All Articles Tagged "money issues"
America’s favorite case study of familial fame and dysfunction made its way back to the headlines last weekend. Fresh off driveway disputes over the late King of Pop’s estate this summer, the latest Jackson family gossip has LaToya Jackson stepping up to take the heirs of the family fortune under her wing. According to reports, LaToya signed all three of her brother’s children to her Ja-Tail enterprises talent agency. Her nieces and nephews would be the agency’s only clients. LaToya later denied the claims.
It’s tempting to judge the Jacksons. But we have to remember, when money’s involved it’s always about more than money. Money triggers emotions. Add in family drama and income equality and it’s easy to understand how things repeatedly get out of hand.
The breadwinner of the family seems like the best role to be in in all this mess, but the position comes with responsibility and stress. Just ask Michael and Janet. Money gives you more power in business and family. An imbalance of power means one thing – drama.
Even if you haven’t eclipsed your family’s earnings yet, it’s probably something you should start preparing for if it’s in your future. Women are increasingly becoming the breadwinners of their households. And the income gap between rich and poor continues to grow.
We’ve combed the web for advice from financial and relationship experts to help you navigate the rocky terrain where family and funds overlap. Paris Jackson, this one’s for you.
Understand That Money Makes People Crazy
Don’t take it personally when your sister feels you owe it to her to pay her credit card bill, or your cousin tells your aunty you’ve changed. Psychiatrists have proven that people generally feel worse about themselves the more they feel they earn less and have lower social rank than those around them. Try and be empathetic to the emotional impact your difference in wealth has on your family.
Have A Plan For Your Money, Honey
When you experience an increase in wealth, the first step is one of adjustment and planning. Decide what type of life you want to live and the personal financial goals you want to set for yourself. Don’t think about your family during this stage. This is your money, so take care of you first. You can’t help anybody if you’re broke too.
Empower, Don’t Enable
Money doesn’t fix everything. If a family member comes to you with a need, discuss other options that could remedy their problem. Asking for money is a simple solution, but it might not be the best. Use your wealth to empower your family to be self-sufficient rather than taking care of them. That goes for friends, too. Learn from MC Hammer and his 40-member entourage.
Give What You Can & Don’t Keep Score
Only lend money you can afford to lose. If you won’t miss the money, just give it as gift. Money is a notorious relationship destroyer. Avoid feeling bitter about a transaction later by being upfront about your ability to part with the money, and the other person’s ability to pay it back. Furthermore, communicate! Address problems when they arise. If you plan on leaving your money to your kids and giving your siblings the cold shoulder, say that while you’re alive. A lot of money problems are made worse because people are so uncomfortable talking about them.
C. Cleveland covers professional development topics and entrepreneurial rebels who blaze their own career paths. She explores these stories and more on The Red Read, Twitter (@CleveInTheCity) and Facebook (/MyReadIsRed).
The last time I traveled back to my hometown in California, I did the usual of inviting old friends to Friday night dinner. These are friends who I’ve known from either junior high, high school, or college. When I sent out the email request to said friends, I already knew the kind of response I would get from one of them.
Lashawn: Girl, I’m so broke this month. I can’t make dinner but I would love to see you. When are you leaving town?
You’d think from this brief piece of information I’m sharing with you that Lashawn just didn’t care to see me. Well, it’s not so simple. Lashawn is actually one of the most sweetest and encouraging friends in my life. Although we don’t talk all the time, she takes the initiative when reaching out, never misses a birthday, and always checks up on me when she knows I’ve been going through some stuff. We met in junior high and I had always felt proud to have her in my circle of friends…until I realized that she may never grow up.
It’s been ten years since we graduated college and Lashawn’s situation definitely reinforces the meaning behind the saying “you are what you believe you are.” For Lashawn, that belief is that one of being perpetually broke.
Do you have a friend like this? A friend that never seems not to be broke. Who seems to be too comfortable with the idea of not spending a dime more than they have to? Who won’t go out for a drink unless it involves happy hour?
It’s draining to say the least, because it’s not about her personal finances; it’s about the poverty that she believes herself to be in. Lashawn has always worked a decent job, has always lived at home, and has never been stupid with her spending. In other words, I know she is not broke; it’s just that she’s married to the image of her being broke. It’s kept her from so many great things that her friends (even those who have far less) have had the chance to experience, like travel.
Although I questioned Lashawn’s approach to life, she swore to me that she had various random bills that kept her from being financially stable enough to do everything she’s wanted to do. It’s her defense, of course.
During my last trip, I did finally tell her that it was rude of her not to go out to a meal considering that I came to town three times per year. She did go out to dinners once in a while after all. Who knows? Maybe she didn’t want to run the risk of splitting tax and tip with four other people.
I understand people playing the “broke” card in their early twenties but at a certain point in life, one has to manage her finances without crying broke every time a social outing comes up. It’s especially hard when you see someone with so much potential and so full of life shortchange herself with these lame expectations of her life. As long as Lashawn has been talking about taking her dream trip to Paris, it still hasn’t happened. Although buying a plane ticket to Paris is as easy as saving part of two month’s pay, she can’t seem to understand she’s deserving of something so great.
What would it do for her life if she just changed the way she saw herself? It would change immensely. Sadly, she still can’t see that despite all the examples of friends and colleagues exemplifying otherwise.
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If you had a man who was sweet, attentive, thoughtful and in tune with your needs, would you leave him because of his struggling financial situation? If you’re in a serious relationship, at what point do you start considering your partner’s money matters?
Counselor and Therapist, Doris Helge Ph.D. answers this tricky question over at Your Tango.com.
Read her response and then let us know your take on this situation? Does a man have to be bringing in a certain amount of money for you consider him? Where do we draw the line between a gold digger and a woman who’s just trying to protect herself.
How do you feel when you’re invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant? Do you feel excited or does the thought of splitting the bill with ten other people make you uneasy?
As often as it happens, there seems to be no clear consensus on how to deal with splitting the bill. Some insist that you should pay for what you ordered, others believe that you should divide the bill evenly whether or not you had an appetizer and Joe had a four course meal.
To understand the general sentiment surrounding this sensitive issue, TAP correspondent Jason Moore took to the streets of LA. Check out what folks had to say!