All Articles Tagged "thirsty"
If you’re a woman who has tried to get your ex back, you’ve most likely taken the “desperate times call for desperate measures” approach, causing you to do all kinds of unfortunate things, including the walk of shame and the drunk dial. These unflattering behaviors render you his doormat, and ultimately push him away.
I know how excruciating it is when you still love him after your relationship ends. I’ve been the desperate woman who has tried unsuccessfully to get (a couple of) my exe(s) back. What I remember most is feeling insecure during the process and embarrassed about some of the things I did. My wake-up call in 2007 changed me for the better.
In 2007, I experienced some big setbacks, including a breakup with a man I loved dearly. I was devastated, and deep inside sensed our relationship wasn’t over. These setbacks helped me learn how to love myself. The more I loved myself, the less my desire to behave in desperate ways to get him back.
My approach wasn’t about initiating and worrying whether or not he would come back. It was about responding and having an inner-knowing that he would come back because he wanted to, while at the same time knowing that I would be fine if he didn’t. This empowering, six-step approach led him back to me and made me his wife.
1. Don’t disagree with why things ended. If he brings up the reasons why your relationship ended, don’t disagree with him. Find the truth in what he’s saying, acknowledge it and apologize for it. It’s better to be happy and loved than to be right. Wanting to be right is your ego stepping in and overshadowing your soul’s desire to be happy and loved.
Check out the other 5 tips on YourTango.com.
Sometimes in a relationship you’ll find that you are doing everything possible to make sure that things continue to go well. And while your intentions are nothing but good, sometimes becoming overbearing and overstepping in a relationship can do more harm than good. Though it may sound crazy, there are times when you may be doing too much. Here are 15 sign’s that you’re an overbearing girlfriend who is probably coming off as just a tad parched.
You’re in touch with him 24/7
Every morning there’s a text on his phone. During your lunch break you run to your car to call him. At night you make sure you call him to wish him good dreams. Staying in touch around the clock is a big no-no, and it shows that you’re becoming really needy and clingy. Guys tend to hate when a girl becomes clingy, so definitely cut back on the communication.
There are women who could care less if they ever get married. Then, there are those of us who fantasize about the day that we will be given the opportunity to stroll down the aisle in a white dress and exchange vows in front of oo-ing and ahh-ing family and friends. And finally, there are those who take the desire to be married to a whole new level and become fixated and practically obsessed with the idea of marriage. As folks say about Kim Kardashian and J.Lo, you’re too in love with the idea of love and the fairytale ending. The ladies who ooze of thirstiness and desperation. While there’s nothing wrong with desiring to be married someday, there does appear to be some detriment that comes with being desperate. For one, desperation leads many women to settle for Mr. Here and Now instead of holding out for Mr. Right. Not to mention that most men can spot a desperate woman from a mile away. This could result in him heading for the hills or taking advantage of her thirsty ways and leading her on. But how can you tell that your healthy desire to get married has become an obsession? Check out these signs to find out.
You’re willing to settle down with just about anyone
Have you ever found yourself trying to make serious commitments to a man you just met or have only gone on a couple of dates with? Are you already matching up your first name with his last or imagining how your children will look? Pump your breaks, sis. Jumping into a relationship and trying to get all Cinderalla with any man who smiles at you is not the move. Slow and steady wins the race and marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment, so try being more selective about the man you are willing to give your heart and time to. It may save you from potential heartache, headaches and thousands of dollars for a pricey divorce.
The line for this particular train is crowding the platform, thousands of females waiting to board with ticket and camera in hand. You know what I’m referring to, yes? The Great Thirst Trap Train. You’ve seen them: the self-shot camera pics of females everywhere from as young as 14 to only God knows how old seated not-so-comfortably on the edge of the bathroom sink, a trick used to make their rear end look even a fraction of a cheek larger. Or how about the back shot photos taken in elongated mirrors, their bodies contorted to get the exact angle at which their hips, booty and legs look most poppin’?
Throw in an outfit made of nothing but bra and panties (or now more frequently, no clothes at all) and photo captions/song lyrics like, “Body like heaven,” and you’ve got the perfect example of a tried and true thirst trap. A thirst trap is a photograph, status, tweet or the like that aims to entice men and result in compliments galore. I’ve found that it’s a sexually-motivated social networking tactic that attention-starved young ladies use to boost their self-esteem. Then, once men begin to respond sexually to your photos, they are deemed the “thirsty” ones, “pressed” or overly eager.
Let’s take a step further into this craziness, shall we? I’ve seen girls post statuses (under the guise of “Facebook After Dark”… REALLY?) about how they “like to ride it backwards.” Then, they follow the subsequent drive-by of likes and downright illicit sexual questions posed by horny young men with LOLs, <3s and smiley faces. But if the same young men begin to blow up their inbox, they are now considered “thirsty” and need to chill. And while some men take disrespect to a whole other level – which is NOT okay any way you slice it – this whole phenomenon still blows my ever-loving mind sometimes. Where do we draw a line for ourselves as women? Especially since I’ve seen all sorts of casually sexual behavior stem from these kinds of interactions.
With the growing number of x-rated photos (and videos) girls as young as 14 and 15 are tweeting, posting on Facebook and Instagraming – I’m wondering where (if anyplace) we’ll start setting boundaries for ourselves? Are we going to keep pushing the envelope for the thrill of seeing that little red Facebook notification seconds after we post a bra-busting photo?
I’ve gone weeks with less than five Facebook notifications, informing me that some guy has ‘liked’ my photo. When I was but a wee college freshman it used to bug me because I saw all the “sexier” girls getting so much attention. My self-esteem was outwardly validated then, so I would wear a shorter skirt and arch my back like an alley cat. That got old really quickly when I realized the kind of attention I was drawing. And not all attention is good attention. Forget what you’ve heard. Learning how to be comfortable in my own skin (and a full set of clothing) gave me confidence, so no matter how many Instagram/Facebook likes I may or may not get, baby I’m good. And honestly, a confident woman in a jumpsuit in her wall photo can be more attractive than a broken woman in a brassiere any day of the week.
There is room to love your body without advertising your goodies. And when you really think about it, why would you want to give away full view of your “assets” to a bunch of men who’ve done nothing to deserve even a peek, let alone the full Maxim spread (and I do mean “spread”) that so many females plaster across the Internet?
Your worth isn’t wrapped up in social networking notifications. It’s in how you view, carry and love yourself. We each set the tone for how we are ultimately viewed and treated both on and offline. So let’s button one more button and think twice about our destination before paying our fare to board The Great Thirst Trap Train.La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. Armed with the ability to purposefully poke fun at herself and a passion for young women’s empowerment, La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change through her writing. Check out her thoughts/jokes/rants on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.
More on Madame Noire!
- Where Are They Now? Talented R&B Divas Who’ve Gone MIA Over the Years
- But We’re Not Friends Though: How Do You Decline A Random Baby Shower Invite?
- MN Exclusive Part II: Jenifer Lewis Reflects on Her Struggle & Gives Advice to the Younger Generation
- Opening The Closet Door: 8 Singers Who Had To Deal With Speculation About Their Sexuality
- Aretha, Watch Your Back: 10 Stars Who Would Make Great Judges On “American Idol”
- Let Me Get You Straight, Girl! Advice To The Real ‘Housewives’ Of Atlanta!
- Did You Know They Dated? 10 Secret Lovers, Temporary Boos and Flings We Were Surprised By
Wake up. Think about a man. Get dressed, while thinking about a man. Go to work. Complain to co-workers about not having a man. Go home and talk to friends about why none of you have a man. Go to bed. Dream about a man.
If this is the story of your life, this will probably remain the story of your life, unless you actually get a life. Men should be additives and not the reason you eat and breathe. Unfortunately, some women have become so obsessed with the idea of finding Mr. Right that they’ve allowed it to consume their lives, thus sitting around playing the waiting game while life passes them by.
Then there are other women who end up getting in a relationship, only to allow their man and relationship to define their existence. Sound a bit extreme? Surprisingly, it happens more than you realize.
So how do you know if you are one of these relationship-obsessed women whose world revolves around men? Consider these six, somewhat blatant signs.
I can’t imagine being a Hollywood celebrity. Whether we’re talking about folks in the music industry or those on the big and small screen, your success is based on how many people know your name, know your face, and care enough about you (as a true fan or a hater who clicks on your posts or listens to your music in the hopes you’ll fail) to buy what you’re selling. Can’t be easy. Some people are lucky enough that their talents or straight up sex appeal keeps them on people’s minds, but others aren’t so lucky, so they do the absolute most to get people talking about them. For example, check out these chicks and the antics they partake in:
You know Melody, right? No? Well, I’m sure you at least know what her boobs and behind look like, because in an attempt to pretend she was being fashion forward and to get her name in people’s mouths, she showed up to an Elle event in a completely sheer dress. So sheer that her breast were exposed to the extreme (not just Areola, but like, the whole thing), as well as part of her vajayjay. The former Pussycat Doll might have exposed herself because she wanted people to remember her, and in turn, check out her new mixtape, P.O.Y.B.L, which was released recently. But this was just way too much. No pasties? No nothing? C’mon girl…
It’s been three years since you’ve had a steady boyfriend, but you’re dating life is far from stagnant. Left and right, you’re approached by new guys. It just never seems to work out. During the first ten minutes of dinner you often find yourself counting down the seconds until it’s over. You’ve tried Hot, not-so-Hot, nerdy and dumb; yet, almost all seem to have the same problems. Not to mention, your number of sexual partners is starting to get a little high. A girl has “needs,” right?
Occasionally our dating lives can get a little out of control, and we find ourselves circling around the same mountain in the rat race for love. When quantity rather than quality best describe the men in your life, it’s time to consider taking a man-cation, otherwise known as a vacation from dating and relationships.
Desperation is about as attractive as Rick Ross in a Speedo. You can’t let your excitement or passion for the apple of your eye cause you to sacrifice your dignity and poise; not only will you do yourself a great disservice, you might turn off the very person that has gotten you all turned up! Check out the difference between a desperate reaction and a confident one to common dating situations. Proceed with pride.