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I can remember so vividly being about four or five years old and having a favorite cousin, Shaniqua (Yes, I have a cousin named Shaniqua). Oh, how I loved Shaniqua. I followed her everywhere! Everything that she did, I did. If she laughed a certain way, I laughed that certain way. When she came home from kindergarten learning to read, I was determined to learn how to read, too. I used to be thrilled on holidays like Easter Sunday and Mother’s Day when our grandmother would go out and buy us matching dresses for church. I mean, I wanted to be just like her when I “grew up,” which was ridiculously hilarious and ironic because we were only two years apart. As time progressed, I matured and developed my own identity.

While the whole copycat syndrome is very natural and normal among small children as they begin to develop their own identities, what I find disturbing is how prevalent it is among adults. There is a shockingly large amount of grown women who must have never properly transitioned from the whole copycat phase as children and are still walking around imitating one another to this day. Yes, they do exist and you probably know a few of them personally. You know the ones who you hate to go shopping with because the entire time that you are browsing the store they’re behind you picking up, examining, and purchasing everything you pick up in the store? Yeah, them. They have to get some kind of variation of what you picked up, don’t they? Or, how about the ones who have no shame and will show up to work with the same exact dress or shoes you wore last week?

Having a copycat can be flattering and even somewhat amusing, at first. However, after awhile, it becomes outright annoying. I mean honestly, what normally adjusted woman imitates another woman constantly? There has to be some sort of imbalance there. I used to think that the only real issue with having a copycat was the fact that it was annoying, however, I am beginning to feel a little differently about that. If you can’t even trust her enough to discuss future plans out of fear that she may run out and go do it first, you probably don’t need her around. What is the point in having a “friend” around who is constantly studying and looking to imitate you? After awhile you begin to question why. Is she looking to replace you? Does she want want your life? Something about that situation is plain old wrong and a bit creepy. While there is no way that she can replace you in the eyes of the people in your life because you are one of a kind, she can certainly try, which could potentially cause unnecessary heartache and grief for you if she is ruthless enough. But, then the question arises, how do you handle such a childish situation like an adult? You can’t deal with it as you would in preschool by pushing her and yelling “Stop doing everything that I do!” or you will look just as crazy as she does.

I remember my mom lecturing me about a copycat I once had, whom she’d nicknamed  “Single Black Female.” In the process she said to me, “If someone wants to try to emulate you, you can’t really stop them, but you’d be a fool to sit around and pass them the playbook.”  What she meant by that is you can’t control someone else’s actions, but you can control the access and insight that you grant them into your life. Feed her with a long-handled spoon. In simple terms, put some distance there. If you value this woman as a friend, don’t go starting a fight, just gracefully and gradually back off. If she’s someone new working your last nerve, keep her at an arm’s length or move on entirely. In due time you’ll turn around and she’ll be off imitating someone else.

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Source: tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com

Okay, so I know a lot of people weren’t crazy about the title of Gabriel Union’s new show on BET, “Single Black Female,” but I’m not sure the alternative the network came up with is any better.

According to Shadow and Act, the initial title didn’t work for “a number of reasons,” so “Single Black Female” has been swapped for “Being Mary Jane.” Am I the only one who has images of Mary Tyler Moore floating around my head? Or Rick James, as the Shadow and Act writer said. For whatever reason the change was made, the press release the site received said:

“Being Mary Jane is an opportunity to explore the life of a statistic often reported but never explored.”

At first I thought maybe the network didn’t want to alienate white viewers with its title, then I remembered the show will be on BET, so the creators must have thought the original title wouldn’t sit well with the black women they want to tune in. Regardless, it’s a little too late since we already know the plot

Beyond the name change, we’ve also got a few more details on Gabrielle’s supporting cast. Playing her father will be Richard Roundtree, and Aaron D. Spears of “The Bold & The Beautiful” will play Mark Bradley, “a charismatic co-anchor and close friend to Mary Jane.”

This show is getting more interesting by the day. Gabrielle just doesn’t look like a Mary Jane to me.

What do you think about this name change?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Source: Style Bakery

Gabrielle Union has been in the acting game for a while now, and despite being one of the leading ladies in most of her films, she’s never really gotten the chance to be the true headliner—until now.

As we know, Gabby is going to star in the upcoming BET show “Single, Black, Female,” and as the title suggests, the show is all about her. So how does Gabrielle feel about rolling solo? She told JET magazine, “I’m really, really excited.”

“We’re still in the casting process, my family and love interest and friends, but for me it’s the first time I’ve ever had my own show and … someone was like, ‘this is a great project; we want Gab to lead it.’ I’ve never had that.”

She went on to say that things usually went like this in the past, “here’s an amazing project, but you are going to be the sassy friend.” Now that she’s the focus of the new prime-time show, she says it’s a “huge, humbling moment.”

Not giving up too many goods about the upcoming show, Gabby said she and the show’s creator Mara Brock Akil, are “going to tell the story of her life at work, her life with her family and … her relationship life. Or lack thereof.”

Yay for black actresses working in scripted shows!

How do you think Gabby will do as the star of her own show?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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BET seems determined to make it’s mark in the scripted sitcom genre with husband-and-wife team Mara Brock Akil and Salim Akil. The network has given the couple the greenlight for a new pilot titled, “Single Black Female,” which is expected to air in August.

The premise of the show is a look at the work-family balance of a single, black woman who is the host of a popular Atlanta talk show, similar to The Ellen Degeneres show. There’s no word on who will play the role and what other aspects of the woman’s life will be featured, but from these details, it sounds so far, so good.

The series is a part of a major production deal Mara and Salim, who produce and direct ‘The Game,” signed with BET in May which includes several pilot commitments. Mara is also behind the recent remake of Sparkle, starting Whitney Houston and Jordin Sparks, and Salim directed “Jumping the Broom.”

I have to say with the way “The Game” has been going this season, I’m not super excited about this series, but with a new show comes the chance to learn from mistakes and approach things from a different angle, and hopefully they will.

What do you think about Mara and Salim’s work so far? Can they make a show on a single, black female a success?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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This past week I celebrated my 32nd birthday, as you can see I’m not one to hide my age. Needless to say I had an amazing day filled with love and well wishes from family and friends. Amongst the birthday shout outs and wishes I found it interesting that after almost every “Happy Birthday” an inquiry on the state of my union followed. Half of my well wishers wanted to know when I was going to finally get married and have a baby because I was indeed “getting old”.

Although I’m pretty much used to being asked these questions after receiving them ever since I turned 29, I’m still amazed on how people seem to automatically assume they know exactly what you want in life, especially when it comes to YOUR relationship and future. Since there seems to be no rules or etiquette book on what not to say to a single woman I’ve taken the liberty of spreading the word on the top five..



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