All Articles Tagged "getting over an ex"
Most of us have been there. We break up with a man and vow never to speak to him again. But in the back of your mind you silently hope that he still wants you. And proves this fact by trying to get in touch with you. That may be what you want to happen; but it’s not going the way you planned it. Homeboy has not reached out. You’re wondering if he still cares, if there’s a chance you can make it work etc. So what do you do? You call him. We asked our Facebook followers if this story sounded familiar to them. This is what they had to say.
Tia: Yes I have.. No regrets but I should have kept my word to myself
Lina: Yes but I came to my senses and left him alone but still love him
Damita: I ended up regretting it because he has issues he has to fix on his own. Plus, I found out he had a hidden addiction! #OnlyGodCanFixHim!;(( very sad sight!
Brenda: I didn’t go back 2 him but I slept with him & I felt so dirty so NEVER EVER AGAIN.
Myisha: Just reached out to my deadbeat baby daddy today. Smh, why!? I don’t know. Got me nowhere!
Nita: Yep called him today. Picked back up like we never left off. Can’t help who your heart loves.
Alicia: Yes I have and no regrets. He is my husband now and we are happy together.
Tezra: Yes I did. I explained I just wanted to be friends but he couldn’t respect that so I cut the cord. Never again I told him that I should have stayed away but my heart wasn’t clear but when I expressed my feelings I ended it forever.
Monique: I have someone now I would like to call but.. .it’s not going to happen. I learned my lesson. But I miss the person I fell for…not the person he proved himself to be.
Samantha: Yup. a few years ago I was in a verbally abusive relationship & broke up with him. Thought I made a mistake, then reached out to him and made up with him. The relationship got worse & almost became physically abusive then I ended it for good. I can’t say that I regret it because if I never had that experience I wouldn’t be able to recognize red flags in future dating situations. Besides when Mr. Right does come along, I’ll be that much more grateful for him!
Jasmine: Yes. Can’t help what the heart wants but our only issue is we were too intense to be so young and it didn’t work. Sure, at least once a week I am shaking my head at him but we love each other, are great friends and find it hard to be away from each other too long.
Jacqueline: Yes…when I did let him come over after 13 months of being apart, he got drunk and peed on my floor….
Aj: Nope, I’m like Rosa Parks….I refuse to go back
Normally I’d advise my girlfriends to be careful about jumping in to a new relationship right after a breakup. Rebound relationships rarely last because you’re normally vulnerable and raw, and hooking up with someone right after heartbreak can be a destructive way of dealing with the pain. In the end, there will likely be more hurt and confusion.
But for some, while getting into a rebound relationship may not be the smartest move post break-up, rebound sex is something completely different. Taking time to heal after a breakup makes sense, but does that mean that you should abstain from sex while you’re still processing what just happened with the last serious relationship? My cautious self says stay away from having casual sex until you’re completely ready to love again, but my realistic self says that people have needs and rebound sex may be just the thing to push you over the edge and move on.
Not sure if rebound sex is a good move? Consider these pros and cons before jumping back in the sack.
A break-up is a fairly difficult experience to get past. The thought of no longer being with a person whom you once loved. The embarrassment or shame that sometimes comes with informing your family and friends that your “we” has just become a me – myself, and I. A bad break-up can certainly be among the most heart-gripping experiences that we as humans endure, and while Hollywood loves selling the myth that getting over your ex is as simple as over-indulging in a tub of ice cream, crying over your favorite playlist of sad love songs, and throwing darts at a photo of your ex, in the real world, we know that this simply isn’t true. These cliché and romanticized methods for dealing with a break-up are actually counterproductive, among countless others. If you’ve recently experienced a break-up or are simply struggling to get over your ex, here are 15 common behaviors that are most likely hindering your progress.
Monitoring your ex’s social media profiles
I know how tempting it is, and I’ve been there. But checking your ex’s social media profiles to see what he’s been up to is not such a smart move if you’re serious about getting over him. For one, you run the risk of having your feelings hurt by seeing things that you don’t want to and were never supposed to see, such as photos of him with or flirty interactions between him and a new love interest. It’s a horrible feeling, take it from someone who’s been there. If you have it in you, I suggest deleting him from your friend’s list completely. If you can’t bring yourself to hit delete, that’s okay, too. Just begin practicing self-control and don’t give in to the urge to check his page. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Nobody likes to admit when they’re not over their ex. In fact, people will insist they are over their ex by collecting evidence, facts, and photos like a court case to say, “SEE! I don’t care about him/her anymore!” which only makes you think they’re definitely not over them. So if you’re wondering if the guy you’re currently seeing is holding onto some feelings for the woman before you, you’ll have to do some research of your own. Here are signs to look out for.
We all experience failed relationships until we find that one special person, and while some of us only have to deal with the hardship of a breakup a few times, others have it much harder. If you’ve had bad relationship after bad relationship, or if a recent breakup has just been awful, here are 15 tips to help you recover and keep a positive outlook towards dating.
Give yourself time.
When a relationship ends, it’s likely that you’ll be sad, angry, upset, and confused. Always give yourself time to grieve and to adjust.
Breakups are tough. There’s no doubt about it. But some celebrities seem to have the same idea about how to get over or get back at their ex—they simply rebound with someone who looks like their former love. They’re not spitting images, but they’re enough to make you do a double-take and go “hmmm.” Are these celebs just missing their exes or trying their best to get back at them?
Rihanna & Dudley O’Shaughnessy/Chris Brown Look-a-Like
For her “We Found Love” video, Rih Rih cast a spitting image of her former flame, Chris Brown (during his blonde ambitions phase). Rihanna and model Dudley O’Shaughnessy reportedly even dated for a brief period.
Check out the other 8 celebs who used look-a-likes to ease a broken heart on StyleBlazer.com.
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I’m an advocate of feeling all the emotions that inevitably come with a breakup. If you don’t hurt every drop of hurt there is, all of your relationships moving forward will be tainted with your unresolved feelings from the past (and you’re in denial if you don’t think that’s true. Ever notice how guys who ‘don’t give a damn’ about their cheating exes also conveniently happen to be paranoid, jealous and controlling? Unresolved feelings at work…) so, this list is not about avoiding the reality of heartbreak. It won’t offer you a quick fix because there isn’t one. In fact, the word “quick” is in direct contrast to the only thing that makes you heal: time. However, there’s certainly no need to make things any worse! So avoid this.