All Articles Tagged "single women"
Airports, the new hot dating spot? Well, people used to say the best place to pick up single women and men was at the grocery store, so why not airports? And with busy executives spending a lot of time traveling, airports might be the only place they come in contact with new people—and potential dates.
Many jet setters might be interested in a new survey by travel dating website MissTravel.com that uncovered the most popular airlines for single women. Delta Airlines topped the list for finding single women, while United Airlines came close at #2 on the “7 Airlines Most Single Women Fly” survey. US Airways, Southwest Airlines, Virgin Airlines, Jet Blue Airlines and AirTran Airways followed (in that order).
“Aside from the reasonable fares and amiable customer service, male business travelers frequently choose Delta,” says Brandon Wade, founder and CEO of MissTravel.com, said in a press statement. “Increasing the airline’s appeal to a woman traveling for leisure, who may have her eyes open for a potential love interest.”
And, found the polling, single women are willing to talk to strangers in airports. A whopping 64 percent of women admitted they spoke to strangers while at the airport or airplane than anywhere else.
And the odds are in the single lady’s favor as single male travelers (meaning men traveling by themselves) outnumber lone female travelers by 15 percent.
So what we’re wondering is, where is the list of airlines single men prefer?
Confession: I have been a womanizer for a long time, so I know something about womanizers in general. With that in mind, here are my best pieces of advice for single women about identifying and interacting with men like me:
1. There’s a difference between players and cheaters. There are two types of womanizers, players and cheaters. One should be respected and the other should remain despised. There is an old saying, “Don’t hate the player; hate the game.” There is a lot of lighthearted validity to that adage.
I distinguish players from cheaters because players have multiple female sex partners and they are upfront and honest with women about their desire to be sexually satisfied by more than one woman. This type of womanizer does not try to hide, deny or camouflage the fact that monogamy is just not his thing. Always appreciate men who are honest with women about their promiscuous desires.
Cheaters interact sexually with multiple women under false pretenses. They present a facade of wanting to be involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship with one woman, but deep-down they want variety in their sex lives. I have no respect for liars, manipulative game players, adulterers and cheaters. I simply do not like the idea of toying with someone’s emotions.
Read more on YourTango.com.
My name is Liz Newman, and I love my dog like a human being; if we’re being totally honest, I actually love him more than most human beings. Ok, pretty much all human beings. Fine, I’d jump in front of the bus from Speed (so long as it didn’t plummet below 55mph!) for my dog, ok? There! I said it. (This is the part where you all say in unison: “Hi Liz”, and try not to judge me).
But wait! You can’t judge me, because according to a recent study by AVMA’s U.S. Pet Ownership & Demographics Sourcebook, singles are much more likely to identify pets as members of the family, rather than merely companions or property. This certainly applies to me as, like countless others, I’ve been burned by boyfriends, and managed to move on without overly dipping my pen in the crazy ink. But try and take my dog away? I’ll cut you.
In fact, to further reiterate that AVMA’s latest discoveries are totally founded, I, a single girl living in New York — and whose heart beats for a 7lb maltese (damn right, I fit the profile!) — am going to break down the top three findings with a corresponding, completely factual tail — I mean — tale.
1. Pet ownership among single people increased from 46.9% in 2006 to 54.7% in 2011.
It’s hardly a secret, pets inherently know only one way to love: unconditionally. I actually, and quite accidentally, acquired Joe (said 7b maltese) after a major breakup. I wasn’t even thinking about getting a dog, but he came into my life and was an instant healer; it was remarkable. This little guy is so overly excited when I return home he physically cannot stop running circles for a solid 30 minutes, unless it’s to shower me in nonstop affection. “Oh please, my boyfriend did that all the time,” said no one ever.
Red more on YourTango.com.
Do you think you and your girlfriends are the only ones who trash talk the people you met at the bar once you’re home, while chugging Gatorade eating drunk snacks and kicking your heels off? Yeah right! Men have pet peeves about going out, too. Just as you can’t stand the creeps, the overly aggressive, the cocky and the fratty, men have identified types of women they want nothing to do with. If you’re partaking in this behavior, you could be one of them.
Dear Kenya Moore, It Would Be Great If You Could Stop Feeding Into The Desperate Single Woman Stereotype
That frustration has only been magnified by the recent development from Kenya’s faux boo Walter who just confessed that their on-screen relationship is about as real as Kim Zolciak’s hair. Truthfully, although I was hoping no one was in a relationship that lackluster, this information only makes Kenya’s character, which she is in the truest sense of the word, more pathetic than we initially thought, and I can’t help but ask why she chose this, of all images, to portray when she signed up for RHOA.
It’s one thing to be as desperate as she appears to be and not know better than to show that on actual TV. It’s quite another to play that role, as a supposed force in the LA film scene and a D-list actress, when it’s not really who you are. Yes, I know Kenya’s parts have mostly been relegated to strippers and the trois in a menage but of all the things she could have been on this show, why choose the stereotypical man/baby crazy old hag?
On one hand, I’m probably expecting too much from this woman. After all, she is on reality TV. But on the flip side, why are you boasting about all of your accomplishments, from winning Miss USA to owning your own production company, just to throw that respectable legacy away for the sake of, maybe, a couple hundred thousand dollars? For one, I can pretty much guarantee no one will be asking her crazy, thirsty, no boundaries having self to participate in any charity events going forward after witnesings her rude behavior and uppity attitude at Porsha Stewart’s fundraiser. And wo, any man who would even think about getting with Kenya in real life after watching her this season of the show is nothing less than a fool. Very few people can play crazy that well, hence I can only concluded that some of that desperation she’s displaying has to be real.
Prior to watching this season of the RHOA, I’ve only heard women like Kenya exist. And since I’ve yet to cross any in my personal path, I’m going to continue to assume women like her are few and far between – or at least not nutty enough to think flirting with other men in front of your (fake) man is going to make him put a ring on it. Though there are plenty of single women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are longing for the day someone makes them their wife and a little one calls them “mommy,” these women are able to function normally in society. They realize dropping non-subtle baby hints every two minutes in a conversation is not becoming, and an impromptu ring-size drop is no insurance that you’ll actually be receiving one, and that jealousy is not the key to a man’s heart. There are plenty of single, baby-less women who also know the world doesn’t stop just because they haven’t filled these desires; therefore their wish for those things doesn’t determine their every move or creep into every discussion. Further, there are a slew of women who are in Kenya’s age range and have not hit these personal milestones because they are waiting on the right one or the right time, rather than trying to force it as she is. In all actuality, it should be quite clear to all of us that she is playing a role because the way she functions in her aloneness is simple not characteristic of most women in her predicament and for that I am very grateful. I just hope there aren’t too many men watching her act a donkey every week, and fueling their belief that all single women over a certain age are crazy. Here’s to the rest of us non-desperate single women balancing her craziness out.
Are you frustrated by Kenya Moore’s representation of a single woman with no kids?
One of my favorite songs is “Independent” by the rapper Webbie. It’s a bit outside of my usual musical taste, but the hook is so catchy. He talks about an independent woman who can take care of herself and makes it clear that he’s attracted to these self-sufficient women. As well, I’m a big champion of women being independent. However, the other day while watching Iyanla Vanzant’s new show, Fix My Life, I had a bit of an epiphany – maybe women should change their language about needing a man.
You see, I’ve had countless conversations with many of my single sister-friends and have often heard statements like, “I don’t need a man, but I want one.” During a recent show, one of the audience members said the same thing to Iyanla and was quickly corrected. Iyanla said, “You do need a man, so stop saying you don’t.” She then went on to explain how the sentiment around that statement might be blocking the woman and other women from finding a man. Honestly, I had never thought about it that way. But you must admit, she made a valid point.
Read more on Essence.com.
When I think about the concept of sowing, two things come to mind: reaping what you sow and sowing your wild oats, neither of which have particularly positive connotations — for women at least. We all know men are taught to go out and sow their wild oats before they settle down while women are taught to keep their flower unplucked until someone asks for their hand in marriage somewhere down the line, but keeping gender biases out of the equation would it be good for women to do a little sowing too?
It’s widely believed that if women didn’t have to deal with the ho halo hanging over their heads anytime they decided to be sexually exploratory before marriage, they’d be doing a lot more than they do now. That may be the case considering before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and every other Social Media outlet under the sun we used to have a little thing known as privacy to keep our risqué behavior under wraps. But I’m not talking about women just wanting to have a little fun or give in to their temptations without thinking about any potential consequences, The question is, is it necessary?
Ask nearly any married person, or heck someone who’s been in a relationship with (or “tied down to”) one other person for long enough and they’ll be quick to advise people to have their fun now, usually with a heavy emphasis on that F in fun. “Get it all out of your system now” some will say or “explore different things,” all of which boils down to having some type of experience(s) that will only be appropriate for you to have while young and unattached. That’s not a bad idea, nor is it unlike other advice to go travel abroad or learn this or that skill before you’re married or with kids. When you are your only priority, the sky is essentially the limit. But amidst this pro-wildin’ out encouragement is an undertone that if you don’t get it — whatever it may be — out of your system now, you’re going to regret it later and possibly ruin a good thing you have going at the time. Is that always the case?
There seems to be this fear that if women don’t sow their oats pre-marriage, their curiousity later down the line may literally kill the cat and their relationship as they seek to enlighten their curious minds. I imagine for some spouses who have lived sheltered lives, perhaps settling down with a high school sweetheart or something like that, they would eventually want to have some other experiences with some other people. But for women who aren’t naturally interested in knowing a lot of men in the Biblical sense, I don’t think you can assume across the board that by their tenth wedding anniversary they’re going to be searching for “something new.” And let’s not forget a lot of people aren’t even thinking about marriage these days. What’s there to sow in those cases?
When it comes down to it, you have to know yourself and what you really want. You can’t sow oats you don’t really want to sow just because someone else tells you you should. And in the same token, you shouldn’t limit yourself sexually because you’re worried about the social repercussions for what you’ve sown. The bottom line is you need to do you, and if that includes a few other people too before someone puts a ring on it, so be it.
What do you think?
*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.
I think I was about 15 minutes late to the single woman age bias party as it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I first heard a guy blatantly state that if he knew a woman who was 30+ and never married he would have to assume she was crazy. Yes, I know an enormous amount of shade follows all single women, and truthfully even girls, because essentially from the time a teen is able to date until she gets to the altar she is asked a gazillion variations of the “so why are you single” question along the way. But I was slow to find out people were out here stamping a crazy label on women who didn’t meet that arbitrary goal by a certain age. Old hag, cat lady, lonely maybe, but crazy? No mam.
Fast forward to today when this topic came up again in the office. It may be a sign of the times that the socially acceptable age threshold was pushed back to 35, but aside from that, the basic premise was the same: If a woman wasn’t married by 35 some screws must be a little loose upstairs. The interesting thing was this wasn’t just coming from the male perspective, some women also seemed to follow that same line of thinking. Aside from the caveat of being too focused on one’s career to settle down, it was sort of assumed if you’ve got all the basics going for you — good looks, good job, good credit score, your own place, no kids — and nobody put a ring on it, you must be bat ish crazy.
Try as a might (for what reason I don’t know) I just can’t seem to follow the logic here. Maybe it’s because the line of thinking is completely illogical. After all, we’re not talking about a biological clock and the threat of high-risk pregnancies here, this is a basic assumption that across the board all women are mentally and emotionally ready to be wives by a certain age and that there are an appropriate number of suitors for them at that time as well.
The interesting thing that came up today (and one other time in the office) is that women have now assigned this same type of rule to men. Though the crazy bar was set at 40, it was still assumed men who’ve made it to that point without ever putting a ring on anything other than their shirt collars might be a little bozo. Ummm newsflash: everybody doesn’t want to get married, everybody doesn’t want to get married by 25, everybody hasn’t been searching for Mr. and Mrs. right their whole life long. For some people, marriage is like hoping for an empty taxi to come by while waiting at the bus stop: If they catch one, great, if not they’ll find another way to get on. I mean would it be better if these people were divorced just to say somebody, anybody at one point married them? Stop it.
Call me naive but even though I know there is more than enough single-shaming to go around, I thought we’d sort of gotten past these arbitrary age ceilings. When we talk about those lists of absolute “nos” people have as far as their requirements in a partner maybe we should look at how many people are passing off on those 30 and up who’ve never been married because of an assumption that they’re crazy. In that instance I’d say the person overlooking them is the one who’s loco. And should I find myself single and never married at 30, 35, or 40 I would much rather hope to find someone without the baggage of an ex-wife and kids spilling over into what we’re trying to build. But maybe that’s just me.
Do you believe men or women who aren’t married by a certain age have to be a little “off”?
“Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” —Anonymous
As a relationship coach, I talk to a lot of single women. It’s pretty rare to find one who wants to be in a relationship, isn’t in one and is perfectly relaxed about it. There is usually some fear lurking under the surface.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that single women are living in fear; most are not. They have busy, happy lives just like coupled people. But when many of these successful, self-assured, independent single women let their guard down, most of them admit that they are afraid that maybe they will never meet “him.”
Many are afraid that their ship has sailed, they let “the one” get away or that the older and more established they get, it will only become harder to find someone who fits into their life. I get it because I was there too.
I met my now husband when I was just shy of 27 and although I was perfectly happy on my own at the time, I had my moments of doubt. Part of me wanted to “just meet him already” so that I could breathe a little easier. I thought that once I met him and it was clear that we were headed toward marriage, there would be one less thing to worry about, one less way my life might not go according to my plans.
Read more at YourTango
Why Do A Flood Of Good Men Come Your Way When You’re Taken, But Very Few Do When You’re Single And Ready To Mingle?
I’ve had an interesting month to say the least, and it’s during this month that I realized most in my 24 years of living that some men want what they can’t have, even if they don’t know for sure that it’s out of their reach.
While walking from my boyfriend’s place earlier in the week, I looked my norm. With the exception of some mascara, my face was make-up free, I was wearing a loose sweater dress, some sandals, and my locs were all over my head as I rushed to the train. On my way, I was stopped by one guy after another who had something to say. A fella on the phone took a break from a conversation to tell me, nicely, that I looked beautiful, another flashed a toothy smile and tried to stop me, and it went on and on–even when I got on the train. Sitting down finally and minding my business, I just happened to sit next to a guy with hair like Al B Sure in the early years of stardom (but not the face), and he was feeling extra friendly.
“I just had to say, you have some very nice feet!”
Not only was this an awkward way to start a conversation, but homeboy said it so loud that other people on the train took notice and immediately looked at my toes. When I tucked them as far under my seat as possible thanks to all the attention, the guy tried to tell me that I should be proud of them and that he didn’t mean any harm. I quickly said thank you and tried to eye my train stop, hoping it would come up very soon. Five minutes later, he mustered up the courage to ask me out for lunch (loud as hell once again), and when I told him that I couldn’t because my boyfriend wouldn’t approve, he tried to say something about why it would be okay for us to hang out, and I ignored him, full of glee at the sight of my stop, which I proceeded to run off the train to.
And if that wasn’t enough, even today, I made my usual arduous monthly trek to the laundromat, this time looking a hoodie-wearing mess (hey, that’s all I had left that was clean). As I proceeded to lug my laundry cart into the establishment and ask for change, the attendant, gold tooth shining, Jamaican accent MAD strong, decided to finally say the following to me, after more than a year of me coming into the laundromat: “You’re married, right? Because if you aren’t I would get down on my knees and beg for you right now.” When I just smiled awkwardly and proceeded to get quarters with my change, he asked me once again if I was married, and in turn, I said no, but that I’m in a relationship. As a response, he let me know that I was too good to just be dating and that my boyfriend needed to marry me. You know, because he knows my life like that…NOT.
While sometimes flattering, other times frightening, these scenarios are a far cry from the time before I met my boyfriend. Though I had met a few guys every now and then who I didn’t wind up matching with, for the most part, my well of men was pretty dry, which was not what I expected after moving to New York and watching many episodes of “Sex and The City.” While you might be approached by the low-lifes or dudes standing on the sidewalk all day, the respectful men who tried to approach me were pretty hard to come by. But once I found someone I care deeply about and happen to be interested in doing right by, that’s when good guys, bad guys and randoms decided to put their bid in for me. A handsome police officer and friendly business owner tried to put their best foot forward to get my attention this month, and as I politely rebuffed their advances, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Where were you at when I was on the prowl???”
As my mom would say, it’s when you’re taken that every chicken, raccoon and rooster comes out to play. When I told her of my encounters, she went on to say that maybe these men tried to talk to me because they could tell I was about business, was mature and independent, but still warm. However, I thought that it was more about the old saying that when you stop looking so hard for men and attention, that’s when opportunities come your way–even when you can’t take advantage of them. Before, I would go to museums and bars and clubs wearing the tightest of dresses, the highest of heels (wedge that is), and put on a face full of makeup to get attention and go home with a number. But the minute I decided to focus on myself, eased up on the make up, and wore what was comfortable (flats and a smile), that’s when guys started coming my way, including my current honey bunny. And hey, maybe it’s the happiness that my boyfriend brings to me that shows on my face that makes other men want to approach me. Who knows?
I’m not one to say I’m bothered by the compliments from men who I can’t say anything but “Hello, thank you, and have a good day” to. In fact, it’s nice to know that you’re still doing something right. But it sure would have been nice to be complimented and stepped to respectfully when was I open, ready and willing to fill my phone with numbers. Ah well.