Here is what to know before living with a minimalist

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Gettyimages.com/Young couple starting out in new home.

Consumerists and minimalists can date, fall in love, and have happy relationships together…until they move in together. Even then, they can enjoy a successful relationship, but each person will have to make some changes. And if I can be totally honest, most of those changes have to be on the part of the consumerist. The minimalist will not meet you halfway. He won’t even meet you 15 percent of the way. Look, I think we all know, deep-down, that minimalism is a good way to go. You kind of recognize that your minimalist partner has a point, but hey—you like your stuff! And that’s okay. But when the question comes up, “Who will bend over backward for whom?” you know, in your heart, that you should move more towards minimalism, rather than having your partner move back towards consumerism. Here is what to know before living with a minimalist.

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He has one item of clothing for each purpose

It’s going to be hard to accept or understand at first, but your partner will have just one item of clothing for each purpose. In other words, he’ll have one pair of jeans. Yes, just one. He won’t have one tapered pair, one relaxed pair, one dark pair, one faded pair, one bootleg and one with tears on it. Just one. And he’ll wear it to death before replacing it. I’d spare him of the fact that you have 12 pairs of jeans. He’ll never understand.

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Dine out or eat blandly

There won’t be any major Costco runs with your boo. He won’t want to stock the pantry (although, you should have a small stock for emergencies like earthquakes). Furthermore, he won’t want fancy appliances like Vitamixes and waffle makers. Get ready to dine out often, or eat bland at home.

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You’ll discover you’re a pseudo hoarder

When you attempt to meet your partner halfway on the minimalist thing, you’ll realize that you’re kind of a hoarder…gasp! It’s okay. A lot of people are. But it will be an eye-opening experience when you realize that getting rid of some belongings is painful.

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Get a storage unit

Having a storage unit for at least six months (possibly a year) will help make the transition for you a lot easier. And it’s actually smart to take time to go through your things and decide what you want to keep, rather than just throw out everything in an attempt to go all in. You’ll regret that later. Get a storage unit.

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You’ll often feel judged

Your partner will look at you a little judgmental sometimes. A) Forgive him because you probably look at him too that way and B) Tell him to cool it with the eye daggers—he knew you weren’t a minimalist when you moved in together.

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Your guests will feel lost

Your poor guests will ask if you have this, that, and the other thing that they need to help you make dinner, or just to get ready for the day, and you’ll have to say, “No…” and see the look in their eyes that asks, “What’s going on in this house?”

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Demand positive reinforcement

Your partner should give you plenty of praise and positive reinforcement every time you make a change in the minimalist direction. You’re doing this for him, after all. So demand that acknowledgment.

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Have a spare room if you can

It could really help to find a place with a little spare room that can be all your own. Have a rule that your partner can’t go in there. If he does go in there and doesn’t like what he sees, that’s his fault, and he’s not allowed to get mad at you.

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You may need a new hobby

You’ll quickly realize that you treated shopping like a hobby. You treated it like going to a museum or to a poetry reading. When friends would ask what you’d want to do, you’d say, “Let’s go shopping” as if it’s a regular, daily activity. Now you don’t know what to suggest to friends.

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Assess everything you bring home

Before making a purchase and bringing it home to your minimalist partner, ask yourself “Is it necessary? Is it just trendy? Could we live without it? Will it make us happy every day?”

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Remember, he agreed to live with you

Don’t feel too bad about your learning curve. Your partner agreed to live with you, knowing that you weren’t a minimalist. So take it easy on yourself and know that this change will take time.

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You aren’t evil for liking stuff

This may be unpopular opinion amongst some spiritualists and minimalists, but you’re only in this physical body for this time so why not enjoy physical things? Like massage chairs and super soft scarves? You were given a physical body to enjoy things like that. You can enjoy material objects and still be spiritual.

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Get great at meal planning

You’ll have to get great at meal planning because your partner won’t want tons of extra food lying around, “Just in case.” So set the menu at the beginning of the week and shop just for that.

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Ditching duplicates is helpful

When you do start your de-cluttering process, ditching anything of which you have duplicates is a good way to start. In other words, do you need two grey cardigans? (Yes, I know one is full-length-sleeve and the other is three-quarter-length-sleeve.)