Source: Shutterstock

Relationships can be tough. Realizing who to take that next step and build a lasting marriage with can be even tougher. We women want our prince charming and we want him to need us as much as we need him. And in this era, needs aren’t based around the emotional or physical so much as the cha-ching! I was at a get-together with a few of my girlfriends the other night and each of them made a list of the 5 things the man they’d marry needs to have: A good job and money were the top 2 things on each list.

Now let me be the first to say a woman should look for a goal-orientated man with something to offer, but I have to be honest, only three out of the seven friends who asked for this had a decent job/career of their own. The others? Well let’s just say they’re still trying to find themselves. Me, on the other hand, I’ve been on the opposite end of the spectrum, involved in more than one situation where my contribution to a man was way more than his contribution to me.

So where can we find the balance ladies? How can we look for prince charming without putting too much significance on his pockets? Or be an independent woman without playing someone’s mama? When we don’t want to be gold diggers (although it is important to have a man who can provide) and we don’t want to be sugar mamas (although we want to provide for the one we love as well), where can we find the happy medium? The balance all lies in building together, not what you came into the relationship with but what you  both plan to achieve in the union. Here are a few inspiring couples who show us just where the healthy balance lies:

theglobenewspaper.blogspot.com

Some women have dreamed of being married since the age of baby dolls and pigtails, so once they begin dating, every guy becomes a potential Prince Charming. As romantic as the notion of marriage may be, most people don’t stop to think if they are actually “marriage material.” Many think that simply because you fall in love and date for a year or two, marriage is the natural next step – but it’s not for everyone. If you DO decide that marriage is in your future, make sure you’re honest with yourself about what you bring to the table. After all, you can’t attract a man who possesses the traits of a good husband if you don’t display those traits yourself (and of course the same applies to men). If you’re unsure, these signs may indicate that you may not make a good wife – and have some work to do on yourself before you walk the aisle.

Read the rest of this entry »

witchesbrewonline.com

You don’t become a celebrity by being unattractive, boring and lacking in charm. And these are certainly traits that their partners could be attracted to…could be. Sometimes it’s hard to tell with the 8 figures stamped on their foreheads.

hlisted.com

Here’s the thing: almost everyone knows at least ONE “gold digger” who is only interested in chasing the next dollar. I certainly don’t like the idea of gold digging but as I get older, I find myself questioning whether or not it is really “wrong” to go for what you know. The people on the following pages have all been considered gold diggers whether it be because they’re trying to pocket some dollars of their significant others, trying to find their own fame, restore their image…or for any other reason you can think of.  What do you think? Is it wrong to date someone with money (or power or fame) just so your star can shine a little brighter?

Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s face it, women love to be wined, dined and spoiled. If we had to choose between man with a Black card and a poor man, there wouldn’t be much of a choice to make. However, the reality is in this economy, a woman (or man) would be fortunate to find a mate with a job, let alone a sizable bank account. But are a man’s finances a deal breaker for you? After all, broke men need love too…and here are some reasons to consider dating a man without means…

Read the rest of this entry »

Some call it the “Sugar Daddy Syndrome” while others call it the “Daddy issues” complex and it seems like everybody has a strong opinion about it.  A lot of people have no problem with it, while many find it sick and perverted. Regardless of your own personal views, young women dating older men is a worldwide phenomenon that is gaining popularity and acceptance at an alarming rate.  But, why?  And what is attracting these young, attractive women, to settle down with slow-paced, elderly men?  We all know the gold-digger issue, but other than that, what gives?  Check out these 7 reasons women seem to be ditching the bar scene, and heading for the retirement center.

Do you know the guy who has “made it” and has expressed concerns about women only wanting him for his money? And have you witnessed that very same guy with those significant concerns roll up to the front of the club in his Bentley or make a scene about getting into VIP and ordering bottle service or wearing flashy Rolex watch and other ostentatious jewelry? Indeed, it’s a paradox that never ceases to amaze me.

A guy I dated in the past, who was wealthy by his own standards (read: doing better than folks he grew up with in Queens), expressed this similar sentiment of being scared of golddiggers. My first thought was, how would you fear a woman being attracted only to your money? I feel that everyone has the ability to comprehend whether someone is attracted to them for the right reasons or the wrong reasons. It doesn’t take a high level of complex emotional capabilities to gauge if someone is with you for your looks, money, or stability as opposed to you as a whole. So why all these fears from some men with money?

Many of these men who exhibit these “fears” also tend to make it clear that they do have money, thereby attracting those women who they are supposedly trying to avoid. It’s obviously an insecurity thing. If you are popping bottles in the VIP section of a hot club with your Rolex on, you want folks to give you respect based on your financial status. The exhibition serves to play up what they see as their best asset and what sets them apart in the marketplace. In my opinion, a man who both fears a woman using him for his money and makes a point of conveying his wealth, is a man who lacks confidence in his character. Why else would he focus on the materialistic, if not to overshadow what he sees as the shortcomings of his whole self?

Of course there are other types of men with money; those who don’t care to make a show about it and those who absolutely have no fears of attracting gold diggers since they’re looking for trophy wives (that’s an even, superficial exchange in my book). It’s not fair for men, like the one I dated and later befriended, to talk about fears of being used when they’re placing themselves in a position to being used.  I told him if he really has that unfounded fear, he should make a point of not relying heavily on showing off so that he can attract a woman for who he really is. But of course, he wasn’t hearing that and just wrote it off as me not understanding his unique plight. I’m certain that he’ll end up in the exact relationship that he “feared,” because he’s too ashamed to really admit that he’s really that guy who wants to live the life of a rap celebrity, complete with the facade of a music video life and music video wife.

More on Madame Noire!

• 6 Bangin’ Hairstyles for Lovers of Bangs
• Are White Men Trophy Husbands to Some Black Women?
• 8 Reasons Why Water is So Important to Our Health
• Ask the Luv Coach: “He is Not Interested in Sex With Me Anymore”
• 6 Lies Women Tell To Make A Man Like Them
• 7 Things NOT To Tell Your Mom About Your Relationship
• Is Wearing a Weave For Everyone?

Sex is a bigger deal than we all like to admit. Often our day to day handling of the big “S” doesn’t quite match up with society’s prim ideals and values. Whether you think it’s the way things should be or not, the horizontal mambo, or at least the glorification of it, is a thriving part of every institution known to man.

But is there something wrong when a woman takes this basic, widely known aspect of humanity and uses it to her advantage? If a woman is in charge of her sexuality, it seems she has a God given right to use it at her disposal.

“Play your strengths,” is generally accepted as a great strategy to get ahead in life. Why shouldn’t that apply to sex? Isn’t a woman using her “body capital” to get a head (get it?) the epitome of female empowerment?

On one hand, our hyper sexualized culture leads to episodes like the 14-year old caught Getting Her Jaws Worked on camera and thinking it’s all good. On the flip side, a well positioned display of sex at the right time, with the right guy, has launched some women’s dreams, inspiring every other woman to follow her own.

I’m sure you have an answer. In fact, it’s very likely your thoughts on the matter have limited you from using your own vagina power in your quest for success. But this list of modern day temptresses are thinking different than most. And they don’t give a dam what anyone else thinks.

A simple search online will reveal the commonly held misconception that many black women are gold diggers. Gold Diggers of course come in many colors and temperaments, ranging from kind and coddling to bossy or even lazy. But we are not here today to judge whether being a gold digger itself is bad or good, or what a women should do once she snags that man with cash. We are hear to cast an eye on that rare breed of woman who binds her meal ticket in hold matrimony, then bleeds him dry in order to create her own empire. This rare species — the Industrious Gold Digger — does not sit idly by and get manicures once she has secured the ring. Nor does she nag her new husband to death in a grim attempt to hold on to her money bag. No. She takes that access to wealth and parlays it into a fortune of her own, so she can keep or leave the man at her bidding. Regardless of whether the relationship goes sour, The Industrious Gold Digger has used her mate as a stepping stone to her personally controlled economic power. Here are seven such women who have capitalized on marrying up.

Model Jessica White famously stated that she was holding on to her “goodies” until someone put a ring on it earlier this year. It must have worked because she recently revealed her first engagement at a party honoring Beyonce by flashing her promissory bauble. The man she finally gave it up for (this one last time) was a mystery, but Hello Beautiful reports that his identity has been finally unveiled! Jessica White is set to marry “British-born Wall Street banker Bruce DeWitt,” according to TheYBF.com. Still no picture, but nevertheless, well done, Jessica! White is not the first black woman to forgo flashy figures well-known in the public eye, instead opting for the quiet laid back man with tons of cash. Here are more African-American celebrity females who have chosen subtle men with big bankrolls, instead of eye-catching ballers (who might actually be broke).