None of us can deny the cultural impact of The Shade Room. Angelica Nwandu, the founder of the celebrity gossip site– turned media company, has changed the way we use social media to promote a product, tell stories and engage with our audiences. It’s been a game-changer.
Still, there are times when I find their promotion of certain content to be a bit regressive and in some cases harmful. Like their decisions to post about 50 Cent’s sexual harassment/ revenge porn/ child rearing commentary with crying laughing emojis, citing them as merely petty instead of destructive. Or Fabolous’ outfits of the day and other shenanigans in the midst of his domestic violence trial or R. Kelly’s vocal abilities (as if we didn’t know he could sing) in the midst of everything that’s coming out and the facts we’ve already known about him. Perhaps it’s reporting the “news” but there is also the idea that the decision to highlight or laugh at these type of figures, when they abuse women is irresponsible. Not to mention much of the content mentioned above isn’t exactly newsworthy, it just gets people riled up and talking. And perhaps that’s the goal. But there are times when the cost is too great.
Over the years, I’ve noticed several posts that have made me “feel a way.” But perhaps none more disappointing than the one that was shared this past weekend.
TheShadeRoom decided to repost a video from fellow IG user @LucyPapers.
The video, as shown here, was already too much. The thought of a man physically imposing himself on a woman, screaming in her face when she suggests that she wants to break up is intimidation, it’s threatening. It’s unnecessarily aggressive. And their inclusion of the emoji does little to discourage or disparage the behavior of the man or that of the person who decided to record the altercation and post it on social media, rather than intervene or call the authorities for help. And as threatening as this video was, the full one, which The Shade Room decided to edit, paints a more dangerous picture.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BktJQjSlhDH/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=4yoj56uyj1tz
As you can see, this man climbs on top of this woman to choke her. And while she’s not screaming and hollering, she is visibly trying to get him off of her. The original video on Lucy Papers’ page was reported because she too made light of the situation and it has since been removed.
I love The Shade Room but with so many women living in abusive relationships, the decision to post this edited version, with no commentary, no condemnation of the abuse and intimidation normalizes and even romanticizes this type of behavior as “hood love.” With men, many of whom comment on The Shade Room, with rationalizations of domestic violence like, “We don’t know what she did.” Or “There are two sides to every story,” this video makes it seem like a man yelling in a woman’s face is “not that bad.” Like it’s cause for laughter instead of alarm. When in reality, his behavior escalated to something we can all recognize as abusive. Even worse, it suggests that when we encounter or witness these types of situations, instead of trying to step in and help, we should ignore the suffering and mistreatment of another woman or human being and take out our camera phones with the hope of creating a viral video for the internet.
With such a large following of impressionable young people and Black women, who disproportionately lose their lives to domestic violence, this is inexcusable. Hopefully, they’ll find a way to do better.
