These micro-moments define your relationship
These Micro-Moments Say A Lot About Your Relationship
Gettyimages.com/Couple doing laundry at laundromat
Relationships are not made up of grand gestures and movie moments. If a man gets you amazing anniversary presents, what good does that do if he was barely emotionally present for the 365 days in between? If you take incredible trips together, who cares, if your partner bails on you when you become sick with food poisoning on the cruise? Relationships are a compilation of micro-moments—of the way you treat one another during the boring, meaningless, and mundane events of everyday life. In fact, really good relationships make those moments feel exciting and meaningful. The way you address and approach each other during just an ordinary activity says more about your relationship than any anniversary gift ever could. The way you handle these micro-moments says a lot about your relationship.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Sharing something interesting
When your partner wants to share something he finds interesting with you—like an article or a piece of news—do you stop what you’re doing to listen? Or do you tell him it’s not a good time even if it would just take 45 seconds? Healthy couples give one another their attention when they want to share something.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Requesting comfort/affection
Sometimes, you just want a little comfort or affection. Sometimes you crave a hug or a kiss, just because. When you call to your partner from across the apartment to come give you some affection, does he come to you? Or does he only do so if he isn’t busy with something else?
Image Source: Shutterstock
Borrowing small amounts of money
If you spend a lot of time together, you’re bound to pay for one another’s smoothies and packs of gum. Healthy, loving couples don’t sweat that stuff. They know it will all even out in the end. They’re happy to spend a couple of dollars on a muffin for their boo.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Leaving dishes for a day or two
Life can get so hectic that you just don’t have ten minutes to clean your dishes for 48 hours. In a solid relationship, your partner has sympathy for you—he’d rather put up with the small mess than add stress to your already full plate by getting on your case about it. He trusts you to get around to them.
Corbis Images
Last minute visitors
Maybe a friend has a 24 layover in your town, a drunk buddy needs a place to sleep after a night at the bars, or an old college roommate is in town on a last minute business meeting. When your partner loves you, he loves helping you help your friends. He knows it’s important to you to provide a place for your friends to stay, and he gets more joy from that than he gets angry over the inconvenience.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Greeting each other when you get home
How do you greet each other when you get home? Do you greet each other? When you really love each other, a quick hug or kiss—even when you’re in the middle of getting work done—is a welcome relief from your other activities. It’s not an annoyance or waste of time.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Saying good morning
All those little moments you have to greet each other—whether it’s getting home after a long day or saying hello to one another first thing in the morning—say a lot about you as a couple. When you really love your partner, you want a little affection first thing in the morning—your partner’s snuggles energize you for the day. You don’t hop out of bed without them.
Image Source: Shutterstock
Waking the other one to snuggle
If you and your honey can’t get to bed at the same time, how does he respond when you come to bed later, and gently nudge him awake for some snuggles? Does he become angry and say nasty things? Or does he half-heartedly say, “I’m sleeping” while still smiling because he’s happy you’re there?
Image Source: Shutterstock
Commenting on pre-sex hygiene
We can all stop this charade of pretending everyone is clean and sexy all of the time. Sometimes, you need to shower or brush your teeth before your partner can have sex with you. It happens to everybody. If your partner lovingly suggests you run a toothbrush through your mouth before you get it on, do you lose your temper with him and cancel sex entirely? Or laugh it off, and see his point?
Image Source: Shutterstock
Mentions of an ex
You both (probably) have exes. You’re grown adults—how could you not? And sometimes, exes come up in conversation. How do you and your partner respond to those times? Do you let it put you in a bad mood the rest of the night? Or do you have the maturity to understand that was the past, and there’s no need to ruin a perfectly good evening all over a one-second mention of an ex?
Image Source: Shutterstock
Showing off a new outfit/haircut
So what if it’s vain? So what if it’s frivolous? So what if it’s a bit superficial? You’re super excited about your new outfit and want to show it off to your partner! A good partner puts down his book/laptop and indulges you, watches you twirl, and tells you how adorable it is. He doesn’t say, “You know I don’t care about clothes.”
Image Source: Shutterstock
Calls about nothing
When your partner calls you to talk about nothing at all—just to pass the time or hear your voice—do you become irritated and press him to tell you what exactly he wants, or do you find it cute?
Shutterstock
When he eats your food (that you really wanted)
So your partner came home a little drunk and your leftover pizza looked really good to him—the pizza you were looking forward to eating. Do you yell at him? Or are you glad he was able to enjoy the pizza (while still asking him to save you some next time)?
Image Source: Shutterstock
When another person hits on you
Men can’t always know that you’re taken. Sometimes a guy will hit on you, right in front of your boyfriend. If he backs off when he realizes you’re taken, it shouldn’t become a whole thing. Does your partner let it go? Or does he let it ruin the night?
Image Source: Shutterstock
When one of you feels insecure
We all get a little insecure sometimes. We wonder if we’re attractive, if we’re good at our jobs, if we’re funny, etc. If you’re having one of those moments and ask your partner for reassurance, he should give it to you. He shouldn’t tell you that you’re being dumb or needy.
