Why A Guys Trip Is Good For Both Of You
“A yearly trip with my boys, and weekly BJs.” That was the answer I received when I asked a very happily married man (married for 25 years) how he and his wife make it work. Alright well, there’s obviously more to it than friend vacations and pleasure of the oral persuasion—they probably are good communicators and support one another—but, when this guy and his wife got married, they made a casual contract. They both listed things they would need to be happy forever. They both had terms and conditions, and those were two of his: being allowed to go on a yearly boys trip with his friends, and receiving weekly BJs. I don’t know how strictly that last part is enforced because, well, that would just be harassment. But I met this guy while he was on his yearly boys’ trip so, clearly, that part is holding up. And, I think it’s a great thing. Here is why the guys’ trip is good for both of you.
He opens up about career stuff
When given plenty of time to let the conversation go where it might, men actually open up to each other about their doubts, dreams, concerns, and hopes in their career. Most of them assume they’re alone with the chaos of thoughts and feelings they have around the progression of their career—it’s good for them to see how common their thoughts are.
They share about relationship things
Here’s another thing men open up about if you throw them in a long car ride and an AirBnb for the weekend—their relationships. There are some things they just need to talk to other men about when it comes to relationships. You know this because there are some things you just need to talk to other women about.
He can compare and contrast the relationship
Honestly, it could be good for your partner to get around a large group of guys and just notice what makes his romantic relationship different from theirs. He may come back feeling very grateful for you after noticing that one or two of his friend’s partners aren’t nearly as sweet and supportive as you are.
It strengthens trust
When you spend time apart, you strengthen trust. Every time you spend a few days or a week apart, but do a good job of keeping up communication, and don’t do anything the other one would feel betrayed over, you’re stronger for it.
You get total you-time
You get total you-time when your guy is gone. The world is your oyster. You can go sit in the movie theater through three movies he’d never see with you, spend four hours perusing antique and vintage stores, and take over the apartment for girls wine and cheese night. Sometimes it’s nice to just think about yourself.
He remembers to value relationships
Any time your partner dedicates real time to important relationships in his life—like those with his family or friends—he’s reminded that relationships are what life is really all about. And he’ll come back even more grateful for yours.
It sparks his sense for spontaneity
Who doesn’t come back from a trip with a new urge for spontaneity in their life? Travel allows for that sense of adventure and desire to try new things that daily life doesn’t, really. But your partner will probably try to get a little more spontaneous in day-to-day life with you after his trip.
He discovers places for the both of you
He finds places he wants to take you back to on a romantic getaway. Or, he gets bit by the travel bug and just wants to go somewhere with you when he returns.
He remembers you’re his fave travel companion
No matter how much your partner loves his buddies, he’ll realize that you’re his favorite travel companion. You are the most compassionate when it comes to his…stomach issues/sleep troubles/airplane anxiety.
He does the stuff you don’t want to
Let him get the activities you don’t want to do with him, out of his system. Whether that’s spending a full day at a slot machine or a giant beer pong table—if he can do it with his friends, he won’t ask to do it with you.
He comes back motivated
Your partner’s good friends make him believe in himself, they inspire him, they pump him up, they tell him how great he is, and they send him home motivated to be better in all areas of his life. That’s what good friends do.
They talk about health stuff
You know your man shuts down when you try to talk to him about matters of health. He doesn’t want to be babied or whatever. But he’ll probably chat with his friends a bit about some of that stuff, so he can get a gage for what’s normal (and what he should see a doctor about).
They talk about financial matters
It’s good for men to swap ideas about how to handle finances. You never know what financial advisor one friend will recommend for your partner or what high-rewards credit card he’ll tip him off about.
It offers perspective
Spending a good amount of time with friends just has a way of offering a little perspective. Your partner will come back realizing just how lucky he is in so many ways.
He can miss you a bit
Distance makes the heart grow fonder! When your man goes on a guys’ trip, he misses you even more when he comes back. In fact, he might really want to be with you because you didn’t seem to miss him as much (hey, you were enjoying four back to back matinees at the movie theater).