Source: Shutterstock

From HelloBeautiful

I promise you. He is not intimidated by you because you are an independent woman. Yes, you are holding your own in the workplace, making your own money, paying your own rent or mortgage and even buying your own bags and shoes, but I PROMISE, he is not intimidated by that.

It’s something else, and it’s more than likely your failure to turn off that bulldog that has gotten you so far in your career when all a man desires is your beautiful smile and womanly presence. I know this, because I have said a man was intimidated by my being an attorney and I have been proven wrong!

In my first year in law school, one of my female professors shared with us how her husband had to talk her off the ledge of being over-the-top with her family. She stated that as a litigator by trade, she would come home and find herself cross examining her three year old about peanut butter and holding depositions with her husband about the most miniscule details in carpooling. She also shared that it was not helping out in her marriage and/or family life and she had to learn how to scale it down for the sake of her family.

Read more at HelloBeautiful.com

All of us want to feel beautiful, and we all should believe that we are – no matter what we look like. I’m not talking about the airbrushed, magazine standard of beauty. I’m talking about the “comfortable in my own skin – inside out” type of beauty. However, this confidence shouldn’t be confused with arrogance or entitlement. Some of us have been told that we’re beautiful for as long as we can remember, thus our general vision of ourselves is based on what is reflected around us by other people. As flattering as that may be, some women may develop what has been called Pretty Girl Syndrome, which involves confusing your identity with your appearance – basing everything that you are on what you look like. After all, if EVERYONE says you’re beautiful, it MUST be true, right? There is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance, but at what point does this become an obsession to the point where you believe you have “pretty people problems”? Not sure? If the following is you, you may have Pretty Girl Syndrome.

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Tyler C and Dharun R - Source: moviespad.com

While Dharun Ravi, now 20, thought he was just playing an innocent practical joke on his roommate, Tyler Clementi, it was decided today in court that it was not a joke, but indeed a hate crime. Ravi captured Clementi’s sexual encounter with an older man and showed it on a webcam to countless classmates in 2010.  Devastated by the fact that he was displayed by his roommate to so many strangers, Clementi committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge soon after finding out. Now this childish act could possibly cost Rhavi his freedom, as well as the opportunity to stay in the United States.

The jury came down with the verdict after 12 hours of deliberation, and Ravi will be sentenced on May 21, facing up to 10 years in prison, as well as possible deportation. Ravi is an Indian citizen who spent the majority of his life in the U.S.  He is currently free on bail, but had to turn over his passport. And while Rhavi and his attorney were hoping to push the idea that it was just a misguided prank by an immature freshman, Ravi’s own instant messages and emails around the time of the crime were the nail in the coffin: “Roommate asked for room till midnight. Went into Molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” Those type of statements, along with the fact that Ravi tried to tape Clementi’s sexual encounters with the same man not just once, but twice–but he was stopped when Clementi found out what was going on–didn’t help him at all.

Ravi was convicted on ALL 15 counts, including two counts of bias intimidation based on sexual orientation (a hate crime),  invasion of privacy and tampering with evidence and witnesses. Last year, Clementi’s family said they didn’t want the punishment for Rhavi to be too harsh. They spoke out today after the verdict was read.

“The trial was painful for us, as it would be for any parent who must sit through and listen to people talk about bad things that were done to their child.”

While I hope they don’t deport Ravi, and that in the end, he doesn’t wind up with all 10 possible years in prison, I can understand why someone would think that sort of punishment would be necessary for him. We clearly live in a time now where bullies are pushing young people way too far (to other acts of violence or suicide), and not much is being done about it. Therefore, if this can open some young person’s eyes to the consequences of their own actions…then sadly, so be it.

Do you think he should have been found guilty? Was it a childish prank gone wrong, or was he acting out of hate?

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Source: North Jersey Blog

Paula Deen is loved by many for her down home southern cooking but a former general manager at Paula’s Savannah restaurant says there’s some shady business cooking in the kitchen.

Lisa Jackson filed a lawsuit in the Chatham County Superior Court claiming her physician encouraged her to quit working at Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House because of panic attacks she was suffering due to the stress of the job. Lisa says sexual remarks made by Paula’s brother, Bubba Hiers, who co-owns the restaurant with his sister, and racial slurs made by both Paula and Bubba were the cause of her stress. She also claims to have witnessed Bubba violently shake a black employee and says Paula invited the man to her home to smooth things over rather than address her brother’s behavior which created an environment of intimidation.

In addition to racially insensitive remarks, Lisa, who is white, claims black staff had to enter the restaurant through a back entrance, and that they were forbidden to use a customer restroom that white staffers were allowed to use. As for the sexual harassment claim, Lisa says Bubba kept making unwanted advances and also watched pornography in the office they shared. She says he also distributed pictures of two women having sex at an office meeting and complained about heavier staff members.

In the most shocking allegation, the complaint states that in 2007 Lisa asked what the attire for a catered event should be and Paula responded:

“Well what I would really like is a bunch of little n***ers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around… Now, that would be a true Southern wedding wouldn’t it? But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.”

Wow. Lisa was hired at the seafood restaurant in 2005 but she says she reached her breaking point in 2010 when Bubba supposedly grabbed her face during a dinner for vendors at the restaurant and said “I love you,” then later screamed at her and spit in her face. A few days later she quit her job after her doctor told her it would significantly improve her health. Despite having been gone from the job for more than a year, she states in the lawsuit that she “continues to endure immense pain and has suffered greatly at the hands of Defendants’ outrageous and intolerable conduct.”

I wonder how Paula’s going to explain this one.

Does it sound like Lisa Jackson has a case?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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(CNN) — An African-American electrician discovered a noose in front of his work locker after filing a racial discrimination complaint against the New York Fire Department, the man’s attorneys said Monday.  Gregory Seabrook said he found the noose Thursday at a firehouse where he worked in Brooklyn, New York, according to his attorney, Howard Shafran.  ”I was surprised and appalled that in this day and age I would find that,” Seabrook told reporters.  The 20-year department veteran filed a complaint with The New York State Division of Human Rights in December, saying he was denied overtime, had fewer chances at promotions than his white counterparts and was referred to by his colleagues as a “black rat,” according to the complaint.  ”This is a clear and unambiguous token of hatred,” said Shafran, referencing the noose. “One could reasonably conclude that you’re dealing with a culture of intolerance.”

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