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Gettyimages.com/Black couple talking on sofa

I remember when my boyfriend and I first started dating around five years ago, every conversation felt electric. I almost felt like I was outside of my body, watching us, like in some extremely endearing indie coming of age film, where everyone is so well-spoken and self-reflective. Something about him opened me up and something about me opened him up. We were so giddy around each other. Today, that giddiness has turned into a wonderful comfort. I am by no means bored in my relationship—in fact, our bond strengthens and becomes more impactful on me every day. But when you’ve been together for a long time, eventually, not every conversation is witty or profoundly meaningful. The day-to-day aspects of simply being alive take over. Here is how conversation topics change from year one to year five of a relationship.

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You can be more open about his family

In year one, you wouldn’t speak one word about his family that was anything other than positive, enthusiastic, and celebratory. Now you two know the backstories of each other’s family and have spent enough time with them to be more open in conversations. Your family isn’t perfect. His isn’t perfect. But now his family is yours and visa versa and you love them flaws and all.

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