don’t become reliant on it
Watching x-rated videos can be nice occasionally, but make sure you don’t become reliant on it. You should still be able to become aroused without it.
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Keep the focus on you two
Make sure the focus stays on you two. The movie should just provide some background inspiration, but it shouldn’t be the main event.
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Don’t make it a tutorial
Don’t use these videos as an excuse to show your partner what you want him to do differently or better in bed. He shouldn’t feel like you’re just rubbing his nose in his bad work.
