All Articles Tagged "temper"
Your kids just did or said something that has your feeling like you are about to flip out. Don’t do it, though. Relax, take a deep breath and wait. Although parenting is hard and most people get that, there is no excuse for managing a behavior problem in a way that will do your child more harm than good.
Most moms, myself included, have a lot going on. And it always seems like your kids push you to the limit on the days that have you stressed out beyond belief. It’s ridiculous how it often works out, but that’s just one of the parts of parenthood we have to deal with.
So what do you do when your kids have you so upset you just want to spaz out? How do you keep cool?
Do you grab a glass of wine to help you calm down? Do you grab a cup of coffee to take the edge off and give yourself the energy to deal with them? Do you start screaming and basically make them pay for all the crap that’s been stressing you out all week?
I hope you don’t do any of those things. Sure, we all have our moments and it’s part of life, but those moments should not become our norm. Here are a few healthier ways to help you keep your cool when your kids are about to send you over the edge. I hope they help.
Call a mommy friend. When you know your child has brought you to your breaking point and you can feel the anger rising, take the time to call another mom who gets you. Chances are they have been in the same space before, and they can help you calm down. As mothers we have to be able to pause before we act, because reacting purely out of anger can lead to regret. No one understands that more than another mom.
Go workout. A good workout can help you clear your mind, calm down, and gain perspective. If you are able to walk away from the situation and leave your child with their dad or another trusted adult, do just that. Take a walk or run, or maybe even hit the gym. Doing something for yourself that will get your blood pumping (in a good way) and get you away from you initial emotions is a very good thing.
Work on something you enjoy. It really doesn’t matter what it is, just find something that makes you happy and walk away from the kids. If you love to cook, go cook a meal. Baker? Then bake a cake. You enjoy writing? Pull out the laptop. Just try to redirect your focus until you are calm, have seen things from all perspectives, and are ready to disciple your child with a clear mind—not from a place of anger.
Meditate. Meditation is a great way to just relax and access a peaceful place. We love our children so much that when they do something wrong, we aren’t always prepared to address it properly. There are tons of meditation apps, like Calm, that can help you relax in just minutes. Take a bathroom break and use a meditation app to get your mind right.
Give yourself some space. You know how we give kids a time-out to help them relax and gain perspective about what they just did wrong? Well sometimes adults also need a time-out before they can address a situation in the best possible way. Tell your kids that mommy needs a minute and just allow yourself to be still for a while. Think about all your options, think about the real results that will come from each option, and make a decision.
Moms, what other healthy tips do you have for keeping your cool when your kids are driving you nuts?
Martine Foreman is a life coach, freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, and speaker. To learn more about her work and get great tips on how to create a life you love, check her out at CandidBelle.
Fussing and fighting takes a lot of the positive energy out of a relationship. It also manages to leave you incredibly exhausted. When you focus on being mad, it’s harder to get to the real reasons behind your anger issues. When something is done that you don’t like, here comes the same old argument. Again. And if you have a real temper, those disagreements can turn the volume way up on your relationship and put it in a bad place.
So how can you dial down the drama? Controlling your temper and allowing it to take a back seat to your positive feelings for your partner can keep frustration from tearing you apart. Practice these calming techniques and you can keep your buttons from being pushed so easily.
From a simple “woosah” to a stress-relieving exercise program, these tools can keep us all from saying something we don’t mean when the moment gets heated.
It appears Katt Williams and Suge Knight are now besties. We’ve heard about Katt Williams bugging out almost every week for the last month or so and finally – finally – Suge Knight has stepped up to tell us what the real problem is.
In regards to all his recent problems, Suge says this isn’t Katt’s fault. He told TMZ, “People test him because he’s small and the best comedian of all time.”
Of. All. Time.
The two were together in Seattle when Katt was arrested for being in a bar fight. Knight says they were watching the Seattle Seahawks/Chicago Bears football game – rooting for Chicago – and some fans were offended, so to speak. Allegedly, they started the fight so of course, Katt had to defend himself against the angry Seahawks fans. Knight says people do this all the time – starting trouble with Katt – and he “just don’t take no sh!t.”
By the way, Suge also likened Katt’s problems to those of Mike Tyson and the late Richard Pryor while they were in their glory years saying, “That’s what happens when you’re the best in the business. Sometimes you just have rough times.”
Clearly, Suge had a lot to say and doesn’t appreciate the way Katt has been “portrayed” by the media. But if he’s a real friend, hopefully, he’s trying to get in Katt’s ear as well and tell him he doesn’t have to react to everyone that “bothers” him.
I bet it has something to do with that man pictured above.
According to Variety, tensions are riding high on the set of OWN’s highly successful Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s. While the audience is accustomed to seeing the star of the show, Robbie Montgomery, fuss with her son (and restaurant manager), Tim (that’s the man pictured above), and the rest of the family on a regular basis, they never see what’s happening behind the scenes.
The report says that in October, Tim, the restaurant staff and the production team for Pilgrim Studios allegedly got into a very heated argument. While the details are sketchy, this apparently hasn’t been the first time the sides have been at war. The network sent co-president Erik Logan to the set of the show with security in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Variety reports that OWN believes all the anger from Tim stems from his many stresses as a manager, a father and soon-t0-be husband. So basically, he has the same problems as everyone else but he just chooses to lash out? Oh okay. As someone who’s seen the show and watched Tim lose his cool on everyone, including his mother, for no reason at all, it comes as no surprise they’re having so many issues. Whether or not they decide to air this on Sweetie Pie’s has not yet been determined.
The arguing is coming from all directions. The family is in such disarray that OWN actually offered them therapy from Iyanla Vanzant whose had a breakout show on OWN, Iyanla, Fix My Life. OWN reps did confirm that cameras filmed the sessions but it is ultimately up to the family if they want any of it to hit the airwaves.
Poor Miss Robbie. She’s got one of the few successful shows on OWN and it is being jeopardized by what is likely some foolishness. If her son is indeed a big part of the problem, she needs to make some tough decisions about her son and how he fits into her businesses.
We’ve all had that moment where we were having a bad day (or week) and lost our marbles on somebody on the train, somebody at work, or sadly, somebody at home (actually, all cases are pretty sad). It might have even been a whole lot of attitude that happened to show up when your mother asked you to do something–I’m sure she set you straight. However, if you lose your marbles with people like this on the regular and that’s the reputation attached to you, then that’s a problem. Nobody likes nor cares for the “angry black woman” stereotype, but rage is real, and you can’t be out on the streets releasing it on any ‘ol body who looks at you cross, steps on your shoe, or happens to wheel into the long a** checkout line at Target with a cart full of mess right as you were trying to get in it with two items. If you don’t get your temper in order, believe me, you’ll be doing more damage to yourself than the people you’re losing your mind over.
If you don’t want to dance, why did you come to the club?
As my friend and I like to make clear to men, it’s not that I don’t want to dance. In fact, I want to dance the night away! Just not with you…
I’d also like to make it clear from jump that I’m not the type of chick you’ll find in the club every weekend, dressed up in the tightest wannabe Herve Leger dress and in heels so high that I can do nothing but two step while I sip my drink. Actually, I’m the type who will wear something bright with lots of jewelry (that will fling off me when I dougie), and will be the tacky chick in the corner trying to take off wedge heels so I can act a fool in the flats I brought with no pain or trouble. After a busy couple of weeks of work, I’ll make my way out, ready to hear some eclectic and popular music and have a good time dancing with my homey-omey (my friend). Should be fun, right?
Or maybe not, because I’ve been noticing a ratchet trend: What’s up with the overly aggressive and thirsty guys in some clubs nowadays trying to low-key assault you when you just came to have a good time? This past Saturday, all in one place, I had a guy try to forcefully turn me around to dance on his lap after I basically ignored his signals to “juke” on him (even though I was dancing with him face to face for like two minutes…), as well as another who kept dancing up behind me though I was standing up straight and not moving. I literally had to step out of the way from his freakiness. I don’t mind dancing on a guy from time to time, especially if he’s hot, but seriously, that can’t be me on every song every time I go out.
Then, I saw another trifling guy harass a woman around the place as she tried to get away from him after he touched her backside twice when they were dancing together. She was so shaken up that it pissed ME off. The same guy got in my friend’s face and yelled at her when she said she didn’t want to dance. When he got too close and a little too aggressive, I pushed him like he stole something. I’m pretty much known not to make the best decisions in heated moments (remember that whole domestic violence situation I jumped in?), but luckily, whether he was drunk or just crazy, the look on my face (and the fact that we were the same height) kept this fool from trying anything else. After that incident, it was clear that it was time to go home before someone caught a black eye and I caught a case (or that black eye).