All Articles Tagged "Reunite"

Someone Please Tell Emily The Rules of Break Ups and Make Ups

February 7th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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There’s no hope for “Love and Hip Hop’s” Emily B. I’ve accepted it and I’m almost OK with it, except for the fact that she doesn’t know how to be dumb on the low.

There’s a reason people say don’t tell your girlfriends everything about your relationship. One, it’s so you don’t fall victim to the hater friend who’s never going to like the man you’re with regardless of who he is, and two, it’s because once you air your man’s full load of dirty laundry you can never repair his reputation with your girls. You may have forgiven him, but your friends probably never will.

Emily failed on that rule big time. Not only did she tell her friends every trifling thing that Fab did wrong to her, she gave about 3 million viewers tons of reasons not to respect that man every Monday night for two seasons, now we’re supposed to keep our eyes peeled for the day these two make a happy home nine years after being “together?” Not gone work.

As if Em didn’t sound silly enough on last night’s Love and Hip Hop Reality Check Reunion, after it was over she instagramed a photo of Fab sleeping on her chest with the caption “Don’t Sleep On Us.” If they were an undercover couple new to the scene, or if he was worth a damn as a man, the pic would be cute, but knowing what we know about him, her, and the next 30 chicks, it just makes you want to say, no, Emily. You’re the one who’s sleeping.

I’m past getting angry at her for being with Fab, I just want her to go about this whole break-up/make-up/fake separation situation a little bit smarter, and a lot more discreetly. It’s hard to feel the same level of giddy excitement that she does when she talks about a man finally claiming her about ten years in. Where they do that at? Especially when you know the next day she’ll be crying again.

Whenever my friends and I were reuniting with an old thing we kept it on the absolute low. It was always funny because we’d pretend to be mad at one another for not telling but we knew exactly why we didn’t: we had no idea if the situation would turn out well and we didn’t want to hear anyone’s mouth. So, instead of being all googly-eyed and saying “Antoine sent me flowers and we’re going on a date tonight” and hearing, “the same Antoine who cheated on you with those three girls and lied about it when you caught him?” you just go do you, and if it works out after the trial reuniting period, great, you’ll tell the world. And if not, well, you’re the only one who has to know about it. There’s no embarrassing “I told you sos” or explanations about what lessons you learned because you kept everyone else out of it.

I get that Emily’s in some version of love but she needs to stop trying to sell everyone else on it. The public isn’t buying it and I’m inclined to think she’s trying to convince herself that situation is right by getting everyone else’s approval.

Everyone has been dumb and in love before—maybe not for nine years—but most of us have experienced an on-again/off-again/never speaking to him again/back with him again mess of a relationship. When you’re in a situation like that you just have to keep it close. No one is going to understand why you keep going back and no one will get why you’re crying but still refuse to leave, but the key to not having to explain any of that to people is keeping a tight lip on your break-up and make-up. If the relationship is just between two people, then all the other messy stuff should be to.

Have you ever broken up with a guy and had to deal with criticism from friends when you took him back? If you’ve ever still messed around with an ex, were you quick to tell your friends or did you keep it on the hush until you knew it was going somewhere?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Should Rihanna and Chris Brown Just Get Back Together Already?

December 30th, 2011 - By Brande Victorian
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It’s been nearly two years since the physical altercation, and resulting media frenzy, between Chris Brown and Rihanna occurred. Since then, both stars have claimed they want to get out from under the shadow of the incident, and judging from the steady rise of Rihanna’s career, and the way Chris was able to bounce back, you could easily say they have. One thing the past lovers haven’t been able to escape, though, is speculation that they still want to be together, and when you look at the subliminal twitter affair they’ve been carrying on for quite some time now, it makes you wonder, should they just do it?

I came across an editorial on Global Grind recently that proclaimed C Breezy and Ri Ri are getting back together. The article was more about  BlogXilla’s own infatuation with the celebrity couple as he talked about looking forward to reading daily blog posts and seeing photos of the pair out together. He wrote that he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had gotten attached to “ChRihanna” and that he could relate to them in ways he can’t relate to Jay-Z and Beyonce. “I’ve been on line kissing my girl while waiting for a two piece and biscuit, and I can say that’s when love is at its finest. That’s when love is at its most pure, and seeing that moment between Rihanna and Chris was an added blessing as a fan.” Of course no couple should ever get together, or back together, to appease their fans but Rihanna seems to be more hurt by the split than onlookers.

There is a non-stop trail of tweets from “Just because I let you go doesn’t mean I wanted to,” to “I’ll always love you,” followed up by “Love U more than you know” from Chris. And then there were those in between tweets from mama Chris: “HELLO LADY I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!,” to which Rihanna responded: “Miss+Love u 2.” Plus Rihanna petitioned to have the parameters of Chris’s restraining order modified to allow physical contact, so long as it’s not abusive. The situation is utterly and completely speculative but it forms one heck of a case of circumstantial evidence.

If the young lovers truly want to be together, there’s no sense in attempting to keep it on the hush for the sake of disapproving fans who no doubt have just as much drama going on right under their own noses. I’m with BlogXilla when he says spare me the line about the message Rihanna will send young girls if the two reunite. That girl is already sending plenty of messages to teens through her lyrics and the way she dresses. Her position as a celebrity may put her on a pedestal as someone young women emulate but that doesn’t mean she’s a role model. It’s up to parents to set appropriate examples for their children. Besides, the public has clearly forgiven Chris. Is it no OK for her to do the same? Sure, we weren’t the ones who were assaulted but we are the ones who have made his redemption possible by buying his albums and supporting his shows.

It’s tough for anyone to say what they would do in a situation like Rihanna’s and most women don’t leave after the first incident. While I don’t believe the mantra “love makes people do crazy things” excuses Chris’s brutal attack, I do believe in lapses of judgment, mistakes, and opportunities for change.

The media would clearly never make it easy for these stars to reunite but if that’s truly the only thing holding them back, they might as well stop putting on a show at their expense and give most of the public what they really want—a C Breezy, Ri Ri reunion.

What do you think about Rihanna and Chris Brown getting back together? Can you see it happening?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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