Signs You’re An Inconsiderate Friend - Page 2

Having meaningful friendships is important, especially ones that are mutually beneficial and supportive. Unfortunately, not everyone is naturally a great friend, and before you go pointing the finger elsewhere, we could be talking about you.

Have you ever stopped to think if you are inconsiderate of the people in your life, specifically your friends? If you’ve heard rumblings that you aren’t considerate of others more than a few times in your life, it may be time for some self-reflection and some changes. To find out if you’re the inconsiderate friend in the group, check out these tell-tale signs. It’s never too late to be a better person and the friend everyone deserves.

Only Your Time Is Valuable

One of the biggest pet peeves in the world is having your time wasted, even if it’s by your own friends. Thinking that only your time is valuable is not only highly disrespectful, it’s also very inconsiderate.

Just like you have things going on in your life and you took time out of your day to do something with your friends, it goes both ways. If you set a date and time to meet up with your girl, show up on time just like you do for work (or you should). Don’t cancel at the last minute when she’s likely already en route, and don’t no show at all.

You Don’t Show Up When It Counts

Being there for your friends when they need you is arguably the essence of what true friendship is. So, if you are never around when it really matters it could have your friends questioning the entire friendship.

Everyone has busy lives and tight schedules, but being there when your friends need you, despite what you may have going on, shows them that they can always count on you when they need to.

It’s Always About You

Everything begins and ends with you. If you looked up self-centered in the dictionary your picture would be front and center because you only care about yourself and no one else.

You simply can’t be a good friend this way. It’s easy to become self-absorbed with your own life, but you also have to allow yourself to make room for your friends to enter and share their lives with you too. If you don’t, you run the risk of starring in your own life story with no friends around to cheer you on.

“Please” And “Thank You” Aren’t In Your Vocabulary

This is something that we were taught as toddlers, but when you’re inconsiderate you don’t even realize it. Neglecting to say “please” and “thank you” to waitstaff is one thing, but to not even say it to your own friends is another.

It’s a basic sign of human decency and not verbally acknowledging when someone has done (or is going to do) something for you comes off as extremely entitled. Small gestures such as thanking someone and asking nicely, go along way to show appreciation and respect.

You Don’t Put In The Effort

Every relationship requires a certain amount of effort. In some friendships a lot of it is necessary while others require a bit less. However, you have to at least try to make things work.

Stop making excuses for why you’re never around or why you don’t call or why you never want to hang out. Whatever you have to do to make your friendship work successfully, do it. No one is expecting you to be super friend, but just knowing that you tried means everything.

If You Didn’t Do It, It’s Not Good Enough

Undervaluing someone else’s choices, decisions and attempts is an arrogant, superior practice where you think that you are the only one to do things the right way.

This is also one of the quickest ways to lose friends. Even if you feel like you could have done something better or more efficiently, there’s no reason to verbalize it all the time. This behavior makes others feel inadequate around you and it can cause them to never share anything with you at all.

You’re Overly Opinionated

We all have opinions and that’s perfectly fine, however there is a slippery slope between giving your opinion and being overly pushy with it. Everyone receives opinions from others differently, some appreciate them unfiltered while others need a more gentle approach.

If your friends have let you know that your overly opinionated nature is turning them off, then you need to find a way to soften your approach. If you can’t manage to do that, then perhaps you should just keep your opinions to yourself unless you’re asked.

You Lack Empathy

You may be tough as nails and never wear your emotions on your sleeve, but that doesn’t mean that your friends are the same way. If your friend(s) come to you with an issue that you think is completely ridiculous and you think they are crazy to be so emotional over, you still need to be empathetic to their feelings.

You don’t have to agree, but simply trying to understand their feelings from their perspective is all you actually need to do. Let them unload on you without you rolling your eyes and telling them to snap out of it. Just be there and listen.

You’re Selfish

You can’t expect to have a healthy friendship if you do all of the taking and none of the giving. Giving of yourself, whether financially, emotionally or both, is an integral part of friendship and if you’re not practicing it you’re definitely not a good friend.

For some people giving is hard, but if your friendships mean anything to you you’re going to have to at least try. No one wants to feel like they’re in a one-sided friendship and when you only take but never give, you’re robbing them of the friendship they deserve.

You Hide Behind Your Insecurities

Hurt people, hurt people, right? So, it’s pretty easy to come to the conclusion that if you are displaying all the qualities of being a regularly inconsiderate person, it could be because there is something deeper going on.

Hiding behind your insecurities with dysfunctional behavior is a common practice, but it can also push those you love away. Talking to a professional to find out why you act they way you do and what your insecurities are is the first step to becoming a better friend and a better person.