All Articles Tagged "split"

The Case Of The Ex…Who Won’t Go Away: When Your Ex Is In Your Kool-Aid, Not Even Knowing The Flavor

June 4th, 2013 - By Nicole Akoukou Thompson
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Sometimes, after you break things off with your ex, you never see them again… not in the back aisles of bodegas, nor at the concerts of mutually-enjoyed musicians. Depending on how your relationship ended, you’re lucky enough not to see their mug again. Then, there are other exes, those who are always around. They are visible, they make frequent appearances, they know your schedule, they ‘like’ everything on your Facebook wall and Instagram, and/or they still talk to all of your friends. Despite the fact that you two are no longer an item, your ex has failed to get the memo that you both need to move on.

Once, I had an ex who called me every day for the next six months after our short relationship ended, even when he’d moved on to another relationship. I had another ex who would tattle to a mutual friend anytime he saw me hanging out with other guys, claiming that I was being “out of control.” Some exes don’t know how to mind their own business, and some of them need to find business of their own. We’ve all had to deal with a person like this at least once.

Some people are unable to step away from their fallen relationships. Geared by certain motivations, they decide to hang around for a number of reasons, including: personal history, lingering attraction, persisting emotion, fear, or not feeling a sense of closure.  And, sometimes, people hang around just so they can stay in your system, and remain relevant. While they don’t necessarily want to be with you, they can’t resist an urge to check on you, access you, and/or make sure that your happiness doesn’t exceed theirs. Their actions not being based on wanting you back, missing you, or caring deeply for you, they often behave this way because it’s simply a matter of them not wanting anyone else to be with you. They suddenly see your value once others are appraising you, and that somehow provokes some insane sense of entitlement in them that compels the person to infringe on your time, make off-hand comments, or to be all-around haters.

Even if your ex has your best intentions in mind, (i.e. calling to check on how you’re doing, being emotionally available) it’s important to gain some sort of distance post breakup, otherwise it produces confusion, and the situation becomes murky. Very solid lines that were been drawn when you two broke up can suddenly become blurred, and the thought of “Why did we break up in the first place?” surfaces. It’s easy to stumble back into a relationship, especially when your ex is a concerned and helpful person. This isn’t to say that you and your ex can’t ever be friends or that you and your ex can’t give it a second go, but it’s important to gain that initial distance for a few reasons.

Number one: if you’re not careful, you might end up bedding him simply because feelings were amidst, and you were feeling sentimental and vulnerable. Number two: you don’t want to use your ex, which can be the can be the case with kind overly-attached exes. As flattering as it is that your ex will still travel several miles out of his way to pick up your dry cleaning, you don’t want to take advantage of that kindness, especially if those kind things are are only being done in order to lure you back into a relationship. Number three: if you decide that the two of you should get back together, remembering why you broke up is really important, and a few nice gestures won’t cure ongoing issues. Make sure you take the proper amount of time to digest your break-up before making the decision to get back with that person.

No longer being with your ex grants you the permission to do whatever you need/want to do, despite the fact that a nosy ex can be a naysayer. Try to vocalize your position to your ex if you’re feeling overwhelmed by them, and try to inform them that while their opinions were once held with the greatest esteem, it’s time for them to take a step way back. Like way back and out of the picture.

 

 

 

With Pain Comes The Truth: What Your Ex’s Behavior Reveals About Him

January 14th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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There’s no knowing how a man will react after you break up with him. The calmest man can go AWOL. The most enthusiastic man, silent. Through their behavior post-breakup, some men make you regret your decision to leave them. Others make you realize just how right you were to call it quits. But one thing is for certain: you never really know a man, until you’ve broken up with him. So, what does your ex’s behavior say about him?

We Know It’s Hard, But Don’t Go There: Things You Have To Force Yourself Not To Do After A Breakup

January 4th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Shutterstock

Think you’re weaker after a breakup than anybody else? Think again. A breakup is like any sickness: all the same symptoms come along, no matter who you are. Trust me, everybody has to fight every fiber in their body to not do these things when heartbroken.

Did He Cheat? Djimon Hounsou Addresses Rumors of Infidelity

June 13th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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Source: Sister2Sistermagazine.com

On top of rumors that money troubles were breaking up Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou’s relationship, Kolo Boof—the Sudanese-Egyptian author and poet who claims she was Osama Bin Laden’s mistress—came out with allegations that she slept with Djimon to get back at Kimora and that’s the real reason the two are splitting.

Russell Simmons told us Kimora’s approach to silly rumors—ignore them and let them die—but when Kolo accused Djimon of being unfaithful, he had enough. In a statement on his wife’s ex-husband’s site, GlobalGrind.com, he shut down the rumors altogether, saying

“It has come to my attention vicious lies and stories are being spread about myself and my family. I do not know, nor have I ever met this person. To that extent any and all claims are totally fabricated and for the press to be spreading these lies is irresponsible on their part. I am a man of integrity and would never betray my wife or my family.”

The NY Daily News seems to be the only outlet giving Kola’s story unnecessary attention. In January and February she was going hard on Twitter, making comments about how she had sex with Djimon more than Kimora, and with an autobiography on the shelves it’s no wonder she’s looking for ways to be relevant. Luckily Djimon nipped that in the bud quickly, as he should have. It’s good to know not only are the couple’s finances intact, their relationship is too.

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Russell Simmons on Kimora and Djimon: ‘Please Don’t Say They Are Fighting Over MY Money’

June 6th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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Source: Bossip.com

Russell Simmons is clearing all sorts of air today. Earlier he had Gwyneth Paltrow’s back for her her suspect tweet and now he’s outlined a few points for consideration regarding rumors that his ex-wife, Kimora Lee Simmons, and Djimon Hounsou are on the verge of breaking up.

In another Global Grind post, Russell said he called Kimora when he read reports her relationship was on the rocks and she told him it was a waste of energy to comment. But you know Russ. He said he feels it’s his job to make a statement since he owns a website and this is his family, so here’s what he had to say:

1. Kimora and Djimon are fine.

2. Kimora and Djimon are both doing extremely well in their respective endeavors and businesses and don’t need to fight over or waste energy on money issues.

3. I damn sure don’t pay nor have I ever paid alimony (Kimora does just fine). In no way do I support their lifestyle, so please don’t say they are fighting over MY money.

4. Yes she’s selling a house, but she hasn’t lived in it for several years since she built the house they currently reside in.

5. As for friction between us? There is none. I feel like I’m part of their family. Djimon and Kenzo are like my blood and Kimora is my best friend. We are partners in various businesses and in the really important business of raising our beautiful children.

Guess that clears that up—and double LOL at point three.

I think from this news we can expect to see another blended Simmons-Hounsou-Russell’s new chick family portrait at Thanksgiving again this year. Good times.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Is This Real or Rumor? NY Daily News Reporting Kimora Lee and Djimon Hounsou Have Split!

June 5th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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Source: Gossiponthis.com

Usually when stories like this hit the web the couple might be in the process of breaking up or maybe thinking about splitting but when it comes to Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou, the NY Daily News is reporting their relationship is already o.v.a and over something so unfortunate, money.

The story is “Djimon walked out on Kimora,” according to a source, after the couple had a big fight over money. From the source’s perspective, Kimora’s ex-husband Russell Simmons decided to stop funding the couple’s life, which I didn’t know he did, and since “Kimora lives as if she’s the Queen of England,” that’s not going to work.

It doesn’t help that Kimora just put her six-bedroom, eight-bath Beverly Hills country home on the market for less than what she paid for it. News outlets starting talking when the Justfab.com creative director listed her home for $4.7 million after paying $5.9 million for it at the height of the housing market in 2007. Kimora went on Twitter to clear up any money trouble speculation quickly, tweeting:

“Wow, I put 1 of several properties I own (+ DONT live in) on the market & now apparently my whole life is fallin apart?! Rumors, Rumors …”

But while Kimora got on that story ASAP, neither she nor Djimon has said anything about rumors they’re in splitsville. When the Daily News reached out to her rep, all she told them was, “Kimora has a beautiful family life.”

Sounds like a sidestep to me.

On Djimon’s end, his people said, “Djimon’s been working in Vancouver for the past few months” and that he couldn’t  “liase” with the paper immediately because he was on a flight from LA to New York. And of course Russell hasn’t said a word—yet.

Hopefully little Kenzo’s mommy and daddy aren’t splitting but I can definitely see it being difficult for Djimon to keep up with all that “fabulosity.” Hollywood couples don’t have much of a shelf life and they may have hit their max.

What do you think? Could these two really be splitting?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.


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Zoe Saldana Back on the Market After 11 Years

November 14th, 2011 - By Brande Victorian
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A rep for Zoe Saldana has confirmed that the actress and her fiance, Keith Britton, have “amicably separated after 11 years.”

Saldana and Britton’s engagement became public in June 2010, and at the time Saldana was said to be “thrilled.” Other reports in Us magazine painted a different picture though, remarking that “[Zoe] doesn’t even introduce him as her fiance. She will just say, ‘This is Keith.’ She likes to keep her personal life to herself and wants people to focus on her as an actress.”

There’s no word on why the couple decided to call it quits, but their joint business ventures are expected to stay intact.

“[They] remain committed business partners as co-founders of fashion resource MyFDB.com,” Saldana’s rep said. “Respect of their privacy is appreciated during this time.”

Do you think the split could be a result of Saldana’s increasing fame or just a result of the relationship running its course?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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WORD!? Gloria Govan and Matt Barnes Call It Quits

October 24th, 2011 - By madamenoire
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"Matt Barnes and Gloria Govan"

I know Shaunie O’Neal is somewhere doing the tootsie roll in celebration of this news. It’s sad news, but we all know O’Neal had been questioning Gloria Govan and Matt Barnes’ relationship since the wedding that never happened. Well folks, it looks like that wedding really won’t be happening at all, because Matt Barnes (of all people) has spread the news that he and the “Basketball Wives” star are finished.

“I’d like to address the rumors surrounding mine and Gloria’s relationship. We have reached the difficult decision of ending our relationship and will be going our separate ways at this time. We will work together to raise our sons and wish each other only the best.”

According to the Los Angeles Times, Barnes put Govan on front street through Twitter just last week after one follower told him he should marry her, or someone else would. His response: “He can have her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Govan didn’t take that mess lying down, and responded to his statement by saying the following through the good ‘ol social media ish starter: “If someone is dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.”

Dang…and they were just starting to look like they had their relationship on lock (remember when they went to dinner with the Christies, and Matt was all mushy-gooshy about Gloria?). But let’s be real, we all know reality TV has a way of putting relationships in the hole, especially when you have to fake being happy for the cameras continuously. It’s just sad to think that they can’t work things out for the benefit of those little twin boys (3-year-old Carter and Isiah), but they’ve obviously got some issues if they’re playing that mess out on Twitter. Hey, if they aren’t really happy, there’s no point in exposing the kids to drama. Ya feel me?

Did you see this coming?

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