Signs Of A Sex Addiction
People can throw the term “sex addict” around a bit too much. Most healthy individuals (that’s emotional and physical health) crave consistent sex in their lives. Our bodies are programmed to tell us to seek out sex. So just because your friend has a couple one-night stands a week doesn’t mean she is a sex addict. And if a partner cheats on you and blames his behavior on sex addiction, he isn’t off the hook, either. This is a nasty little trick a lot of cheaters have turned to when, in fact, they’re just philanderous—but not sex addicts. Now, all of that being said, sex addiction is a real thing. And how could it not be? When someone has any type of addiction—drug, gambling, alcohol, shopping—it is typically an activity or substance that provides a brief high, and it is something they turn to when feeling particularly low. Sex can certainly be an addiction, when you think about it that way. Here are signs someone is a sex addict.
They have an astronomical number of partners
I’m talking in the thousands. That would mean this person was likely having sex nearly every day of his grownup life and with different people each time. You have to work hard to reach those numbers, but addicts typically are willing to work very hard to acquire their substance of choice.
They have sex after someone dies
Some people drink after losing someone, some people do drugs, and some people have sex. But people who have a healthy relationship with sex wouldn’t turn to it during periods of extreme grief. Remember people often use their addiction to alleviate negative feelings—but that’s not a normal way to approach sex.
They have sex after a failure
Once again, those with healthy relationships with sex typically want to have sex when they feel confident and happy. But sex addicts turn to sex to alleviate pain, so a sex addict might have sex after failures and letdowns.
They regret most people they sleep with
We’ve all slept with people we regret sleeping with. But sex addicts regret most people they regret sleeping with. Just as alcoholics regret most drinks, and healthy drinkers just regret a couple extra drinks, every so often.
They’ve had another type of addiction
Many sex addicts had a previous addiction—like a drug or gambling one—and have replaced it with a sex addiction, believing that type of addiction has less dangerous consequences (which isn’t necessarily true).
They’ve changed their sexuality many times
Addicts typically don’t care in what form they get their addiction. Alcoholics will drink anything. Drug addicts will get high off of anything. And sex addicts will get sex in any form they can, so many have changed their sexuality many times, having been gay, straight, bisexual, polyamorous, monogamous—you name it, it’s been their thing.
They sleep with people it’s inappropriate to sleep with
Sex addicts cross lines a lot and have sex with people it’s inappropriate to have sex with, like their friend’s wives, their bosses, their third cousin removed. Everyone sleeps with one inappropriate person at some point, but sex addicts sleep with several.
They cheat always, and a lot, and with several people
People make mistakes. Partners cheat. But sex addicts cheat on every partner they have, several times, with a lot of people.
They have a lot of unsafe sex
Sex addicts, like drug, alcohol, or other types of addicts, will put their physical safety at risk to get their high. In this case, a sex addict will have a lot of unprotected sex.
They turn to unconventional and taboo forms
Sex addicts often run out of ways to fill their need and have to fill gaps in time when they can’t find a partner with taboo forms of sex like glory holes or chat rooms.
They can’t have platonic relationships
Sex addicts can’t really have platonic friendships. A friend can quickly become a target of their addiction if they’re around at the wrong time, and in the wrong place.
They’ve risked their life to have sex
They’ve had sex on railroad tracks, while driving, and in many other places and under many other circumstances in which they could have died for doing the act.
They become anxious and irritated with out
Any type of addict becomes anxious and irritated without their substance—they suffer withdrawals. Sex addicts will become short-tempered and unpredictable when they don’t have sex.
They try to convince you to, when it’s a bad time
If you’re with a sex addict, he’ll try to convince you to have sex when it’s clearly an inappropriate time, like after you have lost a love one or suffered an immense failure. Their addiction will always be stronger than their care for your feelings. Sounds like any type of addict, right?
They feel sad and disconnected after sex
Finally, most addicts usually feel a huge downer after getting their high. That’s just how addiction works. So sex addicts may feel depressed, disconnected, or tired after having sex.